TMI Tuesday #158 - Firsts!!!

First names and approximate age is fine too many of you aren't anonymous and too many of you wish to stay anonymous.

1. Who and when was your first crush?

my first crush was a boy in my kindergarten class named danny...*sighs*...he was sooo cute with his blue jean jacket...

2. Who and when was your first date?

my first date...lol...i was in the eighth grade...his name was robert...and it was a school dance...we met in the school cafeteria and he had a flower for me...but we didnt dance until the end because all the boys were on one side and all the girls were on the other...lol...it was funny tho...and at the end he walked me to my parents' car and gave me a kiss...it was sweet...

3. Who and when was your first kiss?

does the answer to #3 count??

4. Who and when was your first partner while "fooling around" in car?

his name was tim...we were both 18....and i didnt have a single clue he liked me until other people pointed it out...he was driving me home from the movies one night...and we spent some time in the parking lot...then there was "lovers' lane"...yes, where i come from there is an actual "lovers' lane"...it is a street that dead ends into a duck pond...oh, that brings back so many memories...

5. Who and when was your first partner while "fooling around" in a house?

hell, i dont think i can remember that one...must not have been a good experience! lol

6. Who and when was your first love?

ben...i still remember the last time i saw him...although, i dont know what kind of love it was, really...

Bonus: Who's blog did you first comment on?

it was a long time ago and i dont think they keep it up anymore...sharingdee...anyone remember that blog?...

happy tuesday!

cg

tease and denial

i read a recent post over at bdenied that invited me to take a closer look on my evolving view of all things sexual...he essentially explained the difference between tease and denial and flat out denial...

and he summed it up pretty well...

a part of me has always been intrigued by this sort of sexual play, even though i did not fully understand what i was doing or follow through most of the time...i just knew that some things just didnt work as far as turning me on...

example: soldier boy, while sweet and kind, would sometimes try "dirty talk" with me...but calling me a "slut" had me disinterested and bored...not angry or irritated...BORED...he would immediately gauge my disinterest..."i can tell you didnt like that"...

example: trying to get me to say/do things i do not want to do lowers my arousal to almost nothing...i know for some, that coercion factor can be a great sexual ploy...but for me it wasnt...i became that woman that just wants to hurry up and get it over with...it was unthrilling...and maybe that is why so many women do move to this place...because they are in sexual relationships that are not fulfilling all their needs...not just physical...maybe because they dont know what they need and only think that they do...

i had, however, been in a very brief relationship (which i have mentioned before) maybe two or three years ago (probably closer to three) when i was with a male nurse who really enjoyed a more forceful female...now here i got a serious thrill...he had obviously been experienced with a dominant woman...sometimes, i would tease him and not let him cum...i would tell him not to touch himself for long periods of time and he ENJOYED this...and so did i...i would just tell him "you cant touch yourself, because i'm not ready"....or..."you cant cum until i tell you to"...

had i always been this way?...i'll admit, in the past i had toyed with the tease and denial but i was not experienced enough and i think most men in general arent prepared to allow a woman with that kind of control sexually...

men want women to be free sexually, but they dont always realize that for some of us, to be free sexually, is to be allowed to take control...to dictate and to give their partner the gift of being able to let go...i do not like being controlled sexually...it does nothing for me...my thoughts drift to the non-sexual and i lose interest...fast...

what drives me in the tease/denial is that i enjoy pushing that other person to certain places they would not normally consider...i know how aroused they become and that makes me even more aroused myself...i want them to feel sexually stimulated to a breaking point where they cant think...where they are in it to see just how far they can go...

i know that i am setting the pace for their sexual energy to blossom...and i know that i can control how high and low the energy will hum...

for both of us...

cg

what turns you on?

as i lay here in bed nursing a wee hangover, i find myself flipping through movies (gotta love youtube)...and i landed on a clip from "braveheart" with mel gibson...and i think to myself, why does a scottish accent always make me grin from ear to ear?...

