she said...i want to love you like no one ever has or ever will...with no expectations...no derision...just warmth of heart and joy of spirit...
i want you to feel like you are capable of everything and anything you set out to try...and i want you to take my hand when you fall and feel like failure is all around...i want to care for you because you deserve it...because you are special to me, she said...
i want to feel the joy in your heart when you finally finish a challenging task...i want to feel your laugh deep inside my soul....i want to know you...and never let go...but never hold on...
this is what she said to me when i looked in the mirror this morning...
why must we feel guilty for wanting to love ourselves deeply and without fear...we forget that we are our very own best friends...when others chastise us for being who we are we apologize and make excuses...and even if they are always honest excuses...having to make them reduces our self-worth a little more each time...
we forget that we never have to apologize to ourselves...
it's been a long cold winter...even down here in texas...and yet i can feel the promise of renewal in the air...i can smell the earth turning and churning as new growth begins...
perhaps it's time for a little self-growth...
cg
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Sunday, November 22, 2009
every rose has its thorn
i've been away mourning the loss of a very close friend...things have been hectic in general because of the impending thanksgiving holidays and family traditions, etc...but when i have those quiet moments and i am alone i feel that loss inside, raw and aching...
isnt it interesting that when you feel the most urgent need to talk to someone about the things you feel inside, no one is ever around?...you are the first to be called when people find themselves in a crisis or overwhelmed with life...i suppose that is the nature of being viewed as the strong, independent type...
i am inspired by this person's life...and death....to carry on a legacy of those things that this person believed in so much...but realistically i understand that i should not take it all in...else i will drown from my overflowing cup...
it isnt a terrible sadness that plagues me right now...just one question: how far can someone bend before hearing that terrible crack indicating a break?...
cg
isnt it interesting that when you feel the most urgent need to talk to someone about the things you feel inside, no one is ever around?...you are the first to be called when people find themselves in a crisis or overwhelmed with life...i suppose that is the nature of being viewed as the strong, independent type...
i am inspired by this person's life...and death....to carry on a legacy of those things that this person believed in so much...but realistically i understand that i should not take it all in...else i will drown from my overflowing cup...
it isnt a terrible sadness that plagues me right now...just one question: how far can someone bend before hearing that terrible crack indicating a break?...
cg
Friday, November 6, 2009
threesome with bi-guy
well, not really lol...but lil cg, bi-guy, and i are chatting, drinking dirty navels (fuzzy navel with extra shot of vodka...:D)...been a while!
anyone on google chat?...say hi (it says i am offline but i am really there...incognito)
damn...this alcohol is making me flush...lil cg said..."you've got a royal flush!" referring to my flushed cheeks!
cg
anyone on google chat?...say hi (it says i am offline but i am really there...incognito)
damn...this alcohol is making me flush...lil cg said..."you've got a royal flush!" referring to my flushed cheeks!
cg
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
educational attraction
recently, DD (lol on the "double" d's) raised a bit of a ruckus with her list of requirements regarding men...go read that FIRST before you read the rest of my post...go on!...
*************************************************************************************
the biggest issue she raises is the emphasis on education and its attraction component...how attracted are we to people who are at least as intelligent as we are?...once in the bedroom, do you ask your partner..."hey, before you slip that condom over your cock, i need to know one thing...how many degrees do you have?"...probably not...
let's look at this a different way...the fact that a person has taken the time to do well in higher learning means something...depending on where you are in life...these issues tend to be more important with those under 40/45 for some reason...why is it that those that fall into older brackets do not see formal education as an attraction variable?...they seem to quickly ascertain a level of intelligence based on the ability to convey thoughts and are more attracted to those that have a better developed emotional intelligence...
