tmi tuesday #167 - happy new year!

(this is a bit late...i started it yesterday afternoon and just now got the chance to finish it)

1. Last week was "The Most Wonderful time of the Year", but what are your favorite 2008 memories?

my favorite memories of 2008...coming here in an effort to explore myself (both sexually and non-sexually)...re-connecting with an old friend or two...vacation time...yeah, boring i suppose, but that's like asking "what's your favorite reason for living?"...

2. What is the best thing you learned in 2008?

to keep certain thoughts to myself...either people see you differently and fault you for tarnishing the vision they created of of you or they twist things to suit their need of the moment...

3. On a scale of 1-10, how good was your 2008?

7...not terrible, but it was an emotionally charged year...but i have had a lot of work satisfaction so it all evens out...

4. What is your wish for 2009? What is your wish for someone else for 2009?

for myself...i really need to work on finishing what i start...i get all these ideas that i want to do and i get distracted with them so my ideas often stay in my head...

for someone else...i hope that this person never lets fear or despair cloud their view of life...it's brighter than you can imagine...

5. Where was the first place you ever passionately kissed?

on the playground...hey, it was passionate at the time in my mind!!...i dare you to say that a six-year-old cannot feel intensely...lol...

Bonus (as in optional):Do you make New Year's resolutions? What is/are your's for 2009?

i used to want to make resolutions...but then i realized it's like putting a starting point for goals...you shouldnt have to wait for the word "GO!" to know when to start making a change...change can happen at any time of the year, day and night...

cg

secret admiree(s)

the long and windy path of a blogger leads them to interact with others they normally would not for various reasons...but, nevertheless, a bond is forged through those interactions..and sometimes...a crush...ah, yes...boy meets girl...or boy...or boy and girl...you get the drift...

which made me think about my little blogger crushes...you may think you know, but you will never guess all of them...yes, more than one!...

do you have a secret blogger crush?...does someone have one on you?...i sound so adolescent, yet it is intriguing isnt it?...so many of us are like one great big afternoon tea...and a nice side of gossip is just the thing...

i wonder if you know that i have a crush on you...or you..or you...;)

cg

missed opportunities and inspirations

last night i was supposed to meet up with musician...he was going to be somewhat in my vicinity and offered to hang out...but then i got busy with family and he got busy with his friends and then he had to go to a gig...

not sure how i feel about him...a friend of mine says that he can tell that we are attracted to each other and that it seems inevitable that something will develop...i am not so sure...i like that he has his own thing and doesnt call all the damn time and gives me space, but i dont like when ppl say "oh, hey, i'll call you tonight" or whatevs and they dont...eh, for a friend that's fine...sometimes...but all the time?...yeah, i lose interest...we'll see...

but i was talking to bi-guy last night...it had been a while since we'd chatted...he is friends with my sis too, but he and i are closer....he wanted to know if there were any cute guys...said he just wanted to find a nice, sweet guy for his first time...he thinks he just needs to get it out of his system...lol...ah, if he only knew!!...

i dont' know why the idea of him being topped by another man is so arousing to me...it isnt like i have always had that fantasy...it only developed through knowing him...we have a lot in common so that is the basis for our friendship...and he is very interested in women...but as i have mentioned before on here, he has long had a sexual interest in men that goes back and forth...the last few months he hasnt denied it as much and is actually wanting to find a woman that will both accept and encourage his interest in men...

aneris and i were talking about chb the other day (he posted a pic of himself in his undies and she was saying how cute he was and nice his legs were)...and i told her yeah, i just want to rape him!! hahaha...not literally, but you get the idea...

bi-guy and i have gotten into this little pattern where he brings up the idea of me choosing men ( i sometimes point out, oh look at that guy, he's your type)...and he gets excited and i get excited...so i create this fantasy for him based on the guy we focus on from afar...and he gets so hot that he uses our scenario to jack off to...

over the course of this blog i have come to realize that an individually our sexuality does not have to fit into a single mold and make sense to everyone...as long as it makes sense to ourselves in the fact that we know what arouses us...and how to arouse others who may share those stimulations...instead of fighting ourselves to accept what others press upon us as what "should" be stimulating...

cg

ear candy

added a lil playlist..well, only part of it shows, but it works! lol...a more fun way to share my current ear candy...

(am i the only one who totally hears the bruce springsteen influence on sex on fire??...ppl tell me i'm crazy, but i swear it is old school bruce!!)

cg

who am i?

i was reading up on a couple of older posts that aneris had on her blog and i ran across one about women and friendships...anyhow, mnwhr commented "i am one of those who believes the company you keep says a lot about you, but i think it's good to keep around those folks who balance you"

what do the people i associate with in "real life" and in blogger land say about me?...hmm...to make things more interesting, i chose at random three people i know in "real life" and three i know here in blogger land...i wont give out names i will just do numbers...

"real life" homies

#1 - he is extremely exasperating with an IQ totally off the charts...and the husband of a friend...sometimes i hang out with both, sometimes just me and her, and sometimes just me and him...weird?...he whines and complains about the evils of society and conformity...he worries about the roots of all evil...he is disdainful of modern technology...he has the social graces of both a player and a tree...he can be rude as hell and thoughtful to a fault...

#2 - she pulled on me for so long...calling me for this or that (emotional neediness)...then when she got her shit together flew away with the birds...when we talk it is like none of that time has gone by...we can go months without talking and then suddenly pick back up again and have the best time...we always have a great time...we are total opposites...she thinks porn is an evil thing...

#3 - he is the closest thing i have to a best friend...we admit that we must have known each other in a former life...purely platonic...we are like brother and sister...he is so driven and yet cant let go of things in his past...he is too methodical and cynical at times...we share the same love of reading, music, and movies...intensely so...we often write together...he is one of perhaps two or three people i know that know me so well...he would be both surprised and not surprised at all i have done and considered in my life...

blogger land weirdos

#1 - she is both fun and wickedly intelligent...we do "get" each other too much at times...she is both open and closed...open-minded and closed off...she is creative and worldly, yet appreciates the quiet life...we different, yet the same...

#2 - she is insanely funny and just amazes me with her shenanigans...i havent known her all that long, but we seem to have certain things in common...i am able to explore new ideas through her blog...

#3 - he is thoughtful and intense...his words and ability to communicate are strong and have a nice flow...there is an openness and decisiveness about him...he does not make excuses and sees no reason to...his life is what it is...

i should mention, that of all 6 -
4 of them are very sexual
3 of them enjoy a good drink (i dont really know about the bloggers)
1 of the "real lifers" smokes; 1 of the "real lifers" has a self-piercing from when he was younger
1 has experienced sex outside of marriage
1 has been cheated on
1 has a desire to have sex with me (my friend's husband) he has mentioned this once or twice and says his wife would be okay with it
2 are younger than i am
2 are my age within a year or two
2 are at least ten years older

so, anyone care to analyze who i am based on who i hang out with both here and outside of the blogger world??

cg

i effin hate holidays

i tried this year to get into the whole christmas spirit...jingle bells, santa smells and all that jazz...but the fact is this: i want to be alone on christmas...i have always felt that way...no, i am not depressed...i just dont like all the hoopla it comes with...

people are cranky, stupid presents that dont mean anything, people that think they know you and dont...

i just wanted to be alone...but can i have that one little thing?...of course not, people put that pressure "oh, it'll be fun" or "but we havent seen you in a while, i was hoping we could catch up"...why the fuck for?...if you really wanted to "catch up" you wouldnt have dropped from existence, thus necessitating a need for "catching up"...you would already have been there all along or at least drifting in and out periodically...

then...with no time (literally) to do anything for myself, let alone do the stupid christmas shopping, i sent my sister to do the deed...and she did well...but...it's christmas eve...and she forgot to get things to put the gifts in...what, should i be like fucking santa and carry it all in a big red sack and say "oh, hi, i am being eco-friendly, so no wrapping paper/bags this year!"...yeah, they would so not get that...

then...all i wanted to do was blow dry my fucking hair...and i said...i am going to blow dry my hair...she saw me doing it...so what does she do...she goes and turns hers on...after the fourth time of the dryer stopping, i throw it on the floor and go to her room "tell me when you're done so i can do my hair" ...so i was snappy...i am pissy dammit...

dont ask me what's wrong...it doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure it out...you didnt do the things i asked you to do, i have a headache, i am hungry, i want to blow dry my hair but cant...and if you are a woman, you know this...once your hair dries naturally, what the fuck point is there to fucking blow drying your hair??...so now, with less than two hours before we have to leave, i have to re-wash my hair...why re-wash...because i had already put other hair products into my hair and when it gets re-wet it never works...i've tried...

i want to scream and cry and say "fuck off" to christmas...

sonofa...

cranky bitch (formerly known as cg)

tmi tuesday #166 - merry christmas!

1. What do present do you hope ends up under you tree?

honestly...just quiet...gift cards for barnes and noble, itunes...i'd love a few things to be done to my car, but that is something else entirely!

