thanks to comfy, i am now part of the that little cluster fuck they call twitter...check out my own little cluster fuck of thoughts on the side bar and join me in twittering...if you dare...
cg
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
they like me, they really like me!
lol...scott, whose podcast project i did readings for (see the right hand side bar) said that, so far, my readings have the most downloads...that's pretty cool considering i had never done anything like that before...thanks to those of you who went over and checked it out...if you havent, what are you waiting for??...last weeks' release featured my favorite passage..."open letter to dave matthews" or something like that...it was funny...there will be another release tomorrow, so check it out!...
cg
cg
the definition of porn
a recent blog post by mnwhr (do you have any idea how many of your posts have prompted me into writing my own posts?? lol) prompted me to ask "what is porn?"...it's such a simple but complex question, really...so i threw on my investigative hat and ran off in search of an answer...
then i got really lazy, yawned, fluttered my eyelids and just googled "porn"...
"creative activity (writing or pictures or films etc.) of no literary or artistic value other than to stimulate sexual desire"...
now that sounds simple enough, right?...er, not really...at least not in my book...because the big glitch in this definition is "of no literary or artistic value"...so, um, who gets to decide the literary or artistic value of anything?...and why cant something be both artistic and appeal to one's sexual desire?...
so i went off searching again...
"the depiction of erotic behavior (as in pictures or writing) intended to cause sexual excitement...
material (as books or a photograph) that depicts erotic behavior and is intended to cause sexual excitement...the depiction of acts in a sensational manner so as to arouse a quick intense emotional reaction"
hmm...again, this is so misleading...because what if little johnny has a thing for shoes so he goes online and finds ads for women's shoes....and he jerks off to them or just gets aroused...for him, that is "porn" in a sense...granted those ads may not intend to stimulate one's arousal, but c'mon...the people who put those together do so with an eye for what will most likely appeal...if they were just selling the shoe, it wouldnt matter what the foot wearing the shoe looked like, right?...so why not some dirty, cracked feet?...oh no, they must be slender, with toe nails just right (either painted or unpainted) and (in most cases) feature a slender ankle that implies a whole lot more leg above it...and even give way to an imagined hem line of a skirt...
hmm...so, perhaps not direct, blatant, in-your-face porn...but it could be to little johnny who is out there slinging his dick with his hand while his eyes glaze over in bliss..
i know, i know...the whole issue of pornography is that it is obvious and created with a deliberate intent to arouse...what then of unintentional porn?...
something that is so fucking arousing that you cant stand it...you have to have it...yet...was not originally intended to be so stimulating...something that you didn't notice at first glance perhaps...but something made you take a second look...and the longer your attention is focused on this strange, but exciting diversion the more heightened your senses become...your entire body slowly becomes consumed by it...until nothing else matters...just this one moment of unintentional arousal...that both is and isnt porn...
or something like that..
cg
then i got really lazy, yawned, fluttered my eyelids and just googled "porn"...
"creative activity (writing or pictures or films etc.) of no literary or artistic value other than to stimulate sexual desire"...
now that sounds simple enough, right?...er, not really...at least not in my book...because the big glitch in this definition is "of no literary or artistic value"...so, um, who gets to decide the literary or artistic value of anything?...and why cant something be both artistic and appeal to one's sexual desire?...
so i went off searching again...
"the depiction of erotic behavior (as in pictures or writing) intended to cause sexual excitement...
material (as books or a photograph) that depicts erotic behavior and is intended to cause sexual excitement...the depiction of acts in a sensational manner so as to arouse a quick intense emotional reaction"
hmm...again, this is so misleading...because what if little johnny has a thing for shoes so he goes online and finds ads for women's shoes....and he jerks off to them or just gets aroused...for him, that is "porn" in a sense...granted those ads may not intend to stimulate one's arousal, but c'mon...the people who put those together do so with an eye for what will most likely appeal...if they were just selling the shoe, it wouldnt matter what the foot wearing the shoe looked like, right?...so why not some dirty, cracked feet?...oh no, they must be slender, with toe nails just right (either painted or unpainted) and (in most cases) feature a slender ankle that implies a whole lot more leg above it...and even give way to an imagined hem line of a skirt...
hmm...so, perhaps not direct, blatant, in-your-face porn...but it could be to little johnny who is out there slinging his dick with his hand while his eyes glaze over in bliss..