(i apologize for my incoherent, rambling, i suddenly realize i am tired, tired, but i want to finish this!)
why are some people more attracted to others who have "made the grade" even years and years after "making the grade" becomes irrelevant?...perhaps because we often associate education with intelligence and intelligence with ability and ability with potential...
unfortunately, many of the great ideas do not come from those who did well in school...they come from those who did well at what they were passionate about...
i support DD's efforts...she does not want to wait and find out if mr goodbar will be mr smartbar after several drinks and wasted time...she wants to know up front...do you have what i want between those ears?...
in the end, is it really any different than choosing a mate because of their ability to hunt well?...talk about bringing home the bacon...i can imagine our female cave woman rejecting a suitor because he couldnt hack it in nature and couldnt catch a fish to save his life (much less her own!)...and i can imagine our cave man rejecting a female suitor because she could not prepare the kill he brought to her for consumption later that evening...what the hell, woman?..i brought you a big cat!...make me dinner!...
nope, not too different...of course, back then they probably didnt have Hunter and Gatherer School...but if they did, i bet DD would want the valedictorian of the class! ;)
cg
*************************************************************************************
the biggest issue she raises is the emphasis on education and its attraction component...how attracted are we to people who are at least as intelligent as we are?...once in the bedroom, do you ask your partner..."hey, before you slip that condom over your cock, i need to know one thing...how many degrees do you have?"...probably not...
let's look at this a different way...the fact that a person has taken the time to do well in higher learning means something...depending on where you are in life...these issues tend to be more important with those under 40/45 for some reason...why is it that those that fall into older brackets do not see formal education as an attraction variable?...they seem to quickly ascertain a level of intelligence based on the ability to convey thoughts and are more attracted to those that have a better developed emotional intelligence...
(i apologize for my incoherent, rambling, i suddenly realize i am tired, tired, but i want to finish this!)
why are some people more attracted to others who have "made the grade" even years and years after "making the grade" becomes irrelevant?...perhaps because we often associate education with intelligence and intelligence with ability and ability with potential...
unfortunately, many of the great ideas do not come from those who did well in school...they come from those who did well at what they were passionate about...
i support DD's efforts...she does not want to wait and find out if mr goodbar will be mr smartbar after several drinks and wasted time...she wants to know up front...do you have what i want between those ears?...
in the end, is it really any different than choosing a mate because of their ability to hunt well?...talk about bringing home the bacon...i can imagine our female cave woman rejecting a suitor because he couldnt hack it in nature and couldnt catch a fish to save his life (much less her own!)...and i can imagine our cave man rejecting a female suitor because she could not prepare the kill he brought to her for consumption later that evening...what the hell, woman?..i brought you a big cat!...make me dinner!...
nope, not too different...of course, back then they probably didnt have Hunter and Gatherer School...but if they did, i bet DD would want the valedictorian of the class! ;)
cg
Monday, November 2, 2009
why i dont want kids
top ten reasons why i dont want kids:
because little cg drives me bonkers and is the same as having a kid (she's lived with me forever it seems...okay, ten years isnt forever, but it sure feels like it!)
(so all ten reasons are the same)
all weekend long she boo hoos about things she should have taken care of and now she's in a pickle and needs me to swoop in and save the day...nothing serious, but to her it feels like its the end of the world...i have to tell her...the world will end...as soon as the semester is over...
i love profs who think they are making a difference in the lives of their students by pushing them really hard and then they pride themselves when everyone struggles...because, you know, struggling students is a sign of a truly dedicated instructor!...cant wait for mnwhr to comment on THAT one lol)
************************************************************************************
thursday night i get a call from musician...except no voice...instead it is a throng of voices...and then i hear "this next song is dedicated to someone special...she couldnt be here tonight but i wanted to sing something just for her....cg, this is for you!"...sounds great, right?...except, i didnt know the song...couldnt hear the words...nice and bluesy, but no clue what it was...
then the song ends and so does the call...how bizarre...
our sat night was good, tho...we went out in costume and enjoyed ourselves...i swear tho, if that damn woman sings "wind beneath my spleen" one more time...if i was a meaner person i'd throw tomatoes at her...if i was a nicer person i'd throw cotton balls...or un-used tampons...yep...
