Tuesday, October 28, 2008

TMI Tuesday #158 - Firsts!!!

TMI Tuesday

First names and approximate age is fine too many of you aren't anonymous and too many of you wish to stay anonymous.

1. Who and when was your first crush?

my first crush was a boy in my kindergarten class named danny...*sighs*...he was sooo cute with his blue jean jacket...

2. Who and when was your first date?

my first date...lol...i was in the eighth grade...his name was robert...and it was a school dance...we met in the school cafeteria and he had a flower for me...but we didnt dance until the end because all the boys were on one side and all the girls were on the other...lol...it was funny tho...and at the end he walked me to my parents' car and gave me a kiss...it was sweet...

3. Who and when was your first kiss?

does the answer to #3 count??

4. Who and when was your first partner while "fooling around" in car?

his name was tim...we were both 18....and i didnt have a single clue he liked me until other people pointed it out...he was driving me home from the movies one night...and we spent some time in the parking lot...then there was "lovers' lane"...yes, where i come from there is an actual "lovers' lane"...it is a street that dead ends into a duck pond...oh, that brings back so many memories...

5. Who and when was your first partner while "fooling around" in a house?

hell, i dont think i can remember that one...must not have been a good experience! lol

6. Who and when was your first love?

ben...i still remember the last time i saw him...although, i dont know what kind of love it was, really...

Bonus: Who's blog did you first comment on?

it was a long time ago and i dont think they keep it up anymore...sharingdee...anyone remember that blog?...

happy tuesday!

cg

Sunday, October 26, 2008

tease and denial

i read a recent post over at bdenied that invited me to take a closer look on my evolving view of all things sexual...he essentially explained the difference between tease and denial and flat out denial...

and he summed it up pretty well...

a part of me has always been intrigued by this sort of sexual play, even though i did not fully understand what i was doing or follow through most of the time...i just knew that some things just didnt work as far as turning me on...

example: soldier boy, while sweet and kind, would sometimes try "dirty talk" with me...but calling me a "slut" had me disinterested and bored...not angry or irritated...BORED...he would immediately gauge my disinterest..."i can tell you didnt like that"...

example: trying to get me to say/do things i do not want to do lowers my arousal to almost nothing...i know for some, that coercion factor can be a great sexual ploy...but for me it wasnt...i became that woman that just wants to hurry up and get it over with...it was unthrilling...and maybe that is why so many women do move to this place...because they are in sexual relationships that are not fulfilling all their needs...not just physical...maybe because they dont know what they need and only think that they do...

i had, however, been in a very brief relationship (which i have mentioned before) maybe two or three years ago (probably closer to three) when i was with a male nurse who really enjoyed a more forceful female...now here i got a serious thrill...he had obviously been experienced with a dominant woman...sometimes, i would tease him and not let him cum...i would tell him not to touch himself for long periods of time and he ENJOYED this...and so did i...i would just tell him "you cant touch yourself, because i'm not ready"....or..."you cant cum until i tell you to"...

had i always been this way?...i'll admit, in the past i had toyed with the tease and denial but i was not experienced enough and i think most men in general arent prepared to allow a woman with that kind of control sexually...

men want women to be free sexually, but they dont always realize that for some of us, to be free sexually, is to be allowed to take control...to dictate and to give their partner the gift of being able to let go...i do not like being controlled sexually...it does nothing for me...my thoughts drift to the non-sexual and i lose interest...fast...

what drives me in the tease/denial is that i enjoy pushing that other person to certain places they would not normally consider...i know how aroused they become and that makes me even more aroused myself...i want them to feel sexually stimulated to a breaking point where they cant think...where they are in it to see just how far they can go...

i know that i am setting the pace for their sexual energy to blossom...and i know that i can control how high and low the energy will hum...

for both of us...

cg

Saturday, October 25, 2008

what turns you on?

as i lay here in bed nursing a wee hangover, i find myself flipping through movies (gotta love youtube)...and i landed on a clip from "braveheart" with mel gibson...and i think to myself, why does a scottish accent always make me grin from ear to ear?...