i know, i know...the whole issue of pornography is that it is obvious and created with a deliberate intent to arouse...what then of unintentional porn?...
something that is so fucking arousing that you cant stand it...you have to have it...yet...was not originally intended to be so stimulating...something that you didn't notice at first glance perhaps...but something made you take a second look...and the longer your attention is focused on this strange, but exciting diversion the more heightened your senses become...your entire body slowly becomes consumed by it...until nothing else matters...just this one moment of unintentional arousal...that both is and isnt porn...
or something like that..
cg
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
reader's choice
i was thinking...it might be interesting to do a post based on questions from you guys...this is just a concept atm, it will depend on how many of you actually participate...if i only get two or three questions, then that would be silly...
how about this...i will give everyone two weeks (or so) to come up with some questions...here's what you can do:
1. come up with no more than five questions (they do not have to be sexually oriented - they can just be things you are curious about or perhaps something i have mentioned and you have a question)
2. all questions should be emailed to me (your email will not be revealed - have no fears/concerns)
3. when you send the questions, let me know how to credit you - for example, you can list your blogger name or if you want, i can just put anonymous or whatever alias you prefer...
in theory, this should be fun, but it really depends on you guys...dont be afraid, send me your questions...i cannot guarantee an answer to every question, but i will certainly do my best!
cg
how about this...i will give everyone two weeks (or so) to come up with some questions...here's what you can do:
1. come up with no more than five questions (they do not have to be sexually oriented - they can just be things you are curious about or perhaps something i have mentioned and you have a question)
2. all questions should be emailed to me (your email will not be revealed - have no fears/concerns)
3. when you send the questions, let me know how to credit you - for example, you can list your blogger name or if you want, i can just put anonymous or whatever alias you prefer...
in theory, this should be fun, but it really depends on you guys...dont be afraid, send me your questions...i cannot guarantee an answer to every question, but i will certainly do my best!
cg
tmi tuesday #184
1. Have you ever had angry sex?
hmm...interestingly enough, no i havent...but i do fantasize about it...
2. Pity sex?
oh yes...twice...actually, i thought maybe it would be good...but it was too emotional from the other end so i ended up feeling distanced from it altogether...a very strange feeling...
3. "Oh, well, I might as well" sex?
once...i have this impulsive streak that i try really hard to suppress...dont ask...just of one of my many idiosyncracies...
4. One-of-you-knew-it-was-goodbye-and-the-other-didnt sex?
nope
5. Don't remember having it sex?
nope...at least i dont think so...;)
6. Regret-it-afterward sex?
no...i dont believe in regretting things...i imagine how things would be if i would have made different choices...but what's done is done...all i can do is learn from it...or at least try...
7. Can't remember his/her name sex?
nope
8. Never knew his/her name sex?
nope
Bonus: Worst single sexual experience of your life?
other than that really awkward first sex?...hmm...i guess that would be it...it was terrible...lol...just really bad...i think i posted about it once a long time ago...
there were a lot of no's on the that list...but then again, i dont do the whole "what's your name?" sex thing...just doesnt work for me...
cg
on to other things
about a week or so ago i was chatting online with an old friend...and, being so extraordinarily aroused, i found myself squirming and rubbing my pussy against the bed...i was feeling impulsive and terribly horny so i even took a couple of pics and sent them his way...it's been years since i've seen him, but i still remember his smell very vividly...
the orgasms...oh wow...they were so intense...i normally dont cry out in loud moans...i tend to "whimper" more than anything else i think...damn, i make myself sound like a puppy...totally not sexy...anyhow, these took such hold over me that for a moment i forgot where i was and what i was doing...completely transported by these waves of pleasure...
the next night, it was the same thing...that's the thing...the older i get, the more powerful my orgasms become...ten years ago when i was in my early twenties, i was easily aroused like i am now, but with nowhere near the intensity...
i guess i am climbing the mountain towards my sexual peak, lol....someday...
cg
the orgasms...oh wow...they were so intense...i normally dont cry out in loud moans...i tend to "whimper" more than anything else i think...damn, i make myself sound like a puppy...totally not sexy...anyhow, these took such hold over me that for a moment i forgot where i was and what i was doing...completely transported by these waves of pleasure...
the next night, it was the same thing...that's the thing...the older i get, the more powerful my orgasms become...ten years ago when i was in my early twenties, i was easily aroused like i am now, but with nowhere near the intensity...
i guess i am climbing the mountain towards my sexual peak, lol....someday...
