big daddy and the sexy texan

that's what he calls himself...sometimes...he pushed too hard last time...was pushing too hard again this time around...but now it seems he's gone and figured out just how the hell to get under my skin without making me roll my eyes or shoo him off...he's fired up, all right, and looking to fire me up as well...

bdenied and the missus call him boomerang, and that was what i was going to call him but i think BD will suit him just fine...

i feel him trying to "train" me or "groom" me...try is the key word...although a part of me may play along because of the novelty of it...

i had a date with ST the other day but the stars were misaligned and i had to cancel..he made up for it by sending me a sexy vid of him jerking off to some pics i'd sent him earlier that day...his cum came out so thick and milky...i cant wait to feel it in my mouth again...

these two men couldnt be any more different...they are about fifteen years apart...BD is the older one...so much self-confidence (arrogance, really) and used to getting his way always...ST is younger, closer to my age, but younger...quieter, less showy...let's me take the lead and asks before doing anything "can i kiss you?" "can i touch your breasts?" "can i please stick my finger inside you?"....there is this amazing sweetness and innocence that surrounds him...he would laugh if i told him that...

BD doesnt ask...at least not like ST would ask...he asks things like "would you slide down to your knees for me, darlin?" "why don't you open your lips so i can see how my cock looks inside your mouth?"...really, they are more commands...but done in a certain way...

i get something different out of each one...ST is dying for me to send him a vid or pic of me going down on BD (or anyone, he says)...he thinks it is so erotic...he also wants to send me vid/pics of himself with other women...

i get dizzy thinking about it all...i dont know if i could choose between both...i have the upper hand with one, but not so much with the other...having both makes it possible for me to not have to make any choices...

at least for now...

cg

the return

i was younger then...in years, yes, but also in the way i saw the world and how my little piece of the puzzle would one day fit into it...i was more worried with where i would fit rather than how...he was older and strong...too strong...it was like inhaling a scent that was overpowering and seductive at the same time...i couldnt breathe...i felt constricted and frantic...

he wanted to control me, he said...but in those oh, so, subtle ways...but i would have none of it...he demanded of me, i resisted...he followed me, i ran...the harder he pursued, the faster i fled...

he became hurt and angry with me...he accused me of leading him on a merry chase, which i likely was...he wanted to smother me with sexual energy and whatever else he had left to give me...it was like being burned, it was too much...

now he's back...years later...and he still wants me...im older now, wiser in many ways...i cannot tell what he seeks this time...i havent forgotten you, he said...

this time...i am so very curious...

this time...i wonder if i will stop running...

cg

a sight to see

what would you do if you invited a gorgeous young woman into your life to seduce your husband in hopes of finding out if he has been sharing his kibbles and bits with other women?...would you sleep with her after she tells you that she's slept with your husband?...well, that is exactly what happens in this movie i saw the other day called chloe with julianne moore and amanda seyfried

this isnt really a movie review just me thinking out loud...overall, i liked the film and the whole fatal attraction theme works pretty well...i had a few issues with some aspects of the film, but i wont discuss them here bc i dont want to spoil it for those of you who havent seen it!

seriously, though, in fantasy, the idea that a woman suspects her husband is cheating and then hires a call girl to present herself to the man and then gets aroused by hearing all the details that went on between the girl and the husband, well, its pretty erotic and very believable...im sure the woman would be confused by those aroused feelings and the feeling that she is losing her husband to other women...

if we take this fantasy a step further...and the woman continues to pay the young call girl to spend time with the husband and then gradually develops a physical relationship with the young girl...what would happen next?....would the husband find out and also get aroused?...would the girl and the woman begin to see each other exclusively?...

people enjoy hearing about sexual encounters..it is why they look online to find those naughty stories so they can imagine they are there in the room ...watching...maybe through a hidden corner or closet...or through a discreetly placed camera...possibly touching themselves as they watch the events unfold...

somehow, in this scenario, i think that something would be lost if the ultimate fantasy of the wife, call girl and husband all together played out...for those that enjoy that mystery and secrecy, those would, in a sense, be gone....but there would always be that lingering thought of...what if....that would add to the anticipation and sexual hum...

perhaps the reality of it...or the possibility that it could be real is what draws people to fantasies such as this one...there is a fine line for many people as to what is a fantasy and what fantasies can become reality...when those fantasies become reality, those fantasies that walk that very fine line, people stretch the concept of who they are, at least, who they thought they were...and coming face to fact with that much raw honesty can prove toxic for some...

you know what they say, what doesnt kill you makes you stronger...perhaps the same can be said here...when entering the cave of truth, if you dont flinch and face it full-force, will it make you stronger?...will it blow away everything you thought you knew?...or will it blow away in a cloud of ash leaving you lost and roaming the world in disillusion for eternity?...

in any case, check out the film, its not bad, and there is a sex scene with julianne moore and amanda seyfried!

cg

all's right with the world

let's begin by shooing "whiny girl" out the door:

*takes broom and sweeps out mopey, whiny girl and gives her a firm swat on the bottom with the straw end of the broom - slams door*