2. What present are you most psyched about giving (PLEASE be vague or ignore this question if the recipient reads your blog)?

nothing really...i get things during the year for people as the whim strikes me...but i am rather pleased with a gift for my mother that i know will make her cry...but then...she ALWAYS cries for everything...

3. DO you prefer to give or receive?

i like giving gifts to people...i am not too keen on receiving because i think i can be hard to shop for...it's true, and i will admit it!...sometimes people will give me gifts and i think...wtf gave this person the idea that i would be even remotely interested in this???...

4. What is your favorite part off a sexual partner's body?

havent i answered this somewhere before??

5. What is your favorite part your body - the one you hope a sexual partner will find or pay the most attention to?

i really enjoy having my hair brushed and played with...it is the softest, most stimulating thing...makes my nipples hard and makes me tingle in so many places ;)...and my neck..although i have a habit of laughing because it is my most ticklish spot!...

Bonus (as in optional): [Idea blatently stolen from Os and hist HNT wishes.] What Christmas wishes would you grant to whom?

i wish that all of you get your wishes this christmas...

cg

minor changes

made a few minor changes...i am updating my links list...and...i actually have a follower...everybody give her a wave, lol...so i added that to my side bar and i put my top links that i visit the most under "addictions"...if yours isnt on that list, it isnt that i dont love you...i do!...but there are some i check out first and they come to my blog a lot as well...

i am also thinking of other changes, but not sure what...it's like i want to paint the walls...but i have no idea what color...bleh...

cg

soldier boy drama and dreams

he may/may not be here in two weeks...his temper has gotten him into trouble and he's frustrated with himself and now in anger mgmt...honestly, i feel bad for him...this is what happens when the country is so immersed in all these worldly struggles...the "losses" are the mental stability of our people...their emotional faculties are compromised...but, hey, at least someone didnt let his convictions suffer so that he could be more popular...

actually, how soldier boy got to this place is his own fault and he knows it...he has a mouth and he let it rip one too many times...not smart...

i had a dream last night...that i was trapped in a convenience store and i couldnt get out...i wasnt exactly trying to get out, and there was an entire "community" living in there...but i was aware that there was something beyond the glaring glass of the windows...every time i tried to look closer at the "glowing" windows, something distracted me and i was once again lost in the aisles....

my distraction was always the same...this man....he was a bit taller than myself...dark hair, kinda wavy and a bit on the long side...his skin was darker than mine, but he wasnt black...just like that darker tan from being out in the sun a lot...he had this soft, enticing voice that lured me back with a single word...

oddly enough, i do not know anyone that fits that description...ah, well...every woman has her dream of a "tall, dark, and handsome man"...maybe my mind subconsciously planted it in there...

then again, i have also dreamt that i was in a large pool of water with vampires at the bottom of castle but they didnt want to bite me, they were my friends...go figure...

cg

how you move me

i am sitting here waiting for the polish on my toe nails to dry before we head out for the night...and i thought i would share (for those who would like to know! - and if you dont, go fuck yourself) the songs that are currently the soundtrack of my life...some old, some new...enjoy! (or not!)...

"lollipop" - framing hanley (this is a super-fun version of lil wayne's "lollipop" song - i like both versions, but this one is on my current playlist)


"white rabbit" - jefferson airplane (this song makes me feel strong and defiant - grace slick's vocals are cool)


"always where i need to be" - the kooks (just pure uk pop - love it, love it)


"nine 2 five" - the ordinary boys/lady sov (older song, but another fun song - originally by lady sov)

(embedding disabled - here is the link )

"cookie jar" - gym class heroes (all you pervs should like this one)



"green light" - john legend/andre 3000 (i absolutely love john legend - he has such a sexy voice and his music is both sensual and full of life)



"let it rock" - kevin rudolf/lil wayne (just a fun song)

(again, no embedding here is the link)

"i dont care" - apocalyptica/adam gontier (embedding disabled again, here's the link )

damn, that's all i can do...i am being summoned!!

cg

"santa baby"

santa baby,
flip me over onto your knee,
just me -
i've been an awful bad girl,
santa baby,
and hurry up and fill me tonight!

santa baby, several bottles of lube will do, not two
you can tie me, my dear
santa baby,
and hurry up and thrill me tonight!

think of all the times you slipped,
that great big cock inside me, i hope you fit!
tomorrow will be just as good,
if you'll just tease my little clit!

santa baby,
i want a lot of really hot sex, that's not
something not once a year
santa baby,
so hurry up and bang me tonight!

santa baby,
there's so much that you could do to me,
you'll see,
we could have so much fun,
santa baby,
so hurry up and screw me tonight!

happy holidays!

;)

cg

why do boobies...

...hurt when you get cold...
...feel like they are going to pop sometimes...
...look great in bras but feel better out of them...
...have special names (mitties - man titties; moobs - man boobs) btw, mitties are smaller than moobs...

cg

tmi tuesday #164

1. Do you consider sexy underthings a present for you or your partner?

hmm...good question...truthfully, men in sexy underwear dont always turn me on...i dont like him picking things out for me though, i'd rather get it myself...picky, picky, i know...

2. What are 3 characteristics of "your type"? Have you best relationship(s) been with your type or when you have gone against it?

three characteristics, huh...well, i'll be generous...i will give both physical and non-physical characteristics...

physical - dark eyes, strong hands, nice lips

non-physical - great mind, great voice (it has to do with the way how he speaks...typically he doesnt rush...he could have an accent or not...i cant explain it...interestingly enough, a lot hinges on the voice), sense of calm (goes well with my spritzy nature)

3. What is on your Santa list this year?

damn my indecision...

4. Generally speaking, who has historically had a higher libido, you or your partner(s)?

hmm...i would say myself...yet i also historically take forever to get to that point...

5. The unsculptured female bush seems to have passed from fashion. What about men, do you think they need to trim and shave "down there"?

well, it depends...on how long the trip to the cottage is and how dense the forest grows...i actually prefer some hair down there on a man...aesthetically, it just appeals to me more...plus, more stuff to play with...

Bonus (as in optional):What are a few of your favorite things (both sexual non-sexual)?

this is a dumb question...i wont answer it...i refuse to...let's see how many of you pay attention around here...what do YOU think a few of my favorite things are based on my loopy rants and raves...

cg

morning wake up calls...good or bad?

musician has taken to calling me in the mornings before he heads off to work (and before i even wake up!)...he works late nights and just calls every so often to touch base and stuff...

i havent yet decided if i like the calls, though...at first they were sweet...but now...eh...i like my sleep...

early morning i sound like a croaky frog while mr chipper chats it up...

when do those early morning calls go from "aww, that's so thoughtful" to "leave me the fuck alone so i can get some friggin sleep!"...

cg

hungry??

please, please, please go see mrs. candy's current posting ...she has a clip she found about a restaurant that specializes in penises...it is both interesting and hilarious!...

cg

"soldier boy, oh my little soldier boy!"

so he has been calling and texting and calling and texting...enough!...i told him he needs to focus and not call me at ridiculous hours of the morning, noon, and night...i dont always have my phone on me...or it is on silent...

then...musician called...honestly, he is really nice...there is a nice, quick-witted banter between us that i havent felt in a long time...i enjoy that fast-paced teasing and joking around, but people are either too silly or not quick enough...

will it develop into anything more?...not really sure...he has a seriously hectic schedule and i know he really loves what he does...

and, no, nothing sexual or anything like that...perhaps because when we met things were a bit different so getting into anything serious would feel strange...

the holidays are upon us...what is on my wish list...

hmm...some movies, some music, some books...weird, i cant really think of anything major that i want...it always comes and goes...

what's on your "secret" santa list?...

curious minds want to know...

cg

tmi tuesday #163

1. What are your turn-ons?

intelligence, when a guy can use his hands to create or build things, grill skillz, when a guy will just let me be who i am and accept that i am absolutely insane without trying to figure me out

2. What are your turn-offs?

telling me what to do...it'll never work and i will never listen, being clingy and needy, not liking football, someone who loves the mall

3. Not counting your turn-ons, what's the best trait a person can have?

the ability to make me smile...even when i dont feel like it...and not by "campy" humor

4. Not counting your turn-offs, what's the worst trait a person can have?

no passion...for life or anything...even if there is one thing that moves a person...but to have no passion...is hard for someone like me...

5. What's your biggest pet peeve?

hmm..i dont know really...i'll have to think on this one...


Bonus (as in optional):Describe your best and worst experience. (experience of what???)

cg

end of the year thoughts

it's chilly outside today...gray clouds in the sky...absolutely "thinking" weather for me...so here i sit, looking out the window at the dreary weather outside and i wondered...what have i learned about myself and others this past year?...we always look to the future when we think about new years...so much so that we forget where we started and the road we've trod during those last several months...here is a list of my own musings...