cg
Monday, April 27, 2009
things you probably wish i wouldnt talk about...
for some reason men dont really like women discussing certain aspects of their gender...i am talking about periods...a while back i briefly made reference to a certain problem i have been having...a lot of women feel pain on their ovaries when they ovulate...i didnt used to, but i have within the last several years...however, i also get pain on my ovary during my period...and it is very very painful but not typical for me...when it happened last, i went to the doctor...said my hormones were so out of whack but didnt see anything major...gave me lots of advice to help prevent it/deal with it...(none of which i followed, i kept saying i would but then time suddenly flew by and here we are again)
i knew this one would be really bad because, like the last really bad one about six or so months ago, my breasts hurt for an entire month leading up to it...they hurt so bad that i couldnt sleep...i actually had to "ice" them down in bed one night...then my libido was crazy...i was so incredibly horny i didnt know what to do...normally, right before my period i get more easily aroused anyhow, but this time was...wow...the orgasms were through the roof...even though it was a great feeling, i was dreading that time when it would be over and my period would come...i knew it would be bad....
and it was...but i am now following "dr's orders" so we'll see how it all goes...
men have no idea how strange it is to have a terrible headache, have bad cramping, ovary in pain, feel incredibly horny and aroused, and have your boobs hurt like hell...
no idea...
cg
i knew this one would be really bad because, like the last really bad one about six or so months ago, my breasts hurt for an entire month leading up to it...they hurt so bad that i couldnt sleep...i actually had to "ice" them down in bed one night...then my libido was crazy...i was so incredibly horny i didnt know what to do...normally, right before my period i get more easily aroused anyhow, but this time was...wow...the orgasms were through the roof...even though it was a great feeling, i was dreading that time when it would be over and my period would come...i knew it would be bad....
and it was...but i am now following "dr's orders" so we'll see how it all goes...
men have no idea how strange it is to have a terrible headache, have bad cramping, ovary in pain, feel incredibly horny and aroused, and have your boobs hurt like hell...
no idea...
cg
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Saturday, April 4, 2009
bringin' sexy back
a friend of mine has asked on several occasions...how do i talk to women...and keep their attention??...countless blogs have addressed the topic of what makes someone/something sexy...and that's all fine and dandy...but what about those out there who really want to know how to be sexy...instead of telling them what to do, perhaps we should focus on what NOT to do...
ready, boys and girls?
* a good black (not faded!) shirt goes a long way and can go virtually anywhere...black has a way of making both sexes look neat and clean and the added bonus of taking attention away from what you are wearing...when you wear black top, suddenly people are looking more at your face instead of thinking "um, what in the world does he have on??"...
* smell good!...it does not have to be an expensive cologne, but for heaven's sake, do not bathe in the scent or it will have the total reverse effect...there are several body washes out there for men that have a nice, clean, masculine scent it you dont want to over do it...i know several women who will actually salivate if the scent is right...and it's different for every woman...smell good and chances are she will find herself wanting to get closer to you just to smell you even more...
* make good eye contact and keep your hands to yourself!...men make the mistake of making physical contact too soon and it can be annoying to women (even though we try not to show it)...watch for cues...she will tilt her head, flip her hair a little, and keep her eyes on yours...if her eyes wander, she's not interested...
* be gracious...it's okay so stop by and say hi, make eye contact ( to let her know you interested) , but do not hang around like a tree monkey...also, do not take your whole posse over to the girl...be a man, show her that you are okay going solo to test the waters in front of her friends and then let her know that you recognize she is out with friends (if that is the case) and tell her you will stop by later...women dont expect this and it piques their interest...
* know when to fold'em....if she is not interested, extend your hand with a warm smile and tell her to have a nice evening....granted, this works down here in the south and i've been told that up north they arent as comfortable with the touching part, it's up to you how to carry it out...
* have no expectations...dont go out with a goal in mind...your only goal is to enjoy yourself...no matter where you go...whether to dinner, movies, museum, bar...you will spend too much time wondering the withertos and whyfors that the day will be gone and you will have wasted your time...
more next time!
(i'd love to hear what the other women have to say on this!!)
cg
ready, boys and girls?
* a good black (not faded!) shirt goes a long way and can go virtually anywhere...black has a way of making both sexes look neat and clean and the added bonus of taking attention away from what you are wearing...when you wear black top, suddenly people are looking more at your face instead of thinking "um, what in the world does he have on??"...