*opens door again and shouts, "yeah, and dont come back here anymore! you whine too much!"

lol...seriously, men have NO idea how hormones can make women wacky...its like living with a split personality at times..fo' sho'..i have a couple of other things on my mind that i have told a couple of you about, nothing major, just little things that get the hamster rolling around...yeah, he rolls around...laughing at me...nasty little bugger...

so i talked with the young'un and he basically said "i love that you are always turned on, i just dont know what to do with you"...

bdenied and his wife had a good laugh over that one!

but here's something funny: i went to purchase a new toy and my cc was declined..i thought i entered something wrong but it didnt go through...i thought...wow, and i cant even call the cc company and ask what's up bc that would be an awkward convo:

person: hello, thank you for calling abc cc company, how can i help today?

me: yes, i was just trying to make an online purchase and it was declined. i pay off the balance regularly so i know it isnt an issue of reaching the limit.

person: hmm, well let's see if we can find out the problem. can you tell me what you were trying to purchase?

me: um, a vibrator...

person: ...


honestly, i am sure these people see and hear about all kinds of purchases people make...lol...but i certainly didnt want to try and see how that would go!...perhaps its just as well, because i really wanted this other one anyhow, but it was a bit more expensive...odd how the more expensive transaction went through! lol

all's well that ends well!...

cg

confused

before i begin this post, i wanted to share a big "thank you" to those of you who have been so supportive of me and my curiosities...some of you have been following my blog for a long time, others more recently...but thank you! (you guys know who you are :)

anyhow, two things happened tonight that kinda sorta inflicted a little self-doubt...someone said that i am too intimidating because i am aroused often...too horny, he said...

wow...really?...i never thought of myself as being so horny that i am that overwhelming...i mean, yes, there are times when i can orgasm a lot and often...and other times not so much...like merlin said about the cycles of women and sexual arousal...

i will admit that i was just a tiny bit embarrassed...dont ask why, it was just a quick reaction...i have never acted like i was about to just throw him down and force-fuck him...he is a lot bigger than i am, so i dont know where he would think that...

then, not 30 minutes after that i am talking to a friend...he knows about some of my recent experiences that i've posted on here and he flat out said he didnt like it...he said "i hope you go through this phase quickly"...then he called me a slut, to which i replied, thank you...he laughed it off but i was still bothered...not by the fact that he called me a slut, but the tone and disgust i could hear in his voice...

he asked later if i was mad...and i said no, not mad, disappointed...he asked why didnt i argue back or disagree...what would be the point?...he has his opinions and i will not try to sway him...i think it bothered me because he is a good friend and i would have expected something more...

i explained that my sexual curiosities are my own and have nothing to do with him...he agreed and i could tell he was unaware he had let me down...as a friend, i dont expect him to agree with me and to jump for joy over every decision i make...but they are mine to make, good, bad, or indifferent, and the judgment that he saw fit to pass was hurtful because he is a friend...

he knows i am disappointed...i am confused and hurt to a degree...perhaps it is the feeling of being "naked" and open...i try really really hard not to judge others...i dont know the ins and outs of the lives they lead...im not perfect, i miss the mark at times...and i am okay with that...

i just have to remember that the world wont accept me the way i am...at least not all of me...which is why i am thankful that i do have such a good support here...

i hope you guys know how much i enjoy having you around to tease, chat, and engage in meaningless, er, meaningful conversation...

thank you.

cg

a mouthful

he watched as i unbuttoned each of the three buttons on my blouse...his scent slithered slowly into my nostrils, racing unfiltered to my brain...i wanted to breathe it in, let in linger and savor it...i pulled my open shirt past my shoulders, exposing the soft flesh of my breasts, pale against the black bra i wore...

he reached down and pulled them out from within the confines of the dark material and latched onto one of my nipples with his mouth...he suckled them slowly, firmly taking them into his mouth using his lips, teeth, and tongue...

he reached down and slipped his hand down my leg and up under my skirt...his cool fingers slid along my thighs while his mouth continued ravaging my breasts...after a while, he pulled back and then i removed my bra enjoying the feel of having my breasts sway and move freely...

his cock lay before me...my tongue circled the head, tasting his precum...it was saltier than last time...we soon settled into a rhythm...his hands on my head, his cock slipping in and out of my mouth, at times pushing against the back of my throat...

i sat back and he reached once again under my skirt...he rubbed along my panty-covered pussy...his fingers pulled the black fabric aside and he probed with his long cool fingers, searching for the hot warmth that lay hidden...slowly, i whispered, his over-eager fingers pushed too quickly at first, excited by all the wetness...he gently eased a finger inside and our ears soon heard the soft sucking sounds of his fingers slipping in and out of my pussy...back and forth i moved with the thrusting of his hand...i could feel the wetness oozing out of me...

once again i was on my knees, his cock in my mouth, my hands on his balls...i wanted to make him cum...faster he thrust his cock into my mouth...until he whispered those three little words "im gonna cum"...thick cum filled the back of my throat and i nearly gagged from lack of air and all the cum filling my throat, but i recovered quickly and in one quick swallow it was all gone...

cg