"what i learned this past year"

1. i am infinitely more sexual than i ever realized

2. sexually curious people are some of the nicest, most open people i've encountered

3. i still havent figured out how to finish things...i try to do too many at one time...

4. blood is thinner than watered wine

5. i am getting older (fuck!)

6. freedom is being able to make certain choices without making excuses for them

7. even freedom has its price

8. i miss the rush of my immersion into music

9. the push for conformity is intensely strong in america

10. i continue to struggle with my desire to reisist conformity within the ring of conformity in which we live

11. if you wait long enough, things usually settle

i would love to hear any of your thoughts about your past year...some of you have emailed me things that relate to this topic...feel free to either email me your thoughts, make a post of your own, or reply in the comments...

cg

"oh, shit" moment

we were talking about music (musician, he play guitar) and he was playing samples of songs that his band covers...actually, they arent bad...it's all about having fun and enjoying the pulses and beats...anyhow, after a while we played a game where he just played a clip of a song and i had to guess the song...lots of classic rock and things like that...

at the end of this, he busts out with those three little words this curious girl cringes to hear...all i could think was "oh, shit"...then.."what the fuck?? are you serious??"...we met where he was playing one night and just talked off and on...we rarely see each other...and our conversations are completely non-sexual...so i asked him about it and he said, "oh, i say that everyone - sometimes i tell my buddies, 'hey, man, i love you, take it easy'"...

...

and this is why i dont find those words all that believable when i hear those words...people fling them about as if saying "hi" and "bye"...which is fine...but then when someone says "i feel this for you"...i cannot help but think "yeah, right, sure...you THINK you feel those things"...

that isnt to say that there arent a handful of people that, when they say them, i know that what they feel is true...and once or twice in my life i felt that flutter within when i heard those words...and once or twice in my life i felt a flutter within when i said those words...

anyhow, musician pipes up..."what, were you thinking 'oh, shit' when i said that?" and he laughed...yeah, pretty much!...

cg

warm apple pie

in honor of the ridiculously now-pointless "holiday" of thanksgiving (c'mon, people, it's just an excuse to fill the need to be excessive...there is NO true spirit of thanksgiving)...anyhow...one of the pies at this year's wine-fest (aka "thanksgiving") was apple pie...thus emerged the conversation...does it really feel like warm apple pie?...go watch the first "american pie" movie if you dont know what i am talking about...

the men visibly shivered...here are a few of their comments:

"shit, if i stuck my dick into something that felt that sticky, i'd be checking for the expiration date"

"there should not be lumpy apples in there, that's all i have to say"

"i dont think i ever want to have sex again - i am going to be thinking that there is a treasure trove of sliced gooey apples in there - and once i stick my dick in there, i dont think it will ever come out"

happy post-thanksgiving to all you fuckers out there!...er, i meant that in the nicest way possible!

cg

stress, remembrance, and "sexy talk"

thanks to those of you who sent me emails...sometimes when i am away from here for an extended time i feel like you may wander off indefinitely...it's always nice to know that you care! :)

i have been very stressed off and on for the last year since my father passed away, although i did not realize it...the doctors seem to think that all that stress is giving me hormonal issues...up and down, in and out my hormones have raged...leaving me tearful, exhausted, and confused...for a woman with hormonal issues, this means problems with your monthly flow...not fun, let me tell you...

anyhow...this month was a tough one for me...it marked the one year anniversary of my father's death...and i had no idea how hard that was for me...at one point i was sitting on the floor, laughing about a particularly funny Thanksgiving, when i suddenly began to cry...i just miss him so much at times...the one man guaranteed to piss me off royally...but he understood me in ways that only one or two others can...i am my father's daughter...

earlier this week i was having an interesting conversation with my sister regarding what she calls "sexy talk"...evidently her current SO sucks big time in this department...she is trying to teach him, but he just laughs...he actually gets embarrassed...he isnt used to it...hard to imagine a 30 y/o man hesitant to try sex talk...reminds me of that mormon newlywed guy from "forgetting sarah marshall"...

is sex talk really that hard for men?...he couldnt even tell her "i want to fuck you"...he just erupted into fits of giggles...yes...giggles...he told her he always laughs when he talks about sex...he cant help it...

is this is a rarity or is this more common than this female realizes?...curious minds would like to know...

cg

back soon

just a quick note to let you know that i will be back within a day or two...been having some minor health issues that have taken up a lot of my time this week...hoping to have things back on schedule this weekend!...

cg

celebration of self

the last few days have been busy ones, what with the halloween festivities and all...i have a few projects that i have been working on (not to mention the texas tech/texas game tonight!)....i had full intentions of posting something different today...but something happened last night that made me think about people...and blogging...and human sexuality...

my sister and i went out to our neighborhood bar last night...a great band was playing and so many people were in costume...i enjoyed looking at the different costumes and thinking about the people there...we like to make up stories about the people we see when we are out...our own little form of entertainment, i suppose...

i had encountered a young woman that was clearly past inebriation and teetering on the edge of passing out while mid-step...her eyes were barely opened as she stumbled to the bathroom...she left the door to the stall open while she struggled with her costume to relieve herself...i asked her if she was okay...she mumbled, eyes closed, and nearly fell...

she was alone as far as i could see and i mentioned it to my sister...we watched her come out of the bathroom to see if she was with someone...we've done this and told their party that the person was clearly unable to function in the bathroom...she fell against a table where three young men were sitting...my sister recognized them, one in particular had hit on her several times, each time forgetting he had done it previously..."he's a good guy", the waittress would tell us, but we never put much store into what people say...

within minutes, they were kissing, and though he was clearly drunk, one of his friends was not...they continued to ply the girl with more alcohol...this girl who could not keep her eyes open and could not stand on her own two feet...

at some point, she was seated on her barstool and she fell backward and landed on her head...she was immobile...my sister rushed to her side while the men stared and stepped back...they were probably in shock and disbelief...i called out to our bartender and she flew around the counter to the girl and my sister...with a small crowd gathering around the girl, i stayed with our purses and watched the people...

someone called to another bartender to call 911...the guy who had been kissing her had his hands in his face, his friend rubbing his back...i read his lips..."it's not your fault...it's not your fault" as he shook his head...

although the EMTs arrived in less than five minutes, it seemed forever...several of the women around her continued dancing while they watched my sister and another person try to squeeze the girl's hand and keep her conscious...my sister's hands were covered in blood...thick and dark red...

she went behind the bar counter where they poured 151 and Purell all over her hands...

i was utterly disgusted and disappointed...why the hell did these guys continue to buy drinks for this girl after watching her nearly fall while standing several times...

i thought about it a lot today...and those words "it's not your fault" kept running through my head...fault is never a simple place...it is an encompassing arena of choices made and choices not made...

we come to the blogworld to celebrate ourselves and those we interact with...we celebrate the things we love about ourselves...but the things we dont?...well, that is never our fault...someone or something else is always to blame...we freeze before the roadblocks to our own success and happiness because it isnt the right time or because we "cant"...

here, we open up and learn something about ourselves...and we want to share it with others...

but what if we dont like what we find...is it our fault?...if i am disappointed in my sexual development, is it someone else's fault?...or is that simply a simple route to victimization...

i watched those guys...stand back...look around for a way out...but they were by the exit and it was blocked by people...girls were standing around her "oh! i love this song!" and dancing around the body of this young woman...

what is there to cheer to when we celebrate ourselves?...were we heroic in the face of true danger?...were we vigilant in the assistance of another?...or did we simply do the right thing when the time came....

forgive me, i am rambling...my thoughts are unclear and my words are imprecise...

it's been a long month...fighting against words and accusations at work have made me think poorly of humanity in general...i guess i just want people to be nice because it's the right thing to do...

(okay, okay...you can be mean...IF it's warranted...lol)

cg

TMI Tuesday #158 - Firsts!!!

First names and approximate age is fine too many of you aren't anonymous and too many of you wish to stay anonymous.

1. Who and when was your first crush?

my first crush was a boy in my kindergarten class named danny...*sighs*...he was sooo cute with his blue jean jacket...

2. Who and when was your first date?

my first date...lol...i was in the eighth grade...his name was robert...and it was a school dance...we met in the school cafeteria and he had a flower for me...but we didnt dance until the end because all the boys were on one side and all the girls were on the other...lol...it was funny tho...and at the end he walked me to my parents' car and gave me a kiss...it was sweet...

3. Who and when was your first kiss?

does the answer to #3 count??

4. Who and when was your first partner while "fooling around" in car?

his name was tim...we were both 18....and i didnt have a single clue he liked me until other people pointed it out...he was driving me home from the movies one night...and we spent some time in the parking lot...then there was "lovers' lane"...yes, where i come from there is an actual "lovers' lane"...it is a street that dead ends into a duck pond...oh, that brings back so many memories...

5. Who and when was your first partner while "fooling around" in a house?

hell, i dont think i can remember that one...must not have been a good experience! lol

6. Who and when was your first love?

ben...i still remember the last time i saw him...although, i dont know what kind of love it was, really...