it isnt mel gibson that i'm hot after...he's alright...it's the accent of all those scotsman in the movie...

that led me to the question: what turns people on and why?...alright, so that's two questions..but you get the idea...

for me...

it's the way a man uses his hands...

his dark eyes...

his quiet voice...

the way a man uses his mind...

the way he lets me lead...

the way he lets me follow...

the way he never gives up on me...

the way he learns to let go of me...

the way he holds me when he knows i'm scared...

the way he pushes me when i cant push myself...

and all this without a single touch...

what turns you on...and why...

cg

EDIT: okay, so i just watched james mcavoy interviews...wowsa...his accent...but he has blue eyes...eh...maybe i'll make an exception...lol...

the origins of sexual curiosity

curiosity, is innate...children are born with a desire to question and learn about their environment..so when does this curiosity shift towards the sexual?...or is it always there, hidden in the unknown realm of our inner being?...

i remember my mother remarking on my own personal curiosities...just typical things, i suppose...but i have read of others whose own sexual interests began we before hormones and such began kicking in...although i had an early sexual experience that was not of my own choice, i often wonder if my curiosities are a result of that experience or if the curiosities would still be present irregardless?...

i remember, once, finding a book that my parents got as a "bonus" through purchasing these children's bible stories books or something...it was called "to have and to hold"...i remember my mother flipping through it and somehow it ended up in a box in the garage...

i picked that book up one day and was mesmerized by what i saw...there were a lot of words (that i did not bother to read) and some pictures (not real, just images) of men and women in various sexual activities...the book was supposed to support a healthy sexual relationship between married couples...

over the years, i would periodically run into that book and my father's Playboy mags and i was so enthralled by the images...they were utterly fascinating...and i was curious to know more about the people who shared their bodies with the world...

what about your origins of sexual curiosity?...

cg

TMI Tuesday #157

TMI Tuesday #157



1. Have you ever felt guilty or ashamed after a sexual experience?

yes...the first time i had sex...my religious upbringing...i felt like i was "sinning"...and the first time wasnt even that great...lol...

2. Did you ever own a fake ID?

oh, hell no...i used to think those were only in the movies...

3. How often do you tell white lies? Is it with or without thinking?

i am a woman...we tell white lies ALL THE TIME...and if you are a woman and you say you dont...you LIE!...honestly, though...we lie to ourselves most often...

4. On a scale of 1-10, how well do you receive constructive criticism?

i am more critical of myself than anyone else could be...but i will admit that i do get prickly at times when i dont want to hear it, realize that it is true, or if it comes from someone whose opinion really matters to me...

5. Have you ever shaved your pubic hair?

silly question..

Bonus: What percentage of women do you think are capable of handling being in a "friends with benefits" relationship? How about men?

that is a tough one...i think more women could do it if they really wanted to, but i do think it is easier for most men...percentages?...i hate numbers...let's say 30 percent of women and 68 percent of men...

cg

skim, 2%, or white russian?

seems that the topic for today in the blogosphere has been vanilla sex talk with both percy and miss i making references to it in their blogs...so it got me thinking...how vanilla can a person get...and i have come up with a handy-dandy reference chart for those times you are in bed with your SO (sexual other) and wondering..."what is vanilla sex??"

here we go!

Skim milk - this is the barest of the bare...we are talking no love words or sex talk, no foreplay, just push up the old lady's flannel nightgown, stroke a couple of times, cum once then roll over and snore...this is ALWAYS missionary position....there is NEVER oral sex or any kind of holding or kissing...porn is a four letter word here...masturbation what??...

