mental starvation..?

i had a conversation recently with someone during which i realized...i am starving...for mental stimulation...when i mentioned this, i received a blank stare..."do you mean you need more books to read or something like that?"...no...that's not it exactly...true, reading stimulates but i felt at that moment i needed something more....i dont know precisely...

when i asked the question "do you have a need to be inspired?" i received the reply "for what?"...not what...just..inspired...to feel challenged and a need to challenge...

i have to feel inspired...it makes absolute sense to me, in my head when i consider it...but for some reason it isnt a thought that translates well to others...mentally, i feel starved...my focus is off...i am hoping that writing here i can find some of my focus (which typically fluctuates in a way i consider normal)....

i sit and consider the rivaling theories of humanity as a circle of continuity and repetition and of humanity as a "straight line" that has a beginning, middle, and end....perhaps it is a little of both...the circle moves, yet as it does so it shifts slightly....so that it would appear to be a series of circles that overlap just slightly, yet appear to move from circle to the next...but not in a straight line of movement...a little to the left or right, then forward...like a child stamping circles on a page randomly...the circles begin, over time, to develop a pattern...

linear circles...kinda, but not really...