Bonus: Who's blog did you first comment on?

it was a long time ago and i dont think they keep it up anymore...sharingdee...anyone remember that blog?...

happy tuesday!

cg

tease and denial

i read a recent post over at bdenied that invited me to take a closer look on my evolving view of all things sexual...he essentially explained the difference between tease and denial and flat out denial...

and he summed it up pretty well...

a part of me has always been intrigued by this sort of sexual play, even though i did not fully understand what i was doing or follow through most of the time...i just knew that some things just didnt work as far as turning me on...

example: soldier boy, while sweet and kind, would sometimes try "dirty talk" with me...but calling me a "slut" had me disinterested and bored...not angry or irritated...BORED...he would immediately gauge my disinterest..."i can tell you didnt like that"...

example: trying to get me to say/do things i do not want to do lowers my arousal to almost nothing...i know for some, that coercion factor can be a great sexual ploy...but for me it wasnt...i became that woman that just wants to hurry up and get it over with...it was unthrilling...and maybe that is why so many women do move to this place...because they are in sexual relationships that are not fulfilling all their needs...not just physical...maybe because they dont know what they need and only think that they do...

i had, however, been in a very brief relationship (which i have mentioned before) maybe two or three years ago (probably closer to three) when i was with a male nurse who really enjoyed a more forceful female...now here i got a serious thrill...he had obviously been experienced with a dominant woman...sometimes, i would tease him and not let him cum...i would tell him not to touch himself for long periods of time and he ENJOYED this...and so did i...i would just tell him "you cant touch yourself, because i'm not ready"....or..."you cant cum until i tell you to"...

had i always been this way?...i'll admit, in the past i had toyed with the tease and denial but i was not experienced enough and i think most men in general arent prepared to allow a woman with that kind of control sexually...

men want women to be free sexually, but they dont always realize that for some of us, to be free sexually, is to be allowed to take control...to dictate and to give their partner the gift of being able to let go...i do not like being controlled sexually...it does nothing for me...my thoughts drift to the non-sexual and i lose interest...fast...

what drives me in the tease/denial is that i enjoy pushing that other person to certain places they would not normally consider...i know how aroused they become and that makes me even more aroused myself...i want them to feel sexually stimulated to a breaking point where they cant think...where they are in it to see just how far they can go...

i know that i am setting the pace for their sexual energy to blossom...and i know that i can control how high and low the energy will hum...

for both of us...

cg

what turns you on?

as i lay here in bed nursing a wee hangover, i find myself flipping through movies (gotta love youtube)...and i landed on a clip from "braveheart" with mel gibson...and i think to myself, why does a scottish accent always make me grin from ear to ear?...

it isnt mel gibson that i'm hot after...he's alright...it's the accent of all those scotsman in the movie...

that led me to the question: what turns people on and why?...alright, so that's two questions..but you get the idea...

for me...

it's the way a man uses his hands...

his dark eyes...

his quiet voice...

the way a man uses his mind...

the way he lets me lead...

the way he lets me follow...

the way he never gives up on me...

the way he learns to let go of me...

the way he holds me when he knows i'm scared...

the way he pushes me when i cant push myself...

and all this without a single touch...

what turns you on...and why...

cg

EDIT: okay, so i just watched james mcavoy interviews...wowsa...his accent...but he has blue eyes...eh...maybe i'll make an exception...lol...

the origins of sexual curiosity

curiosity, is innate...children are born with a desire to question and learn about their environment..so when does this curiosity shift towards the sexual?...or is it always there, hidden in the unknown realm of our inner being?...

i remember my mother remarking on my own personal curiosities...just typical things, i suppose...but i have read of others whose own sexual interests began we before hormones and such began kicking in...although i had an early sexual experience that was not of my own choice, i often wonder if my curiosities are a result of that experience or if the curiosities would still be present irregardless?...

i remember, once, finding a book that my parents got as a "bonus" through purchasing these children's bible stories books or something...it was called "to have and to hold"...i remember my mother flipping through it and somehow it ended up in a box in the garage...

i picked that book up one day and was mesmerized by what i saw...there were a lot of words (that i did not bother to read) and some pictures (not real, just images) of men and women in various sexual activities...the book was supposed to support a healthy sexual relationship between married couples...

over the years, i would periodically run into that book and my father's Playboy mags and i was so enthralled by the images...they were utterly fascinating...and i was curious to know more about the people who shared their bodies with the world...

what about your origins of sexual curiosity?...

cg

TMI Tuesday #157

TMI Tuesday #157



1. Have you ever felt guilty or ashamed after a sexual experience?

yes...the first time i had sex...my religious upbringing...i felt like i was "sinning"...and the first time wasnt even that great...lol...

2. Did you ever own a fake ID?

oh, hell no...i used to think those were only in the movies...

3. How often do you tell white lies? Is it with or without thinking?

i am a woman...we tell white lies ALL THE TIME...and if you are a woman and you say you dont...you LIE!...honestly, though...we lie to ourselves most often...

4. On a scale of 1-10, how well do you receive constructive criticism?

i am more critical of myself than anyone else could be...but i will admit that i do get prickly at times when i dont want to hear it, realize that it is true, or if it comes from someone whose opinion really matters to me...

5. Have you ever shaved your pubic hair?

silly question..

Bonus: What percentage of women do you think are capable of handling being in a "friends with benefits" relationship? How about men?

that is a tough one...i think more women could do it if they really wanted to, but i do think it is easier for most men...percentages?...i hate numbers...let's say 30 percent of women and 68 percent of men...

cg

skim, 2%, or white russian?

seems that the topic for today in the blogosphere has been vanilla sex talk with both percy and miss i making references to it in their blogs...so it got me thinking...how vanilla can a person get...and i have come up with a handy-dandy reference chart for those times you are in bed with your SO (sexual other) and wondering..."what is vanilla sex??"

here we go!

Skim milk - this is the barest of the bare...we are talking no love words or sex talk, no foreplay, just push up the old lady's flannel nightgown, stroke a couple of times, cum once then roll over and snore...this is ALWAYS missionary position....there is NEVER oral sex or any kind of holding or kissing...porn is a four letter word here...masturbation what??...

2% milk - this is a for those totally Christian lovers that hold true to their church's teachings (do NOT send in hater-ade comments, we are all here to learn - even you Bible humpers, er, thumpers...this category is for those that do enjoy kissing and some amounts of holding...married women of thirty years will reach for their husband's schtick only if they have to...they may TRY an alternate sexual position...MAYBE doggie-style...there may be some soft words in the "afterglow", but nothing risque...porn is still a four-letter word but you KNOW he secretly checks out porn while at the office at work or when wifey isnt home or asleep in bed...and he jacks off when he can...she might, too, but not too often...oral sex happens once in a very blue moon...when the moon is as blue as his balls...

whole milk - here is where things will get a little more interesting...we are still very much in the realm of vanilla, but this couple will check out porn together...nothing too heavy and never anything kinky...just straight up couples fucking (although he will definitely check out tons of other kinky shit when she isnt around)...they are okay with masturbating in front of each other and they enjoy oral sex...they will opt for missionary, doggie, 69, cowgirl/reverse cowgirl...that is kinky for them...he is still the one in control for the most part...we begin to see a few sex toys in a special box...

baileys on the rocks - now we are skirting the edges of vanilla...this is where there are blurring of lines...this is where some edge play takes place...they experiment in some role play, maybe a role reversal where she is taking the lead...this couple has a modest assortment of sexual accessories...he may even be interested in some anal stimulation...there may be light bondage and some definite talks of more intense fetishes or fantasies...they may toy with the idea of a sexually open relationship, but chances are, this is just a part of the fantasy mode because they really arent up to this...this couple has definite streaks of exhibitionism...they are just one more splash of baileys away from having an open relationship...

bailey's and kahlua - they have taken things to a new level...they are open sexually to a point (this isnt about cuckolding...yet...that will be more kahlua and less bailey's lol...) and they both enjoy more serious edge play...they dont have a toy box...they have a fucking closet...they enjoy vanilla sex, but they need more edgy activities here and there to keep things interesting...they enjoy pushing that envelope...their sexuality is not just an extention of their relationship...it reflects who they are...they are getting into darker realms with candlewax on the nipples, spankings, fucking in public places, the idea of getting caught is a big arousal factor at times...

white russian - this is it...this couple pushes the limits knowing that one day they may push too far, but they cant stop because they are so turned on by it...there is a huge emotional factor here...because they push to the limit but there is a concern at times that they are going to go too far...they have extensive sex accessories...they have invested time and money into their sexual actitivities and they may enjoy sex in front of others, cuckolding, orgasm withholding, CBT, heavier bondage, more intense spankings, etc...there may also be interests in humiliation...they may have a more permanent relationship with D/s or something along those lines...this is a part of who they are...it isnt just something that they play around with...it is real and not for plain milk drinkers...