it isnt mel gibson that i'm hot after...he's alright...it's the accent of all those scotsman in the movie...

that led me to the question: what turns people on and why?...alright, so that's two questions..but you get the idea...

for me...

it's the way a man uses his hands...

his dark eyes...

his quiet voice...

the way a man uses his mind...

the way he lets me lead...

the way he lets me follow...

the way he never gives up on me...

the way he learns to let go of me...

the way he holds me when he knows i'm scared...

the way he pushes me when i cant push myself...

and all this without a single touch...

what turns you on...and why...

cg

EDIT: okay, so i just watched james mcavoy interviews...wowsa...his accent...but he has blue eyes...eh...maybe i'll make an exception...lol...

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

the origins of sexual curiosity

curiosity, is innate...children are born with a desire to question and learn about their environment..so when does this curiosity shift towards the sexual?...or is it always there, hidden in the unknown realm of our inner being?...

i remember my mother remarking on my own personal curiosities...just typical things, i suppose...but i have read of others whose own sexual interests began we before hormones and such began kicking in...although i had an early sexual experience that was not of my own choice, i often wonder if my curiosities are a result of that experience or if the curiosities would still be present irregardless?...

i remember, once, finding a book that my parents got as a "bonus" through purchasing these children's bible stories books or something...it was called "to have and to hold"...i remember my mother flipping through it and somehow it ended up in a box in the garage...

i picked that book up one day and was mesmerized by what i saw...there were a lot of words (that i did not bother to read) and some pictures (not real, just images) of men and women in various sexual activities...the book was supposed to support a healthy sexual relationship between married couples...

over the years, i would periodically run into that book and my father's Playboy mags and i was so enthralled by the images...they were utterly fascinating...and i was curious to know more about the people who shared their bodies with the world...

what about your origins of sexual curiosity?...

cg

Monday, October 20, 2008

TMI Tuesday #157

TMI Tuesday #157

TMI Tuesday

1. Have you ever felt guilty or ashamed after a sexual experience?

yes...the first time i had sex...my religious upbringing...i felt like i was "sinning"...and the first time wasnt even that great...lol...

2. Did you ever own a fake ID?

oh, hell no...i used to think those were only in the movies...

3. How often do you tell white lies? Is it with or without thinking?

i am a woman...we tell white lies ALL THE TIME...and if you are a woman and you say you dont...you LIE!...honestly, though...we lie to ourselves most often...

4. On a scale of 1-10, how well do you receive constructive criticism?

i am more critical of myself than anyone else could be...but i will admit that i do get prickly at times when i dont want to hear it, realize that it is true, or if it comes from someone whose opinion really matters to me...

5. Have you ever shaved your pubic hair?

silly question..

Bonus: What percentage of women do you think are capable of handling being in a "friends with benefits" relationship? How about men?

that is a tough one...i think more women could do it if they really wanted to, but i do think it is easier for most men...percentages?...i hate numbers...let's say 30 percent of women and 68 percent of men...

cg

skim, 2%, or white russian?

seems that the topic for today in the blogosphere has been vanilla sex talk with both percy and miss i making references to it in their blogs...so it got me thinking...how vanilla can a person get...and i have come up with a handy-dandy reference chart for those times you are in bed with your SO (sexual other) and wondering..."what is vanilla sex??"

here we go!

Skim milk - this is the barest of the bare...we are talking no love words or sex talk, no foreplay, just push up the old lady's flannel nightgown, stroke a couple of times, cum once then roll over and snore...this is ALWAYS missionary position....there is NEVER oral sex or any kind of holding or kissing...porn is a four letter word here...masturbation what??...

