Monday, September 29, 2008

i do

ten things to think about before considering marriage (conventional or otherwise)....

1. you will have to share a bathroom - men, if you leave your razor in there - she will use it (not to mention all the hair that women leave behind in a shower (okay, so i have long hair and my hair gets everywhere)

2. you will have to share a bathroom - women, if you buy cute towels they wont be cute for long - it wont be long before you see pieces of them cut into "scraps" in the garage....dont say i didnt warn you!

3. you will have to share a bed - sexual activity aside, there are issues of temperature, covers, pillows, sleeping space, snoring (hey, women snore, too!)

4. you will have to share a garage - for something that is supposed to house vehicles, men have some pretty well-defined ideas of how they want "their" garage to look...and it stands to reason for the most part because women typically dictate the decor/etc of the house in general while the men guard their "man-caves" like ebenezer with his gold...

5. you will have to share the television - as a football fan, do you know how many men i have encountered that do NOT like to watch games??...in my family, i am the only person...PERSON...that likes football...wtf??...

6. you will be accountable to another person (to a certain degree)...no more running out at midnight to the store or with friends...most spouses would be very suspicious of that behavior...

7. you will part of a new group of couples-only - as much as you will try to keep separate friends and such, it wont work...why not?...because your friends will want to "double-date" (which is a stupid word - four people still make it ONE date) then the women become friends (or not!) which adds another dilemma...

8. you will have to be around your SO's friends - which sucks if you dont like them...

(i dont have 9 and 10 because i am a lame loser who cant think atm)

anyhow, go out and get married, live in sin, join an orgy - makes no never mind to me - i get to sleep in my own bed, piss in my own toilet when i want (i dont have to wait for anyone), and i watch the tv when i want...unless my sister wants to watch something, in that case we try to be the first one to turn it on and hoard the remote....

cg

4 curious people say...:

Percy said...

funny, very funny...

BUT true for the most part...

Hey whats wrong with a man cave anyway?

and yes women DO snore.

comfydildo said...

Oh, but CG, the year I lived with darling was so completely worth all that stuff. I'd marry him tomorrow if we had the finances.

bdenied said...

We Men people, get our hands dirty, fixing cars, gadgets, mowing the yard, building things for you Lady people and dirty man hands are just not conducive to cute little towels.......

mnwhr said...

Damn this is a good list. Of all the things on it only the sharing a bathroom freaks me out. I want to retain my illusions that women don't use the toilet.