did i leave anything out?...this was just a quick overview...so, where do you fall in line...i would LOVE to hear everyone's thoughts on this one...lol...

cg

the return of EHB

just when i thought i was free from EHB a little bird flew into my life and said, "beware of the EHB!"...

so, evidently she has resorted to informing the entire family that we are not speaking to her because we are upset with her...

she said "cg and her sisters aren't talking to me, did you hear? *dramatic sigh from EHB* "they are mad at me, so since they wont speak to me and they left all their father's things at my house, everyone needs to come over and pick out what they want of [cg's dad]"...

the lying EHB!...and she has flown further off her rocker by alienating more of her siblings through her crazy antics...she evidently harassed one of my uncles at her sister's house...the other aunt (whose house they were all at) was told by her 20-something daughter of the harassment....when EHB was told she could not do that in her sister's house, EHB flared into hysterics and said that she wanted to know who was accusing her of such things...yeah, right, like the Nice Aunt is reallygoing to out her own daughter for EHB to tear into tiny bite-sized pieces!...

needless to say, EHB fled the house and it has been a source of tension since...

what goes around comes around, EHB...at least us girls had the courtesy and respect to simply let go and walk away...we never told anyone in the family except our mother...she assumes we told everyone else...that is GUILT eating you up...actually, i think she is terribly overextended over the last several years dealing with lots of family issues that she WILLINGLY took on...no one forced her to...she chose to make a martyr of herself...

anyhow, that was my little update!

cg

when i think about you i touch myself

sometimes the image a particular person comes unbidden to my mind for no particular reason...and i am suddenly filled with this intense sexual arousal...my body starts to undulate slowly and my thighs press together...i am overwhelmed by the scent of this person...i can still smell him after all this time...

images flood my brain, sending shock waves of desire to every pulsing part of my body...i lay there struggling to sleep but know that release can be my only path to night's sleep...

my senses are further stimulated by the scent of my arousal...i touch, taste, and smell myself...i twist, tease, and torment myself to a heightened state of sexual arousal...

i spread my lips and stretch myself...my fingers are completely drenched in my juices...i want it to last forever...

and then it ends it a tidal wave of convulsions...each leading to another and another...i lay there still shivering...before finally falling asleep...

cg

"you can have my cherry"

i am babysitting for a friend tonight...her very precocious five-year-old sdaughter has told her mother AND father on more than one occasion over the years "cg has pretty bras, mom, you should go shopping with her and get some like hers!"...she has been with me when i have done my laundry and says "my mom needs bras like these! she only wears white ones"...

her father laughs and says "oh, really?"...it is an ongoing joke now that one of these days i will take my friend to get some bras that her husband will enjoy...

anyhow, tonight as we were driving in the car, she pipes up from her car seat in the back, "hey, will you tie a cherry stem in your mouth?...my mom and dad said that you know how"...

my sister quips "she doesnt have a cherry", to which sis and i both laugh...

we go to the restaurant for dinner and she asks the waiter for some cherries in a bowl...he sets them down and smiles at her "you must like cherries"...

to which she replies "they are for cg...she doesnt have a cherry and she needs one...here, cg, you can have my cherry...did you know she can tie a cherry stem in a knot with her mouth?...my dad says she can tie a DOUBLE knot in her mouth!"

ah, out of the mouths of babes...

cg

do football players use a dental dam??

before you even start with me, no, i most certainly did NOT ask that question...i can, however, state that i did hear several crickets after that question...

this morning as my sister was watching good morning america, she paid special attention to the part about the increase in oral cancers that are linked to the HPV...they are suggesting that there is an increase due to the fact that many people are engaging in unprotected oral sex...

anyhow, as we were in the car, she asks "i can see how you would use protection when going down on a guy, you'd use a condom or something, right?"...or something, lol...

yes, i told her, that is why they also suggest using a dental dam...she paused for a moment...

"do football players use a dental dam?...to protect their mouths when they play?"

...

after several long seconds, i felt i was calm enough that i would not start laughing at her and i exlained what it was that football players use and what a dental was....she was mortified...she said "i am so glad i asked you because i was going to ask New Guy if he used a dental dam when he played football!"

oh, boy...

cg

TMI Tuesday #156 - Foresight

(in lieu of a "real" post, i thought i would try something a little different...i've read other blogs that participate and i thought it would be fun to do...let me know if you think i should keep doing this on tuesdays...here goes!)


1. What do you do that sends a clear signal to your partner that you're interested in an intimate evening?

hmm...that is a tough one...because i think i send opposite signals...confusing i know...but i am very orally fixated, being a talker and all, so i will lick my lips and make them more noticeable...i have been told that my eyes change color a little and my voice changes...

2. How important is foreplay to an exciting evening?

it is EVERYTHING!...i have learned to really extend the arousal time as much as possible...the orgasms are so much better...

3. What is the first thing you do during foreplay or what is the first thing you like done to you?

honestly, i love for my breasts to be played with ...but they are not super sensitive so they require a lot of attention...

4. Are you a one and done kind of partner (20 minutes or so) or do you like intimacy sessions longer than 60 minutes?

hmm...that depends...i am usually the type that wants to talk or rolls over and goes to sleep...the first guy i ever slept with used to want to talk...but i just wanted to sleep...lol

BONUS: If you are interested in sex with a same-sex partner, what would be the first thing you'd like to touch on that other person, and why? (For those already in same sex relationships...what was the first thing you touched, or if you were interested in a relationship with the opposite sex, what would be the first thing you touched?)

same-sex - breasts...well, because i like to touch my own lol

opposite sex - hands...i love the feel of solid hands...they always make me feel so ...small and vulnerable, yet i amazed at how strong they feel...the electricity that can be felt between two hands is incredible...


and that ends this week's TMI!

cg

the best part

about a close shave?...lathering on lovely smelling lotions or balms...my fingers smell of jasmine...the same jasmine i used to soothe my skin after i shave...damn, i wish i could lick myself to see how i taste right now at this moment....

hmm...do men ever feel that way when they shave their two bits?...i wonder...

cg

friday night lights (out)

i realized that i neglected to inform everyone of a mildly interesting event friday night...no, nothing remotely sexual...after dealing with the travails of womanly ails, my sister and i decided to have a little girls' night in...

we bought some wine and made a little picnic on her bed while we sat and watched terrible sci fi movies...do not EVER consume an entire bottle of wine in less than an hour...strange things happen....

we each had our own bottle of wine...but i was drinking a lovely red...in truth, i dont know what the fuck kind it was, i just liked the bottle...things got very funny and as i was shaking my head in laughter, my sister tipped my glass causing it to slosh around and spill onto my shirt...

or so we thought...

for some reason the ends of my ponytail were wet...and the back of my shirt had several wet spots...in my inebriation, i had splashed red wine all over her sheets and my shirt....with my hair...doh!...

she laughed and laughed so hard she fell off the bed with a THUMP!...i set my glass down on the chair next to her bed...."grab my hand! i'll save you!" i cry out as i extend my hand to the rolling girl on the floor...

"quick! take my hand! no! dont roll under the bed!"...suddenly i realize...i have to pee.."i'll be right back!"...off i race to the bathroom, not a moment to lose...hell, i had to pee AND i just spilled wine on my shirt...into the sink went the shirt where i let it soak over night ( yes, stains still there)...after taking care of business in the potty, i race back to my sister's bedroom...where she is STILL ON THE FLOOR...

yes, i saved her from the floor...and she was very grateful...until she saw the red spots on her pink sheets..."bitch! you spilled wine all over my bed!"..."wait! i have an idea!"...i stumble half blindly to the kitchen and found what i was looking for under the kitchen sink...without warning, i sprayed foaming carpet cleaner all over her bed...."what the hell are you doing?? that's carpet cleaner!!"...

oops...

for some reason i had the brilliant idea that a bottle of wine was sure to cure my sore throat...guess what...i woke up with my throat hurting worse than before...

moral of the story: a bottle of wine is no cure for a sore throat...

cg

sing me a song

said musician when he called tonight...rather than get into a lengthy post about the conversation, here is our conversation as best as i can recall it...

musician: hey, sweetie, how you feelin'? (please note the west texas accent)

cg: good and yourself? (please note NO real texas accent - well, maybe just a little)

musician: i just wanted you to know that we came in second place tonight! (his blues band in some contest)

cg: really?? that's great! i bet you are so excited!

musician: yeah! hey, are you feeling alright there, sweetie? you sound a bit on the poor side.

cg: i wasnt feeling all that well this weekend - my throat was bothering me on friday and by saturday i was really not feeling well.

musician: oh, i am sorry to hear that. you need someone to make you a nice bit of hot soup and tuck you into bed (he chuckles)

cg: that is very sweet of you (laughs softly)

musician: (sighs) you sure do have the prettiest laugh - just so soft and sweet - and the voice of an angel (okay, so he's laying it on thick - but this is TEXAS ya'll!!)

