Long Absence

i haven't blogged in forever it seems...years, based on my last entry... i wasn't sure if i wanted to continue blogging and i was so busy with work and personal things (nothing bad, just life got busy) that i didn't blog...

i've involved myself recently with someone much more dominant and aggressive (sexually) than i have ever experienced...it's been very different than anything i've ever experienced...i've never been too interested in men than wanted to dominate me sexually...hello, you can't control me or make me do anything i don't want to do so don't bother trying that crap with me.

but his approach left me virtually unguarded...

brief conversations, innocuous topics...slow, slow, slow almost plodding pace during the "getting to know you" know...later, i would realize i was revealing much more about myself than he was about himself...normally, i can get a man to talk and talk and talk about himself...not this one...not that he has anything to hide...he is extremely open...but it's an openness that is bits here and there and always leaves me wanting to know more...normally, i am very direct when i cannot ascertain a man's interest...sometimes i get the "you're kind of intimidating" response...but from the very beginning, some weird instinct has made me pull back on that part...it doesn't feel like i am holding back from being myself...just feels like what i need to do at that moment...

i'm pretty independent...i don't need a man to drown me with attention...if a man pulls his attention away then i wave and move on...but i really really want this man's attention...in a "pay attention and touch me" kind of way...

i honestly don't know what he wants...something casual?...something more long term?...he's made a couple of comments that have me thinking he is looking for something longer term, but i genuinely don't know...

the other night...he wanted to meet me at his house...for a spanking...but i've never been there and i'm very hesitant...he senses my hesitancy...so he tells me to meet him some place, quickly, just throw on some clothes and meet for a kiss...

i'm instantly wet at the thought...i get up out of bed...it's not quite 11pm...i look in the mirror...my hair is a disheveled mess...no makeup...hurry, he says...something loose...loose??...what does that even mean?...as in not jeans??...i throw on a skirt and top...add some lip balm and blush just so I don't look too ghastly...

i'm headed out, i text...

he responds with a smiley face...

i feel a gush of wetness...i had gone to the bathroom before I left...wiped the wetness away...more came in its place...within minutes we meet in a parking lot...he walks up behind my car, startling me...he stands there, tall and full of male energy...i babble something about him startling me and laugh somewhat nervously...i barely exit the car when he pulls me up against him, his arms around me and presses his mouth against mine...i dont even have a moment to pause or think or respond...it is pure reaction...his arms are coiled around me tightly, pulling me closer...he leans back against my car and i go along with him...then the kiss becomes harder, more tongue...his hands grab and squeeze and spank my bottom...i was vaguely aware that we were doing this in a parking lot...that is still open and has cars...but it's also somewhat dimly lit...it's later at night...

i pull back...and the grin on his face...was so full of pleasure at my clearly stunned reaction...

i have dated men that were strong and dominant...but clearly nothing like this before...this powerful energy that seemed to just emanate and vibrate all around him...

i suggest we should get in my car where at least it's more private...the windows are tinted and the exterior lights are off...inside he reached for me almost immediately...hard, firm, fast...i didn't think i was capable of whimpering the way i did when he reached inside my bra and squeezed my nipple...hard...harder than i have ever felt...i tried to pull back...he held me close against him and nestled my head against his chest...whispering in my ear...

you can take it...you can do it...his voice deep and soft in my ear...

i press against him, almost as if that would give me the strength i needed to push through the intense sensation...almost as quickly as the pain started it subsided as he released my nipple...his hand stroking my hair softly...

good girl, he whispered...

he reached down between my legs...pushed up my skirt...i knew the wetness would be felt through my panties...i tensed for a few seconds...he slid a finger inside...we both heard the soft sucking sounds of his finger sliding in and out...he took out his finger and smelled me, tasting me on his finger...before sliding it inside my mouth...i felt drunk with sensation...everything was fast...slow...intense...deliberate...

he shifted between being aggressive and gentle...it was overwhelming to me...the soft touches on my arms, neck, breasts...the firm, painful touches on my nipples...pushing my head down on his cock...both of us cumming...me at least three times...after each orgasm, he'd pull me close...feeling my orgasm as it exploded through my body...

are you sure you don't want to come over? he asks with a grin...no sex this time, just more spanking and more kissing, his eyes smiled down on me...(you have no idea what a foot difference in height is like until you are standing right up next to that person)...i'm sure, i smile...

before he leaves...he pulls me hard against him...grabbing my hair...my mouth covered by his...his hand firmly squeezing and spanking my ass...