2% milk - this is a for those totally Christian lovers that hold true to their church's teachings (do NOT send in hater-ade comments, we are all here to learn - even you Bible humpers, er, thumpers...this category is for those that do enjoy kissing and some amounts of holding...married women of thirty years will reach for their husband's schtick only if they have to...they may TRY an alternate sexual position...MAYBE doggie-style...there may be some soft words in the "afterglow", but nothing risque...porn is still a four-letter word but you KNOW he secretly checks out porn while at the office at work or when wifey isnt home or asleep in bed...and he jacks off when he can...she might, too, but not too often...oral sex happens once in a very blue moon...when the moon is as blue as his balls...

whole milk - here is where things will get a little more interesting...we are still very much in the realm of vanilla, but this couple will check out porn together...nothing too heavy and never anything kinky...just straight up couples fucking (although he will definitely check out tons of other kinky shit when she isnt around)...they are okay with masturbating in front of each other and they enjoy oral sex...they will opt for missionary, doggie, 69, cowgirl/reverse cowgirl...that is kinky for them...he is still the one in control for the most part...we begin to see a few sex toys in a special box...

baileys on the rocks - now we are skirting the edges of vanilla...this is where there are blurring of lines...this is where some edge play takes place...they experiment in some role play, maybe a role reversal where she is taking the lead...this couple has a modest assortment of sexual accessories...he may even be interested in some anal stimulation...there may be light bondage and some definite talks of more intense fetishes or fantasies...they may toy with the idea of a sexually open relationship, but chances are, this is just a part of the fantasy mode because they really arent up to this...this couple has definite streaks of exhibitionism...they are just one more splash of baileys away from having an open relationship...

bailey's and kahlua - they have taken things to a new level...they are open sexually to a point (this isnt about cuckolding...yet...that will be more kahlua and less bailey's lol...) and they both enjoy more serious edge play...they dont have a toy box...they have a fucking closet...they enjoy vanilla sex, but they need more edgy activities here and there to keep things interesting...they enjoy pushing that envelope...their sexuality is not just an extention of their relationship...it reflects who they are...they are getting into darker realms with candlewax on the nipples, spankings, fucking in public places, the idea of getting caught is a big arousal factor at times...

white russian - this is it...this couple pushes the limits knowing that one day they may push too far, but they cant stop because they are so turned on by it...there is a huge emotional factor here...because they push to the limit but there is a concern at times that they are going to go too far...they have extensive sex accessories...they have invested time and money into their sexual actitivities and they may enjoy sex in front of others, cuckolding, orgasm withholding, CBT, heavier bondage, more intense spankings, etc...there may also be interests in humiliation...they may have a more permanent relationship with D/s or something along those lines...this is a part of who they are...it isnt just something that they play around with...it is real and not for plain milk drinkers...

did i leave anything out?...this was just a quick overview...so, where do you fall in line...i would LOVE to hear everyone's thoughts on this one...lol...

cg

Sunday, October 19, 2008

the return of EHB

just when i thought i was free from EHB a little bird flew into my life and said, "beware of the EHB!"...

so, evidently she has resorted to informing the entire family that we are not speaking to her because we are upset with her...

she said "cg and her sisters aren't talking to me, did you hear? *dramatic sigh from EHB* "they are mad at me, so since they wont speak to me and they left all their father's things at my house, everyone needs to come over and pick out what they want of [cg's dad]"...

the lying EHB!...and she has flown further off her rocker by alienating more of her siblings through her crazy antics...she evidently harassed one of my uncles at her sister's house...the other aunt (whose house they were all at) was told by her 20-something daughter of the harassment....when EHB was told she could not do that in her sister's house, EHB flared into hysterics and said that she wanted to know who was accusing her of such things...yeah, right, like the Nice Aunt is reallygoing to out her own daughter for EHB to tear into tiny bite-sized pieces!...

needless to say, EHB fled the house and it has been a source of tension since...

what goes around comes around, EHB...at least us girls had the courtesy and respect to simply let go and walk away...we never told anyone in the family except our mother...she assumes we told everyone else...that is GUILT eating you up...actually, i think she is terribly overextended over the last several years dealing with lots of family issues that she WILLINGLY took on...no one forced her to...she chose to make a martyr of herself...