cg: um, okay (laughs - what the hell do i say to that??)

musician: hey, listen, i am coming to your parts (of the state, people, get it straight!) next month and wanted to know if you wanted to hang out. i could help you with that song you've been working on (on my dad's guitar)

cg: that would have to depend on when you are coming into town...it's a really busy time...actually i need to get those strings you suggested.

musician: well, i could pick up the strings and put them on the guitar for you and get it tuned up real nice. maybe we could have a little jam session, you know i love to hear you sing.

cg: i havent sung in a very long time, you know that

musician: sweetie, your voice sends shivers down my spine. just hearing your voice is like a melody to my ears (laughs) i know, i probably sound stupid for saying it, but there it is.

cg: (laughs)

musician: i hear your voice and i can see your eyes, those beautiful expressive eyes that are always hiding something...i know, i know...we are supposed to be just friends...but you have to know how compelling they are.

cg: thank you for the compliment...i dont know what to say, to be honest

musician: nothing...anything...(laughs)...i dont know that i have ever encountered a woman quite like you, cg...i mean, you dont exactly let me come close at all....it's like you sit there, with that sweet voice and those big eyes and keep me at arm's length...is it just me?

cg: no, it is me...always has been...very few have gotten past this point...i did warn you....

the conversation is similar to so many others i have had over the years...i just cannot let anyone get too close...and i wish i knew why...i draws some in and irritates others...i have been accused of playing games...but it isnt that...they just dont understand...and i dont know if they ever will...

it's like the whole kissing post...everyone only commented on how i was denying myself pleasure and what not...when that isnt the point...or maybe it is...i dont know....maybe it is a very intense form of introversion...bleh...

ding dong, therapy calling!

cg

sexy math

once again, tom has managed to make me fall over with laughter...and twist my head in confusion...tom, where in the world do you find this stuf???...

who knew math could be so sexy...

cg

phallic desires

no, i am not talking about myself...rather a male friend of mine who has been struggling with his sexual orientation for a very long time...and i truly feel for him...he was once engaged to someone he thought he love with all his heart...but even then...tiny seeds of doubt were being sown...

some days he was haunted by thoughts of cock lodged in his mouth as the warm taste of cum poured past his lips...he kept his thoughts private for so long...when the relationship ended (she cheated on him), he was overwhelmed with thoughts of love lost and his sexual urges that it sent him into a downward spiral of depression...

as the years went by, he settled unconsciously into a cycle of "i want a cock in my mouth" to "fuck that, i am not into guys at all...it was just a phase"...two years ago when we first met, i was the first one he opened up to about his desires....they plagued him constantly...no matter his urge, be it men or woman, i was supportive and listened to him spill the convoluted workings of his mind...

even when he found a woman that he felt a good connection with, there were still times when he would masturbate to the fantasy of giving head to a "sweet boi"...at one point, he even bought a dildo to practice his oral desires...then, in a moment of panic, he threw it away...

when he speaks of his lust for another man, he sounds very heavy with sexual desire...almost overwhelmed with the wave of passion that builds...then, by the next day, he almost ashamed of his thoughts and says "i am over it...i want a wife and a family"...even when i suggest that he find an open-minded woman...that his sexuality does not necessarily have to mean that he cannot be a father...the two are unrelated, he shakes his head and the sound of a heavy metal door slams shut on the things that he truly wants...

i know that when he is in a gay-men-are-fags-i-want-to-fuck-a-woman mode, he does NOT want to talk about his sexuality...

some days he fears that people can sense his bi-curiosity...sometimes i just want to tell him to get over himself...but i dont...i just listen...because i know he has only a handful of people he talks to about it all...

i feel for him, but my patience grows thin...the constant jerking back and forth about it wears on me...i never know what i am supposed to support...his bisexual desires or his heterosexual dreams...sexuality is sexuality irregardless...it doesnt need subcategories...

cg

love boudoir

evidently someone submitted my blog to love boudoir...thanks to the person that did it...i havent been a featured blog, but i was listed on their blogroll which is still nice...

cg

bargain bins

this morning the wickedly witty aneris and i were having a chat about men...shocker, i know...if men only knew half of the things women say to each other they would cringe in delight, fear, and consternation...lol...

anyhow, here is a snippet of our conversation this morning:

Aneris: right, he thinks he has the power b/c he has the gold but please...

if we are just travel buddies, then ok. but do not text me and call and all that

no need to act like we are in love

me: oh he does it because he thinks that is his role...if he can put things in their little cubbies then it is easier for him to make himself feel better

Aneris: very very true. you are so damn smart

Aneris: i am almost ready to be shipped off to krypton
this world is not my home

these men are insane

Aneris: i think men do not want to be with us when we clearrly state we want $$$$

me: of course not, because then it doesnt fit into their little dream bubble of how a woman should be

Aneris: so, i closed my acct. the guys were either aggressive or old and bossy

some geezer-67-wants a mstress

but he thinks that he can screw her like every week

me: on his terms, i am sure

Aneris: so, he tells me that i am sexy but too far

me: ah, so the woman is perfect but inconvenient...like shopping through the bargain bins at a closeout retail chain

Aneris: of course. i told him he is not poor and he has flyer miles, make it happen or no but stop with the talking.

Aneris: yes. CG, is it wrong to expect a man to do more than stick his weenie into me?

me: lmfao...hey, it is your life...you make your own rules...and if you dictate that you want more than to offer free sex to these men, that is your choice...your freedom...

so these are the ramblings of two women on a saturday morning...*sighs*...it wont make sense to most of you, and you may form instant opinions or judgments based on this conversation...do as you like...or do what we do...get a glass of wine and jump into a delightful conversation that pushes your thoughts far past anything you ever thought you would want to know...;)

cg

a kiss is just a kiss

sometimes i feel like julia roberts from the movie "pretty woman" where she has her idiosyncratic rule about "no kissing on the lips"...what is it about kissing that is so very intimate...so much so, that for me it is like being naked in a room full of people...sexual act of physical intimacy is different, because the sensations are different...when you kiss someone, you can smell, taste, touch, hear, and see them...all right in one place...

i tend to pull away from kisses even though i love kissing...it is so intimate...so dark, heavy, and rich...except the bad ones...then they are just lame, gross, and messy...

but the ones that i really want to kiss i always turn away from...why is that...am i afraid of what i may find after our lips meet and the tongue tango begins?...

the more intimate i feel towards/with a person, the less likely i am to kiss them...anti-climatic fears, perhaps?...who knows...in the meantime, i will kiss the ones i dont want to kiss...

and refuse to kiss the ones i yearn to kiss...

i never said i made sense, lol...

cg

sexual lubricant

"god made alcohol as a sexual lubricant" - from the film "just like heaven"

ah, yes, the infamous sexual lubricant otherwise known as alcohol...countless websites are devoted to young men and women drowning themselves in fermented drink only to disrobe in front of a camera and perform various forms of sexual activities with/to one another....

at first taste, the cold liquid slides down your throat then shimmies into your stomach, releasing a trail of warmth...for some, an instant urge to purge the bladder follows...once the flood gates are opened, the full force of the alcoholic monsoon ensues...small sips give way to long, thirst-quenching gulps...everything seems louder, funnier, and you yourself seem waaay more intelligent than the average bear...every song is either you FAVORITE song that you absolutely must sing along with or so awful you howl and moan throughout the shitful piece of music...

somewhere in between the fire curling in your esophagus and the instant rock star you have just become, it hits you...you are damn horny...

for some, any warm body will do...for guys, if it's got tits, it'll do...for gals, if it's got an endless stream of drinks with coherent conversation, it'll do...

for others, all your horniness sings in a beeline straight for one person in particular...you can actually feel your pheromones emanating from you and making circles around your fuck target...oh, you do what you can to get their attention, but, alas, it doesnt always work...ten drunk texts, four phone calls, and one email later you arent horny, you are pissed...

so what do you do?...pass out, vow NEVER to send another drunk text again....then do it all over again...

cg

and the winner is...

wingnut...congratulations!...you did your google work well, sir!...when i posted the "contest" i listed as the "prize" a phone call with me...if that is something you are interested in, let me know!

everyone - a round of applause to the winner of our first contest!

oh!...and i think comfy has a contest on her blog as well, so make sure you check it out!!

cg

i do

ten things to think about before considering marriage (conventional or otherwise)....

1. you will have to share a bathroom - men, if you leave your razor in there - she will use it (not to mention all the hair that women leave behind in a shower (okay, so i have long hair and my hair gets everywhere)

2. you will have to share a bathroom - women, if you buy cute towels they wont be cute for long - it wont be long before you see pieces of them cut into "scraps" in the garage....dont say i didnt warn you!

3. you will have to share a bed - sexual activity aside, there are issues of temperature, covers, pillows, sleeping space, snoring (hey, women snore, too!)

