Friday, October 23, 2009

meet the female hormones

i was feelin' frisky but oddly sad and whiny...fuck, it's hard being a female with raging hormones...it's like a woman's body is a playground and all her hormones are all these problem kids...

over in the corner is Sad Sally...yeah, she cries all the time and doesnt know why...poor Sally...she wants to smile and stop crying but when anyone asks her if she's okay she just throws herself to the ground and boo hoos like a big fat baby...

on the swings are the twins...Temper and Tantrum...oh, they are cute and cuddly, but beware...they BITE!...you even THINK about saying no or stop and they will scream, yell, kick, scratch, and claw their way out of the word "no"....dont believe me?...go ahead...just say "hi" and see what happens...

standing at the steps to the slide is Pensive Polly....she overthinks so much that by the time she decides to actually take a step up the slide she's forgotten why the fuck she wanted to get up the slide in the first place, after all what's so fun about sliding on your ass??...she should have just gone to take a nap...no one understands her anyway...

laying on the picnic table is Dozing Darlene...Darlene just needs a little nappy wappy to make herself feel better...she doesnt understand it because she gets plenty of sleep the night before, but sometimes she gets sooo incredibly exhausted that her eyes begin to close and before she knows it she is fast asleep...

and hiding underneath the picnic table is Munching Maria...damn that girl can eat!...she munches and crunches and munches and crunches...then she talks to Sad Sally about it and they cry together...

humping the horse on the carousel is Horny Helen...she just cant get enough (know the song??)...but she only wants it when she wants it...doesnt make sense but sometimes she's super horny and wants it BAD...then suddenly...she doesnt want it anymore...she learned it was easier to just invest in a few "accessories" so that she can attend to her needs when SHE feels like it...

of course, off to the side in her EMO-tastic ensemble is Angry Arneth (wouldn't you be angry if you were named Arneth??...and if you are...um...i'm sorry i used your name...it's really quite unique!)...she is angry, vicious, and sneaky...she will cut you up into teensy weensy widdle pieces before you know it!...it's always your fault, just remember that when you deal with Arneth...

now that you've met the crew, just remember...they have LOTS of friends....they will cut a bitch without thinking twice...and then cry about it over a junk food festival before fucking some guy they may or may not know...then fall asleep and do it all over again...

cg

3 curious people say...:

comfydildo said...

If you haven't had a chance to read my blog because I was a moron and didn't add you when I went private or some shit like that, I now am involved with another girl. No sex, we don't need that drama right now in grad school.

Anyhow all these little ladies are why I love my "Bella" so much. I get to be there for all of them and we just get each other in ways her "Bear" and my "Darling" never will. The beauty of it is that we never have to explain our seeming irrationality to one another. We're there on a daily basis for each other to eat, whine, and giggle ourselves silly.

curiousgirl said...

@comfy - wow, that is a lot of news!...it sounds like you are happy and at peace...(you'll have to fill me in the deets later via email or chat sometime when you have a spare second)

cg

petitemort said...

Having had some experience with woman-woman relationships (not with Nimue; this came mush earlier), my observation is that sometimes the serendipity that comfy described prevails, and other times some of those alternate personalities clash and World War III results. Comfy, I hope the latter doesn't happen to you. cg, a wise man (or woman) will wait to see which of those personas is at the fore during any encounter before responding.