* smell good!...it does not have to be an expensive cologne, but for heaven's sake, do not bathe in the scent or it will have the total reverse effect...there are several body washes out there for men that have a nice, clean, masculine scent it you dont want to over do it...i know several women who will actually salivate if the scent is right...and it's different for every woman...smell good and chances are she will find herself wanting to get closer to you just to smell you even more...
* make good eye contact and keep your hands to yourself!...men make the mistake of making physical contact too soon and it can be annoying to women (even though we try not to show it)...watch for cues...she will tilt her head, flip her hair a little, and keep her eyes on yours...if her eyes wander, she's not interested...
* be gracious...it's okay so stop by and say hi, make eye contact ( to let her know you interested) , but do not hang around like a tree monkey...also, do not take your whole posse over to the girl...be a man, show her that you are okay going solo to test the waters in front of her friends and then let her know that you recognize she is out with friends (if that is the case) and tell her you will stop by later...women dont expect this and it piques their interest...
* know when to fold'em....if she is not interested, extend your hand with a warm smile and tell her to have a nice evening....granted, this works down here in the south and i've been told that up north they arent as comfortable with the touching part, it's up to you how to carry it out...
* have no expectations...dont go out with a goal in mind...your only goal is to enjoy yourself...no matter where you go...whether to dinner, movies, museum, bar...you will spend too much time wondering the withertos and whyfors that the day will be gone and you will have wasted your time...
more next time!
(i'd love to hear what the other women have to say on this!!)
cg
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
ear candy #2
and because i am magically retarded you can still only see half the box...but that's where the real fun is, boys and girls!...it's like a maze and you are the mouse...and i get to sit back and laugh like this "muahahahaha!"...take a look at the new (at not-so-new) songs...what can you tell about me based on my little selection this time??...
cg
cg
a special suit?
this is an absofuckinlutely true story...a friend of mine was having the "talk" with her prepubescent son...she and her husband gave the short story about sex and emphasized the "date n' wait" policy regarding sex but did say that if/when he decides to have sex he should always use protection...sounds simple right?....WRONG...
they used the ridiculous word "rubbers" when referring to "protection"...they probably said "you want to keep your willy away from the girl's hoo-ha at all times so that it doesnt get sick, but if you want to risk it, you should use some special protection called a rubber..."
after a long dramatic pause the thoroughly confused pre-teen asks "so, is that like a special suit or something that i have to wear??"...
...
doh!...and do they correct him??...nope...she nods her head vehemently and says "that's right!...and when you are ready for that step, you let me know and i will take you the store to get fitted for it!"...
now, as funny as that is, why do we insist on raising sexually ignorant children...this boy is going to go off to middle school/jr high or whatever and have incorrect information...he will probably tell the girl she wont get pregnant if he wears a suit, so he's going to rent a tux to be extra protected...
parents are so afraid of talking about all things sexual with their children that they miss one very important point...if you dont tell them the right information, they will stumble through life on the wrong information...
hell, i never even got the "talk"...my mother was so petrified of anything remotely sexual that she covered my eyes at the movie theater during the shower scene for "footloose"...it was just a few rear ends...
now, i envision the child of my friend walking around in a giant body-size condom...whoa...trippy...
cg
they used the ridiculous word "rubbers" when referring to "protection"...they probably said "you want to keep your willy away from the girl's hoo-ha at all times so that it doesnt get sick, but if you want to risk it, you should use some special protection called a rubber..."
after a long dramatic pause the thoroughly confused pre-teen asks "so, is that like a special suit or something that i have to wear??"...
...
doh!...and do they correct him??...nope...she nods her head vehemently and says "that's right!...and when you are ready for that step, you let me know and i will take you the store to get fitted for it!"...
now, as funny as that is, why do we insist on raising sexually ignorant children...this boy is going to go off to middle school/jr high or whatever and have incorrect information...he will probably tell the girl she wont get pregnant if he wears a suit, so he's going to rent a tux to be extra protected...
parents are so afraid of talking about all things sexual with their children that they miss one very important point...if you dont tell them the right information, they will stumble through life on the wrong information...
hell, i never even got the "talk"...my mother was so petrified of anything remotely sexual that she covered my eyes at the movie theater during the shower scene for "footloose"...it was just a few rear ends...
now, i envision the child of my friend walking around in a giant body-size condom...whoa...trippy...
cg
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