4. you will have to share a garage - for something that is supposed to house vehicles, men have some pretty well-defined ideas of how they want "their" garage to look...and it stands to reason for the most part because women typically dictate the decor/etc of the house in general while the men guard their "man-caves" like ebenezer with his gold...

5. you will have to share the television - as a football fan, do you know how many men i have encountered that do NOT like to watch games??...in my family, i am the only person...PERSON...that likes football...wtf??...

6. you will be accountable to another person (to a certain degree)...no more running out at midnight to the store or with friends...most spouses would be very suspicious of that behavior...

7. you will part of a new group of couples-only - as much as you will try to keep separate friends and such, it wont work...why not?...because your friends will want to "double-date" (which is a stupid word - four people still make it ONE date) then the women become friends (or not!) which adds another dilemma...

8. you will have to be around your SO's friends - which sucks if you dont like them...

(i dont have 9 and 10 because i am a lame loser who cant think atm)

anyhow, go out and get married, live in sin, join an orgy - makes no never mind to me - i get to sleep in my own bed, piss in my own toilet when i want (i dont have to wait for anyone), and i watch the tv when i want...unless my sister wants to watch something, in that case we try to be the first one to turn it on and hoard the remote....

cg

guess what

question: what leaves me feeling fully satisfied at the end, yet leaves my fingers aching and feeling stiff?? (hint - it was what i did last night and this afternoon - think outside of the box, people!)

offer your answers up to the curious girl...hmm...i suppose i should have a reward or something...it probably wont be nearly as exciting as some of you would like, though!...

maybe a phone call with cg herself! (no, not THAT kind of phone call lol)...we shall see...

cg

EDIT: i will offer up one clue per day...to make things more accessible for everyone - does that help, sugarbaby??


CLUE #1: what do lead, steel, and tortoises have in common (i am trying REALLY hard not to give it away guys - but this might give it away anyhow)

CLUE #2: it can have four, six, seven, eight, ten, or twelve with six being the most common
(no one has guessed correctly as yet)

CLUE #3: robert johnson

okay, if you dont have it by now...for shame!

"rear" view reflection

what is it about the fascination of all things anal that drive people to stretch and explore this tiny part of the human anatomy...it leads me to say just one thing...

ewww....

i am all for others exploring and pushing their orifices open wide for sexual pleasure...but it only brings one thing to mind....the scene from the film "evolution" with david duchovny and orlando jones when the doctors are attempting to retrieve an alien insect from the tush of orlando jones...

oddly enough, i am very much interested in others' experiences...it offers a different perspective...

the idea of anal pleasure for the public at large has been promoted through various films...it has become more common for men to massage anally whilst masturbating...

while writing this post, my ass cheeks reflex and quiver...but NOT in anticipation...quite the opposite...

but for so many, the idea of going on an ass-tastic voyage is just the little vacay they enjoy...

which one are you?

cg

complications

i love creating a post out of someone else's comment because the trail of thought that begins where another's ends is a delicious maze of loopy madness that never makes sense because it makes perfect sense...in this case, mnwhr said

"Life without complication is like eating cake, Great but I think it would get old after a while"


so very true...but predictive relations can be comfortable and warm like sheets fresh from the dryer...warm, soft, and clean-smelling...they are predictable and wonderful in their predictability...the warmth and the softness and the clean scent never get old...they are always, interestingly enough, refreshing and bring a smile to your face...

life with monotony would get old...life without complications would be like drifting in a boat with no oar where the weather was always perfect and the water was always clear and things just always seemed to work out...

but complications are the sweet in our salty and the salty in our sweet...a joy to some a disaster to others...it isnt the flavors that set us faulty...it is the perception of those tastes...

so, if it is in the perception, i say let them eat cake and then follow the cake with a nice cold beer...that should balance out those tastes...

cg

the awakening

the sun shimmers as it sets...the time between times...twilight has come...the magic time in ancient folklore...a sumptuous feast shall be set soon...the long slumber is ending...look out, look out wherever you are...i will find you...

my teeth will sink into your flesh in my dizzy race for sensorial exploration...your ears will ring with my call...your eyes will burn at my sight...

wait...that sounds too much like medusa coming out of the cave...or is that clay aiken coming out of the huge walk-in closet with spinning racks, custom lighting, and floor to ceiling shoe racks...

cg

(if i even have any more readers left...lol)

calling all boobies!!

attention boobies!!...run on over to comfy's blog where she has done an interview with cg's boobies (no pics ;)...if you like what you see, holler at comfy and tell her you want to be a featured guest on her boobie interviews...dork, you know that's you...we all know that you like showing your girls off ;)...

cg

the joys and not-so-joys of sex talk

because all i do is take everyone else's posts and use them for inspiration on my own blog (quick! tie down your blog posts or i will post them here ;)...today's inspiration comes from the uber curious collegehookerboy ...

CHB talks about the ins and outs of sex talk...which reminded me of my own experiences with sexually charged conversations...i am a very word-oriented person and aural stimulation does a lot for me...i enjoy using sex talk frequently...but it doesnt always work...for instance, you cant just come right out, in the middle of a conversation that has NOTHING remotely to do with sex in a nonchalant voice: so, you wanna such my cock?...because that does not work...my sexual arousal is directly related to the other person involved, so the more aroused they become the more aroused i become...there are a few people in the past that i was able to instantly become aroused when i heard their voice, irregardless of the content of conversation...arousal so intense that i would press my thighs together to alleviate some of the pressure that was building, the kind of pressure where you cannot sit still because all your girly bits are just screaming "fuck me!"...

what doesnt work for me is when a guy tries to call me his "slut"...hmm...it just never really turns me on....i mean, it may not turn me off completely, but it doesnt heighten the situation at all for me....i always wondered why that was...when a guy tries too much to tell me what to do and it involves too much direction: "you are my little slut, arent you...i want you to take your fingers and stick them in your ass...do it....do it"....stfu already, i will not do something that i dont want to do and when you keep insisting, it makes my desire go away....

i do like it when they use sexual conversation telling me how hard they get...i love love hearing how hard a guy is...because then it makes me want to feel that hardness...telling me you want to lick me and taste me is also really arousing....some guys can say "i want to fuck you so hard" and i am fucking horny as hell...other guys say the exact same thing and i get slighly irritated....no clue why...i think for some guys they just arent convincing and it feels like they are saying it to say it....i can hear it in a guy's voice when he hits that intense need to fuck....that overwhelming feeling of : my dick is so hard for you right now that i just want to feel my cock inside your wet pussy and hear the sounds of us fucking...i want you so bad that i am dripping so much pre-cum"...

*fans self*...is it getting hot in here?...

thoughts on sexual talk in/out of the bedroom?..

cg

the top 100

fuckin' tom over at edge of vanilla and his fun posts...i stole ANOTHER post from him so here it is....as many of you as possible do this and let me know in the comments section so i can take a look at your blog...this is our little reality show..."who's the biggest nerd?" (i got my money on dork or comfy ...;)



“Someone” reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they’ve printed. It’s not the Big Read though — they don’t publish books, and they’ve only featured these books so far. In any event . . .


1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you started but did not finish.
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Reprint this list in your own blog so we can try and track down these people who’ve read 6 or less and force books upon them.


1. The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
2. The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
3. The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
4. Lord of the Flies - William Golding
5. Life of Pi - Yann Martel
6. The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
7. The Color Purple - Alice Walker
8. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
9. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
10. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
11. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
12. Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
13. His Dark Materials (trilogy) - Philip Pullman
14. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
15. Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
16. The Hobbit - J.R.R. Tolkien
17. Catcher in the Rye - J.D. Salinger
18. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
19. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
20. Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
21. Chronicles of Narnia - C.S. Lewis
22. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe – C.S. Lewis
23. Winnie the Pooh - A.A. Milne
24. Animal Farm - George Orwell
25. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
26. Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
27. On The Road - Jack Kerouac
28. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
29. Charlotte’s Web - E.B. White
30. Hamlet - William Shakespeare
31. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
32. Complete Works of Shakespeare
33. Ulysses - James Joyce
34. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
35. Les Miserables - Victor Hugo
36. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
37. The Bible
38. The Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald
39. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
40. Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
41. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
42. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
43. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
45. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
46. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
47. The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
48. A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
49. The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
50. Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
51. Little Women - Louisa M. Alcott
52. Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
53. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
54. Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
55. Middlemarch - George Eliot
56. Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
57. Bleak House - Charles Dickens
58. The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
59. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
60. Emma - Jane Austen
61. Persuasion - Jane Austen
62. Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
63. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
64. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
65. A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
66. The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
67. Anne of Green Gables – L.M. Montgomery
68. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
69. Atonement - Ian McEwan
70. Dune - Frank Herbert
71. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
72. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
73. The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
74. A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
75. Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
76. The Secret History - Donna Tartt
77. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
78. Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
79. Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
80. Bridget Jones’ Diary - Helen Fielding
81. Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
82. Moby Dick - Herman Melville
83. Dracula - Bram Stoker
84. Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
85. The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
86. Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
87. Germinal - Emile Zola
88. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
89. Possession - A.S. Byatt
90. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
91. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
92. The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
93. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
94. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
95. The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
96. The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
97. The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
98. Watership Down – Richard Adams
99. A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
100. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas


hmm....i read more than i thought...but i also didnt read a lot of them...hurry and post so i can separate the nerds from the...uh...other nerds ;)

and since all my posts are italicized, you will never know which books i started and never finished...muahahahaha...