2% milk - this is a for those totally Christian lovers that hold true to their church's teachings (do NOT send in hater-ade comments, we are all here to learn - even you Bible humpers, er, thumpers...this category is for those that do enjoy kissing and some amounts of holding...married women of thirty years will reach for their husband's schtick only if they have to...they may TRY an alternate sexual position...MAYBE doggie-style...there may be some soft words in the "afterglow", but nothing risque...porn is still a four-letter word but you KNOW he secretly checks out porn while at the office at work or when wifey isnt home or asleep in bed...and he jacks off when he can...she might, too, but not too often...oral sex happens once in a very blue moon...when the moon is as blue as his balls...

whole milk - here is where things will get a little more interesting...we are still very much in the realm of vanilla, but this couple will check out porn together...nothing too heavy and never anything kinky...just straight up couples fucking (although he will definitely check out tons of other kinky shit when she isnt around)...they are okay with masturbating in front of each other and they enjoy oral sex...they will opt for missionary, doggie, 69, cowgirl/reverse cowgirl...that is kinky for them...he is still the one in control for the most part...we begin to see a few sex toys in a special box...

baileys on the rocks - now we are skirting the edges of vanilla...this is where there are blurring of lines...this is where some edge play takes place...they experiment in some role play, maybe a role reversal where she is taking the lead...this couple has a modest assortment of sexual accessories...he may even be interested in some anal stimulation...there may be light bondage and some definite talks of more intense fetishes or fantasies...they may toy with the idea of a sexually open relationship, but chances are, this is just a part of the fantasy mode because they really arent up to this...this couple has definite streaks of exhibitionism...they are just one more splash of baileys away from having an open relationship...

bailey's and kahlua - they have taken things to a new level...they are open sexually to a point (this isnt about cuckolding...yet...that will be more kahlua and less bailey's lol...) and they both enjoy more serious edge play...they dont have a toy box...they have a fucking closet...they enjoy vanilla sex, but they need more edgy activities here and there to keep things interesting...they enjoy pushing that envelope...their sexuality is not just an extention of their relationship...it reflects who they are...they are getting into darker realms with candlewax on the nipples, spankings, fucking in public places, the idea of getting caught is a big arousal factor at times...

white russian - this is it...this couple pushes the limits knowing that one day they may push too far, but they cant stop because they are so turned on by it...there is a huge emotional factor here...because they push to the limit but there is a concern at times that they are going to go too far...they have extensive sex accessories...they have invested time and money into their sexual actitivities and they may enjoy sex in front of others, cuckolding, orgasm withholding, CBT, heavier bondage, more intense spankings, etc...there may also be interests in humiliation...they may have a more permanent relationship with D/s or something along those lines...this is a part of who they are...it isnt just something that they play around with...it is real and not for plain milk drinkers...

did i leave anything out?...this was just a quick overview...so, where do you fall in line...i would LOVE to hear everyone's thoughts on this one...lol...

cg

the return of EHB

just when i thought i was free from EHB a little bird flew into my life and said, "beware of the EHB!"...

so, evidently she has resorted to informing the entire family that we are not speaking to her because we are upset with her...

she said "cg and her sisters aren't talking to me, did you hear? *dramatic sigh from EHB* "they are mad at me, so since they wont speak to me and they left all their father's things at my house, everyone needs to come over and pick out what they want of [cg's dad]"...

the lying EHB!...and she has flown further off her rocker by alienating more of her siblings through her crazy antics...she evidently harassed one of my uncles at her sister's house...the other aunt (whose house they were all at) was told by her 20-something daughter of the harassment....when EHB was told she could not do that in her sister's house, EHB flared into hysterics and said that she wanted to know who was accusing her of such things...yeah, right, like the Nice Aunt is reallygoing to out her own daughter for EHB to tear into tiny bite-sized pieces!...

needless to say, EHB fled the house and it has been a source of tension since...

what goes around comes around, EHB...at least us girls had the courtesy and respect to simply let go and walk away...we never told anyone in the family except our mother...she assumes we told everyone else...that is GUILT eating you up...actually, i think she is terribly overextended over the last several years dealing with lots of family issues that she WILLINGLY took on...no one forced her to...she chose to make a martyr of herself...

anyhow, that was my little update!

cg