anyhow, that was my little update!

cg

when i think about you i touch myself

sometimes the image a particular person comes unbidden to my mind for no particular reason...and i am suddenly filled with this intense sexual arousal...my body starts to undulate slowly and my thighs press together...i am overwhelmed by the scent of this person...i can still smell him after all this time...

images flood my brain, sending shock waves of desire to every pulsing part of my body...i lay there struggling to sleep but know that release can be my only path to night's sleep...

my senses are further stimulated by the scent of my arousal...i touch, taste, and smell myself...i twist, tease, and torment myself to a heightened state of sexual arousal...

i spread my lips and stretch myself...my fingers are completely drenched in my juices...i want it to last forever...

and then it ends it a tidal wave of convulsions...each leading to another and another...i lay there still shivering...before finally falling asleep...

cg

Thursday, October 16, 2008

"you can have my cherry"

i am babysitting for a friend tonight...her very precocious five-year-old sdaughter has told her mother AND father on more than one occasion over the years "cg has pretty bras, mom, you should go shopping with her and get some like hers!"...she has been with me when i have done my laundry and says "my mom needs bras like these! she only wears white ones"...

her father laughs and says "oh, really?"...it is an ongoing joke now that one of these days i will take my friend to get some bras that her husband will enjoy...

anyhow, tonight as we were driving in the car, she pipes up from her car seat in the back, "hey, will you tie a cherry stem in your mouth?...my mom and dad said that you know how"...

my sister quips "she doesnt have a cherry", to which sis and i both laugh...

we go to the restaurant for dinner and she asks the waiter for some cherries in a bowl...he sets them down and smiles at her "you must like cherries"...

to which she replies "they are for cg...she doesnt have a cherry and she needs one...here, cg, you can have my cherry...did you know she can tie a cherry stem in a knot with her mouth?...my dad says she can tie a DOUBLE knot in her mouth!"

ah, out of the mouths of babes...

cg

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

do football players use a dental dam??

before you even start with me, no, i most certainly did NOT ask that question...i can, however, state that i did hear several crickets after that question...

this morning as my sister was watching good morning america, she paid special attention to the part about the increase in oral cancers that are linked to the HPV...they are suggesting that there is an increase due to the fact that many people are engaging in unprotected oral sex...

anyhow, as we were in the car, she asks "i can see how you would use protection when going down on a guy, you'd use a condom or something, right?"...or something, lol...

yes, i told her, that is why they also suggest using a dental dam...she paused for a moment...

"do football players use a dental dam?...to protect their mouths when they play?"

...

after several long seconds, i felt i was calm enough that i would not start laughing at her and i exlained what it was that football players use and what a dental was....she was mortified...she said "i am so glad i asked you because i was going to ask New Guy if he used a dental dam when he played football!"

oh, boy...

cg

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

TMI Tuesday #156 - Foresight

TMI Tuesday

(in lieu of a "real" post, i thought i would try something a little different...i've read other blogs that participate and i thought it would be fun to do...let me know if you think i should keep doing this on tuesdays...here goes!)


1. What do you do that sends a clear signal to your partner that you're interested in an intimate evening?

hmm...that is a tough one...because i think i send opposite signals...confusing i know...but i am very orally fixated, being a talker and all, so i will lick my lips and make them more noticeable...i have been told that my eyes change color a little and my voice changes...

2. How important is foreplay to an exciting evening?

it is EVERYTHING!...i have learned to really extend the arousal time as much as possible...the orgasms are so much better...

3. What is the first thing you do during foreplay or what is the first thing you like done to you?

honestly, i love for my breasts to be played with ...but they are not super sensitive so they require a lot of attention...