cg

masturbation

(goes to the tune of "peanut butter, we like peanut butter" or "alouette" - a children's song...go look it up if you dont know it, it's very catchy with my new lyrics ;)

masturbation
we like masturbation
masturbation
that's what we like best

do you like it in your cunt?
yes, we like it in our cunt
in your cunt
in our cunt
ah ah ah ah

masturbation
we like masturbation
masturbation
that's what we like best

do you like it all the time
yes we like it all the time
all the time
all the time
ah ah ah ah

masturbation
we like masturbation
masturbation
that's what we like best

cg

local readers

i've noticed that i am getting more and more readers from around my area...i even have a few from the city where i grew up...how strange...it wasnt a small town, but with about 200K people, it wasnt exactly a big city like where i live now...then i think...i wonder if i know that person...that would be really weird...so, readers from my hometown welcome!

i've been slowly catching up on some of your blogs...reading sex blogs is like like being in a mall...so many things to see/do...where to start?...then you get excited because this store has some awesome new clothes...or that store had your favorite something on sale...overstimulated, tired, exhausted...yup...another fingering sesh last night knocked me completely out...but i needed it...had bad headaches...feckin' migraines!...

so, here's a question to you all...pussy hair...yes?...no?...a sprinle?...a dollop?...what's your preference...(the reason i ask is that there is a little controversy surrounding the pubic fashion of actress sienna miller and, get this, THEY ARE GOING TO DIGITALLY SCULPT A HAIRY BUSY FOR HER because her landing strip doesnt convey the 60s, which is when her movie "hippie hippie shake" takes place...thoughts?

cg

memories

scott from mrs kelly's playhouse has a post up called "girl in the weeds"...go read it...it is sexual, poetic, and full of memories...great post, scott...

cg

dramalicious

work was...drama-ful...women are insane to work with at times...she said this, she did that...

argh...anyhow...saturday night i had a date...it was a semi-blind date...i say semi because we had already met through a few functions given by mutual friends...we only talked about football because he was a cowgirls fan and i wasnt, lol....

actually, the date went rather well...i have a hard time with eye contact when i first go out with a person...but because our first date was at the bowling alley, it wasnt really a problem...gotta love late night bowling...now, i am the queen of gutterballs, hands down...i once had 11 in a row...yup, that's right, baby...11 gutterballs in a row!....anyhow, i had 3 gutterballs in a row and then i got a spare and two strikes in a row (followed by two more gutterballs!)...after the second strike instead of high-fiving he planted one right on my lips...it was...awkward, lol...but he seemed relaxed so i just went with it...

later, when we were walking to our cars (we drove separately), he brought up the kiss and asked if it was wrong to do it at that time...he said i got a little distant after that and he didnt want to make me uncomfortable...i had no idea what to say, no witty come back....so he took the silence as an opportunity to go in for another one...it was...awkward again...i realized that i had a great time with him...but he reminded me so much of my cousin, who is like a brother, that i couldnt imagine doing anything else with him, much less kiss him...

so...i did what any other girl would do...i avoided his calls the next day lol...but, you would ignore those calls and txts when they were happening within 30 min intervals...i kid you not...

funny thing was, when i got home, i was so fucking horny i scoped the net for amateur porn and got myself off several times...last night i was fucking horny as hell again, so i shaved and played with myself...what am i going to do tonight after this post?...shave and then play with myself...

and it does taste rather good...;)

cg

a visitor

i know you are watching...why do you come here if it bothers you...are you looking to see if i will write about you?...i sent you an email....

cg

when ladies lunch

on the way back home from our trip, we stopped by to visit a friend of ours...she was excited to see us and we went out for a late lunch...her bf is leaving for an extended period of time and she wanted to do something for his birthday since he will celebrate it just before he leaves...

her idea?...to allow him to be the photographer in some risque pictures...isnt she the coolest girlfriend ever?...lol...we will help her with her hair and make-up and we even made some suggestions for what she could wear...she doesnt want any full on nude/overly explicit photos...she is shy and nervous about it...he has a harley and at least one of the photos will be her draped over it in some way...he is very excited about the idea...

she has mellowed out a lot and this is a big step for her...some people dont realize that you cannot force a person to do something they arent ready for...it has to come from them...because if you push too hard, chances are they will run away in the other direction, which has happened before with her (different guy, though)...

so!...with that i leave you, i have a gazillion things to finish...i have overextended myself on several things and i need to prioritize a little...but i will be back in a day or two to wrap up the weekend's events...

cg

update

thankies, thankies to all of you still reading this semi-deserted space...makes me so happy!...i will do my best to make the rounds to all of your blogs, but it may take a little time...

this weekend i have to finish some work-related/non-work-related things...i've also gotten pretty active in a couple of gaming forums so that has kept me away from here as well...EHB is still the same evil....a hag...a bitch...nice to know that there are some constants in life ;)

in other news, i took some time off and went away with the sole purpose of spending time with my sister and partying lol...and we did...road trips, bars...it is a wonderful thing to be a woman and be able to go out and get free drinks/food without trying...which we dont...we dont go out with the intention of luring men, it just happens...my sister is actually more direct than i am, i am more subtle...

we averaged about 8 bars a night...but...i got pretty sick the first night...and i didnt have that much to drink...we had one beer/shot per bar over the course of several hours....we attributed it to being tired and the drive, etc...

the hotel we stayed at was the same one i have stayed at before...the one with the elevator that i have written about before...the glass window that overlooks into the main part of the hotel...when we got into the elevator i grinned as i looked out the window, my sister closed her eyes and refused to look out the window, lol...she asked why i was grinning...hehehe...if she only knew...

at one bar this guy was watching me dance (my sister told me this) and licking his lips...she said it was kinda gross but didnt tell me because then i would have given him shit lol...these two guys wanted us to go from bar to bar with them, they would buy...but the bartender at this one bar was already buying us drinks so why would we leave??...a friend of mine said this wouldnt have happened had we been ugly...i think that is sad and i dont want to believe it...oh well...

at one bar i was hanging out with this totally HOT HOT HOT guy...then he ended up being called to the stage as a guest guitarist/singer...he was good...kept looking at me while he was up there...making me so totally wet and hot...oh how i wanted him...my type with the dark hair and dark eyes...smoldering eyes...when i came out of the bathroom he was there...he followed me after his set was over and was waiting for me...just said "hi, i have to go soon, didnt know if you would be around next weekend"....nope, i dont live here, dude!...*sighs*...."ah, okay, well then you should give me a call if you are in town again...maybe we could hang out or grab dinner or a beer"...yeah, his words say that...his eyes said "call me so i can hang out with my wang out".....we stood there for those long awkward seconds where you are waiting for the other person to see if you should go in for the kiss...right as he is leaning in...BAM!...here comes sis...cock-blocked by my own sister!....doh!...

i was a good girl everyone...i had to be the responsible big sister *sighs*...but i am leaving in a couple of weeks to visit another friend...the only thing i managed were some sexy phonecalls one night while my sister was visiting some friends of ours...

why is it when guys dance with you all they want is to basically stand there so they can feel you move and rub against their cock??...lol...or the ones who think...hmm...she looks drunk, let me go and grab her tits....yeah, no....especially if you are too trashed to even tell if i am female....it's like you are reaching out and saying "if i feel tits...score!"...

musician guy was playing one of the nights we were there and i saw him...we had a couple of drinks and dance a little, but, he had to go and i wasnt about to leave sis alone...it was her first time in that city and she was nervous-y...

do you know how many guys thought my sister and i were lesbians?...lol...we dance with each other but we arent all over each other...one guy said "so, are you two like luh-vers"....um, nope, but thanks for asking! lol...

but...on the morning after our first night there, my sister crawled into my bed and was talking to me...just talking about what we would do that day...i told her i had gotten sick the night before...then she felt my bare ass squealed as she jumped out of the bed..."are you naked?!?!"...of course not, i am wearing a tshirt...she freaked out...little ms i-flirt-with-all-the-guys-and-i-love-being-a-cock-tease..."you cant do that!...you should at least wear underwear, i wore shorts!"....hmm...why?...i dont wear underwear to bed ever...it's pointless...lol...she asked me the rest of our time there if i was wearing underwear or not...hahahaha....i always answered with a raised brow...

i have a date tonight, though...shocker, i know, i rarely deign to go out with anyone these days...he actually wanted to meet me while we were out of town, but...we were out of town lol...

that was a lot of typing...:)....later!

cg