new post on curiosities

the devaluation of american children

cg

may i have a glass of whine, please?

not whining, really...just twisted the wrong way (hmm...so which is the correct way to twisted oneself when exiting a vehicle??)...trying to rush out to avoid the deluge of H2O that was weeping from the smoke-colored clouds crowding overhead...and did i succeed?...of course not...i was wearing a dark pink top (which is NOT see-through)...however, once you become utterly drenched, guess what happens?...yep, suddenly it's grossly obvious that i have on a black bra underneath because i hear co-workers say "i can see your black bra! it's so pretty!"...

...

doh!...i feel the flames of mortification crawl under my skin and fan out all over my chest, neck, and face...i get the looks of "icantbelievesheswearingablackbrawithapinkshirt!"...bite me!...go fuck yourself while i laugh when you cant find your honey pot and you cry like a little baby because you cant get no satisfaction!...

so that was a wee bit dramatic...anyhow...soaking wet, twisted back, and dreary day...yep...where is that glass of wine...

guess a nice cup of hot tea will do...i have a lovely pomegranate tea...

and i'm chilled from in and out of the rain today so my nipples are like hard rocks...just need to get cozy in bed and wave a hand to the rest of the world...

cg

undercover lovers report

title sounds exciting, huh?...actually this is just a quick listing of the searches people use to find this blog...check it out:

"sexy growling guys"

"your clit is huge"

"porn curiosities"

"men make funny sounds when they cum"

"sexy woman make me crazy"

so there ya have it...the circuitous route people travel to this blog...

if you are one of the ones that used those searches, i hope you found something interesting to read and if not then keep searching til ya find what you are looking for...

i always wonder how people find their ways here...a curiosity...

cg

not as bad as last weekend

no, i didnt crawl to bed with my pants falling behind me...i did better :)

anyhow, once again we ran into the "bamas" (we do that every so often which is odd because they travel a lot and are extremely mobile)...they throw back their beers like the world is about to end and they want to imbibe as much bud light as they can...then they wonder "man, i must be tired i think i'm getting drunk"...hmm...could the fact that you have had 4 beers in the last 30 minutes be a contributing factor?...that and you just keep going at that pace?...

but an interesting factoid emerged...another night little cg and i had gone out and met up with 2 of the 'bamas (i think there are like 4 or 5 of them? maybe?) and then towards the end of the night, one of them seemed to just take off and left the other one stranded (i wanna say that i blogged about this when it happened but i spent a few minutes looking for it and said fuck it, if you are that curious go do your own damn scavenger hunt!)

we were pissed because we had to take his fucking ass home...he called his friend and his friend "supposedly" left and wasnt coming back for him...i say "supposedly" because the friend that left him was one of the 'bamas we ran into last night and his version of the story was a teeny bit different...

his story: "he told me to leave that he was going home with ya'll...and now i hear that he made me to look like the bad guy!...he's a damn liar is what he is"...

hmm...interesting...but, we arent stupid girls...we dont always make the smartest choices, but we are not THAT stupid and we just took that other guy home that night...oh, he asked lil cg if he could come home and she said "hell no! we'll take you home and drop you off"

ah, what a night...football, friends, and OB...

cg

meet the female hormones

i was feelin' frisky but oddly sad and whiny...fuck, it's hard being a female with raging hormones...it's like a woman's body is a playground and all her hormones are all these problem kids...

over in the corner is Sad Sally...yeah, she cries all the time and doesnt know why...poor Sally...she wants to smile and stop crying but when anyone asks her if she's okay she just throws herself to the ground and boo hoos like a big fat baby...

on the swings are the twins...Temper and Tantrum...oh, they are cute and cuddly, but beware...they BITE!...you even THINK about saying no or stop and they will scream, yell, kick, scratch, and claw their way out of the word "no"....dont believe me?...go ahead...just say "hi" and see what happens...

standing at the steps to the slide is Pensive Polly....she overthinks so much that by the time she decides to actually take a step up the slide she's forgotten why the fuck she wanted to get up the slide in the first place, after all what's so fun about sliding on your ass??...she should have just gone to take a nap...no one understands her anyway...

laying on the picnic table is Dozing Darlene...Darlene just needs a little nappy wappy to make herself feel better...she doesnt understand it because she gets plenty of sleep the night before, but sometimes she gets sooo incredibly exhausted that her eyes begin to close and before she knows it she is fast asleep...

and hiding underneath the picnic table is Munching Maria...damn that girl can eat!...she munches and crunches and munches and crunches...then she talks to Sad Sally about it and they cry together...

humping the horse on the carousel is Horny Helen...she just cant get enough (know the song??)...but she only wants it when she wants it...doesnt make sense but sometimes she's super horny and wants it BAD...then suddenly...she doesnt want it anymore...she learned it was easier to just invest in a few "accessories" so that she can attend to her needs when SHE feels like it...

of course, off to the side in her EMO-tastic ensemble is Angry Arneth (wouldn't you be angry if you were named Arneth??...and if you are...um...i'm sorry i used your name...it's really quite unique!)...she is angry, vicious, and sneaky...she will cut you up into teensy weensy widdle pieces before you know it!...it's always your fault, just remember that when you deal with Arneth...

now that you've met the crew, just remember...they have LOTS of friends....they will cut a bitch without thinking twice...and then cry about it over a junk food festival before fucking some guy they may or may not know...then fall asleep and do it all over again...

cg

hibernation is over

evidently i was in hibernation over the summer since i didnt blog...and looks like some people are gone...*sighs*...ah well...i hadnt intended to leave for so long but after a while a few days turns into a few weeks and then a few months and then the "where are you??" questions pop up from here and there...

i know there are a couple of you that still check here every so often so...here i am!!...

on a personal side...i have been helping a friend who is very very ill...we knew she was ill but things are winding down rapidly...it's been hard because it brings back memories of my father since it is getting closer to that time...

anyhow, i went out last weekend for the first time in months...seriously...i was so drunk i had to CRAWL to bed with my pants falling off me as i stumbled like a toddler to my room...you know you have had waay too much to drink the night before when you wake up to pee and realize...hey, why does my pee sound funny??...oh...yeah...because sometime in the night i dropped the entire roll of TOILET PAPER into the toilet...dont ask...see..this is why i love you...because i can share such moments of damn-that-was-stupid and you wont hate me or call me terrible names...

funny part about going out that night...the bartenders were asking us..where have you been?...we thought you'd moved away??...yep...that's right...they missed us!...

i was taking my first shot of the night when my throat closed up and i thought...how do you swallow again??...you laugh, but it's true! ...i nearly gagged on it at first....way out of practice i suppose...

little cg was mortified when i talked about my dildo and how i didnt like the smell of it..."i dont want to know you have those things!"....um...yeah...this coming from the girl who tells me "it wasnt very big but he knew how to use it!"...or..."this one time we were having sex and we fell off the bed"...but heaven help her if i mention anything sexually related regarding myself...but, i do keep that part pretty private and always have...

still...kinda funny....

in other funny news...bi-guy needs a couple of new toys evidently because his MELTED together in some funky chemical reaction...hehehehe...i told him i would post it on here....he says he's kinda disappointed because he's really been experimenting with it and enjoys it....when he's in the mood for a good prostate tickle ;)...

i hope everyone is well...the only ones i've really heard from at all have been aneris and merlin/nimue from petitemorte...ta-ta!

cg