4. Are you a one and done kind of partner (20 minutes or so) or do you like intimacy sessions longer than 60 minutes?

hmm...that depends...i am usually the type that wants to talk or rolls over and goes to sleep...the first guy i ever slept with used to want to talk...but i just wanted to sleep...lol

BONUS: If you are interested in sex with a same-sex partner, what would be the first thing you'd like to touch on that other person, and why? (For those already in same sex relationships...what was the first thing you touched, or if you were interested in a relationship with the opposite sex, what would be the first thing you touched?)

same-sex - breasts...well, because i like to touch my own lol

opposite sex - hands...i love the feel of solid hands...they always make me feel so ...small and vulnerable, yet i amazed at how strong they feel...the electricity that can be felt between two hands is incredible...


and that ends this week's TMI!

cg

Monday, October 13, 2008

the best part

about a close shave?...lathering on lovely smelling lotions or balms...my fingers smell of jasmine...the same jasmine i used to soothe my skin after i shave...damn, i wish i could lick myself to see how i taste right now at this moment....

hmm...do men ever feel that way when they shave their two bits?...i wonder...

cg

friday night lights (out)

i realized that i neglected to inform everyone of a mildly interesting event friday night...no, nothing remotely sexual...after dealing with the travails of womanly ails, my sister and i decided to have a little girls' night in...

we bought some wine and made a little picnic on her bed while we sat and watched terrible sci fi movies...do not EVER consume an entire bottle of wine in less than an hour...strange things happen....

we each had our own bottle of wine...but i was drinking a lovely red...in truth, i dont know what the fuck kind it was, i just liked the bottle...things got very funny and as i was shaking my head in laughter, my sister tipped my glass causing it to slosh around and spill onto my shirt...

or so we thought...

for some reason the ends of my ponytail were wet...and the back of my shirt had several wet spots...in my inebriation, i had splashed red wine all over her sheets and my shirt....with my hair...doh!...

she laughed and laughed so hard she fell off the bed with a THUMP!...i set my glass down on the chair next to her bed...."grab my hand! i'll save you!" i cry out as i extend my hand to the rolling girl on the floor...

"quick! take my hand! no! dont roll under the bed!"...suddenly i realize...i have to pee.."i'll be right back!"...off i race to the bathroom, not a moment to lose...hell, i had to pee AND i just spilled wine on my shirt...into the sink went the shirt where i let it soak over night ( yes, stains still there)...after taking care of business in the potty, i race back to my sister's bedroom...where she is STILL ON THE FLOOR...

yes, i saved her from the floor...and she was very grateful...until she saw the red spots on her pink sheets..."bitch! you spilled wine all over my bed!"..."wait! i have an idea!"...i stumble half blindly to the kitchen and found what i was looking for under the kitchen sink...without warning, i sprayed foaming carpet cleaner all over her bed...."what the hell are you doing?? that's carpet cleaner!!"...

oops...

for some reason i had the brilliant idea that a bottle of wine was sure to cure my sore throat...guess what...i woke up with my throat hurting worse than before...

moral of the story: a bottle of wine is no cure for a sore throat...

cg

Sunday, October 12, 2008

sing me a song

said musician when he called tonight...rather than get into a lengthy post about the conversation, here is our conversation as best as i can recall it...

musician: hey, sweetie, how you feelin'? (please note the west texas accent)

cg: good and yourself? (please note NO real texas accent - well, maybe just a little)

musician: i just wanted you to know that we came in second place tonight! (his blues band in some contest)

cg: really?? that's great! i bet you are so excited!

musician: yeah! hey, are you feeling alright there, sweetie? you sound a bit on the poor side.

cg: i wasnt feeling all that well this weekend - my throat was bothering me on friday and by saturday i was really not feeling well.

musician: oh, i am sorry to hear that. you need someone to make you a nice bit of hot soup and tuck you into bed (he chuckles)

cg: that is very sweet of you (laughs softly)

musician: (sighs) you sure do have the prettiest laugh - just so soft and sweet - and the voice of an angel (okay, so he's laying it on thick - but this is TEXAS ya'll!!)

cg: um, okay (laughs - what the hell do i say to that??)

musician: hey, listen, i am coming to your parts (of the state, people, get it straight!) next month and wanted to know if you wanted to hang out. i could help you with that song you've been working on (on my dad's guitar)

cg: that would have to depend on when you are coming into town...it's a really busy time...actually i need to get those strings you suggested.