line of the night..."if i wasnt so damn drunk i'd buy you a cheap drink"...aww...really??...that is so sweet...if i wasnt so sober i might toss some ice down your pants...then laugh....hard...i will laugh...hard....i will laugh hard....
yep...
sorry for the lame post...super tired...got a lot on my mind and i just need to sleep...
cg
because little cg drives me bonkers and is the same as having a kid (she's lived with me forever it seems...okay, ten years isnt forever, but it sure feels like it!)
(so all ten reasons are the same)
all weekend long she boo hoos about things she should have taken care of and now she's in a pickle and needs me to swoop in and save the day...nothing serious, but to her it feels like its the end of the world...i have to tell her...the world will end...as soon as the semester is over...
i love profs who think they are making a difference in the lives of their students by pushing them really hard and then they pride themselves when everyone struggles...because, you know, struggling students is a sign of a truly dedicated instructor!...cant wait for mnwhr to comment on THAT one lol)
************************************************************************************
thursday night i get a call from musician...except no voice...instead it is a throng of voices...and then i hear "this next song is dedicated to someone special...she couldnt be here tonight but i wanted to sing something just for her....cg, this is for you!"...sounds great, right?...except, i didnt know the song...couldnt hear the words...nice and bluesy, but no clue what it was...
then the song ends and so does the call...how bizarre...
our sat night was good, tho...we went out in costume and enjoyed ourselves...i swear tho, if that damn woman sings "wind beneath my spleen" one more time...if i was a meaner person i'd throw tomatoes at her...if i was a nicer person i'd throw cotton balls...or un-used tampons...yep...
line of the night..."if i wasnt so damn drunk i'd buy you a cheap drink"...aww...really??...that is so sweet...if i wasnt so sober i might toss some ice down your pants...then laugh....hard...i will laugh...hard....i will laugh hard....
yep...
sorry for the lame post...super tired...got a lot on my mind and i just need to sleep...
cg
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
may i have a glass of whine, please?
not whining, really...just twisted the wrong way (hmm...so which is the correct way to twisted oneself when exiting a vehicle??)...trying to rush out to avoid the deluge of H2O that was weeping from the smoke-colored clouds crowding overhead...and did i succeed?...of course not...i was wearing a dark pink top (which is NOT see-through)...however, once you become utterly drenched, guess what happens?...yep, suddenly it's grossly obvious that i have on a black bra underneath because i hear co-workers say "i can see your black bra! it's so pretty!"...
...
doh!...i feel the flames of mortification crawl under my skin and fan out all over my chest, neck, and face...i get the looks of "icantbelievesheswearingablackbrawithapinkshirt!"...bite me!...go fuck yourself while i laugh when you cant find your honey pot and you cry like a little baby because you cant get no satisfaction!...
so that was a wee bit dramatic...anyhow...soaking wet, twisted back, and dreary day...yep...where is that glass of wine...
guess a nice cup of hot tea will do...i have a lovely pomegranate tea...
and i'm chilled from in and out of the rain today so my nipples are like hard rocks...just need to get cozy in bed and wave a hand to the rest of the world...
cg
...
doh!...i feel the flames of mortification crawl under my skin and fan out all over my chest, neck, and face...i get the looks of "icantbelievesheswearingablackbrawithapinkshirt!"...bite me!...go fuck yourself while i laugh when you cant find your honey pot and you cry like a little baby because you cant get no satisfaction!...
so that was a wee bit dramatic...anyhow...soaking wet, twisted back, and dreary day...yep...where is that glass of wine...
guess a nice cup of hot tea will do...i have a lovely pomegranate tea...
and i'm chilled from in and out of the rain today so my nipples are like hard rocks...just need to get cozy in bed and wave a hand to the rest of the world...
cg
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