musician: well, i could pick up the strings and put them on the guitar for you and get it tuned up real nice. maybe we could have a little jam session, you know i love to hear you sing.

cg: i havent sung in a very long time, you know that

musician: sweetie, your voice sends shivers down my spine. just hearing your voice is like a melody to my ears (laughs) i know, i probably sound stupid for saying it, but there it is.

cg: (laughs)

musician: i hear your voice and i can see your eyes, those beautiful expressive eyes that are always hiding something...i know, i know...we are supposed to be just friends...but you have to know how compelling they are.

cg: thank you for the compliment...i dont know what to say, to be honest

musician: nothing...anything...(laughs)...i dont know that i have ever encountered a woman quite like you, cg...i mean, you dont exactly let me come close at all....it's like you sit there, with that sweet voice and those big eyes and keep me at arm's length...is it just me?

cg: no, it is me...always has been...very few have gotten past this point...i did warn you....

the conversation is similar to so many others i have had over the years...i just cannot let anyone get too close...and i wish i knew why...i draws some in and irritates others...i have been accused of playing games...but it isnt that...they just dont understand...and i dont know if they ever will...

it's like the whole kissing post...everyone only commented on how i was denying myself pleasure and what not...when that isnt the point...or maybe it is...i dont know....maybe it is a very intense form of introversion...bleh...

ding dong, therapy calling!

cg

sexy math

once again, tom has managed to make me fall over with laughter...and twist my head in confusion...tom, where in the world do you find this stuf???...

who knew math could be so sexy...

cg

Saturday, October 11, 2008

phallic desires

no, i am not talking about myself...rather a male friend of mine who has been struggling with his sexual orientation for a very long time...and i truly feel for him...he was once engaged to someone he thought he love with all his heart...but even then...tiny seeds of doubt were being sown...

some days he was haunted by thoughts of cock lodged in his mouth as the warm taste of cum poured past his lips...he kept his thoughts private for so long...when the relationship ended (she cheated on him), he was overwhelmed with thoughts of love lost and his sexual urges that it sent him into a downward spiral of depression...

as the years went by, he settled unconsciously into a cycle of "i want a cock in my mouth" to "fuck that, i am not into guys at all...it was just a phase"...two years ago when we first met, i was the first one he opened up to about his desires....they plagued him constantly...no matter his urge, be it men or woman, i was supportive and listened to him spill the convoluted workings of his mind...

even when he found a woman that he felt a good connection with, there were still times when he would masturbate to the fantasy of giving head to a "sweet boi"...at one point, he even bought a dildo to practice his oral desires...then, in a moment of panic, he threw it away...

when he speaks of his lust for another man, he sounds very heavy with sexual desire...almost overwhelmed with the wave of passion that builds...then, by the next day, he almost ashamed of his thoughts and says "i am over it...i want a wife and a family"...even when i suggest that he find an open-minded woman...that his sexuality does not necessarily have to mean that he cannot be a father...the two are unrelated, he shakes his head and the sound of a heavy metal door slams shut on the things that he truly wants...

i know that when he is in a gay-men-are-fags-i-want-to-fuck-a-woman mode, he does NOT want to talk about his sexuality...

some days he fears that people can sense his bi-curiosity...sometimes i just want to tell him to get over himself...but i dont...i just listen...because i know he has only a handful of people he talks to about it all...

i feel for him, but my patience grows thin...the constant jerking back and forth about it wears on me...i never know what i am supposed to support...his bisexual desires or his heterosexual dreams...sexuality is sexuality irregardless...it doesnt need subcategories...

cg

love boudoir

evidently someone submitted my blog to love boudoir...thanks to the person that did it...i havent been a featured blog, but i was listed on their blogroll which is still nice...

cg

bargain bins

this morning the wickedly witty aneris and i were having a chat about men...shocker, i know...if men only knew half of the things women say to each other they would cringe in delight, fear, and consternation...lol...

anyhow, here is a snippet of our conversation this morning:

Aneris: right, he thinks he has the power b/c he has the gold but please...
if we are just travel buddies, then ok. but do not text me and call and all that
no need to act like we are in love

me: oh he does it because he thinks that is his role...if he can put things in their little cubbies then it is easier for him to make himself feel better

Aneris: very very true. you are so damn smart

Aneris: i am almost ready to be shipped off to krypton
this world is not my home
these men are insane

Aneris: i think men do not want to be with us when we clearrly state we want $$$$

me: of course not, because then it doesnt fit into their little dream bubble of how a woman should be

Aneris: so, i closed my acct. the guys were either aggressive or old and bossy
some geezer-67-wants a mstress
but he thinks that he can screw her like every week

me: on his terms, i am sure

Aneris: so, he tells me that i am sexy but too far

me: ah, so the woman is perfect but inconvenient...like shopping through the bargain bins at a closeout retail chain

Aneris: of course. i told him he is not poor and he has flyer miles, make it happen or no but stop with the talking.

Aneris: yes. CG, is it wrong to expect a man to do more than stick his weenie into me?

me: lmfao...hey, it is your life...you make your own rules...and if you dictate that you want more than to offer free sex to these men, that is your choice...your freedom...
so these are the ramblings of two women on a saturday morning...*sighs*...it wont make sense to most of you, and you may form instant opinions or judgments based on this conversation...do as you like...or do what we do...get a glass of wine and jump into a delightful conversation that pushes your thoughts far past anything you ever thought you would want to know...;)

cg


Tuesday, October 7, 2008

a kiss is just a kiss

sometimes i feel like julia roberts from the movie "pretty woman" where she has her idiosyncratic rule about "no kissing on the lips"...what is it about kissing that is so very intimate...so much so, that for me it is like being naked in a room full of people...sexual act of physical intimacy is different, because the sensations are different...when you kiss someone, you can smell, taste, touch, hear, and see them...all right in one place...

i tend to pull away from kisses even though i love kissing...it is so intimate...so dark, heavy, and rich...except the bad ones...then they are just lame, gross, and messy...

but the ones that i really want to kiss i always turn away from...why is that...am i afraid of what i may find after our lips meet and the tongue tango begins?...

the more intimate i feel towards/with a person, the less likely i am to kiss them...anti-climatic fears, perhaps?...who knows...in the meantime, i will kiss the ones i dont want to kiss...

and refuse to kiss the ones i yearn to kiss...

i never said i made sense, lol...

cg

Friday, October 3, 2008

sexual lubricant

"god made alcohol as a sexual lubricant" - from the film "just like heaven"

ah, yes, the infamous sexual lubricant otherwise known as alcohol...countless websites are devoted to young men and women drowning themselves in fermented drink only to disrobe in front of a camera and perform various forms of sexual activities with/to one another....

at first taste, the cold liquid slides down your throat then shimmies into your stomach, releasing a trail of warmth...for some, an instant urge to purge the bladder follows...once the flood gates are opened, the full force of the alcoholic monsoon ensues...small sips give way to long, thirst-quenching gulps...everything seems louder, funnier, and you yourself seem waaay more intelligent than the average bear...every song is either you FAVORITE song that you absolutely must sing along with or so awful you howl and moan throughout the shitful piece of music...

somewhere in between the fire curling in your esophagus and the instant rock star you have just become, it hits you...you are damn horny...

for some, any warm body will do...for guys, if it's got tits, it'll do...for gals, if it's got an endless stream of drinks with coherent conversation, it'll do...

for others, all your horniness sings in a beeline straight for one person in particular...you can actually feel your pheromones emanating from you and making circles around your fuck target...oh, you do what you can to get their attention, but, alas, it doesnt always work...ten drunk texts, four phone calls, and one email later you arent horny, you are pissed...

so what do you do?...pass out, vow NEVER to send another drunk text again....then do it all over again...

cg