Saturday, November 1, 2008

celebration of self

the last few days have been busy ones, what with the halloween festivities and all...i have a few projects that i have been working on (not to mention the texas tech/texas game tonight!)....i had full intentions of posting something different today...but something happened last night that made me think about people...and blogging...and human sexuality...

my sister and i went out to our neighborhood bar last night...a great band was playing and so many people were in costume...i enjoyed looking at the different costumes and thinking about the people there...we like to make up stories about the people we see when we are out...our own little form of entertainment, i suppose...

i had encountered a young woman that was clearly past inebriation and teetering on the edge of passing out while mid-step...her eyes were barely opened as she stumbled to the bathroom...she left the door to the stall open while she struggled with her costume to relieve herself...i asked her if she was okay...she mumbled, eyes closed, and nearly fell...

she was alone as far as i could see and i mentioned it to my sister...we watched her come out of the bathroom to see if she was with someone...we've done this and told their party that the person was clearly unable to function in the bathroom...she fell against a table where three young men were sitting...my sister recognized them, one in particular had hit on her several times, each time forgetting he had done it previously..."he's a good guy", the waittress would tell us, but we never put much store into what people say...

within minutes, they were kissing, and though he was clearly drunk, one of his friends was not...they continued to ply the girl with more alcohol...this girl who could not keep her eyes open and could not stand on her own two feet...

at some point, she was seated on her barstool and she fell backward and landed on her head...she was immobile...my sister rushed to her side while the men stared and stepped back...they were probably in shock and disbelief...i called out to our bartender and she flew around the counter to the girl and my sister...with a small crowd gathering around the girl, i stayed with our purses and watched the people...

someone called to another bartender to call 911...the guy who had been kissing her had his hands in his face, his friend rubbing his back...i read his lips..."it's not your fault...it's not your fault" as he shook his head...

although the EMTs arrived in less than five minutes, it seemed forever...several of the women around her continued dancing while they watched my sister and another person try to squeeze the girl's hand and keep her conscious...my sister's hands were covered in blood...thick and dark red...

she went behind the bar counter where they poured 151 and Purell all over her hands...

i was utterly disgusted and disappointed...why the hell did these guys continue to buy drinks for this girl after watching her nearly fall while standing several times...

i thought about it a lot today...and those words "it's not your fault" kept running through my head...fault is never a simple place...it is an encompassing arena of choices made and choices not made...

we come to the blogworld to celebrate ourselves and those we interact with...we celebrate the things we love about ourselves...but the things we dont?...well, that is never our fault...someone or something else is always to blame...we freeze before the roadblocks to our own success and happiness because it isnt the right time or because we "cant"...

here, we open up and learn something about ourselves...and we want to share it with others...

but what if we dont like what we find...is it our fault?...if i am disappointed in my sexual development, is it someone else's fault?...or is that simply a simple route to victimization...

i watched those guys...stand back...look around for a way out...but they were by the exit and it was blocked by people...girls were standing around her "oh! i love this song!" and dancing around the body of this young woman...

what is there to cheer to when we celebrate ourselves?...were we heroic in the face of true danger?...were we vigilant in the assistance of another?...or did we simply do the right thing when the time came....

forgive me, i am rambling...my thoughts are unclear and my words are imprecise...

it's been a long month...fighting against words and accusations at work have made me think poorly of humanity in general...i guess i just want people to be nice because it's the right thing to do...

(okay, okay...you can be mean...IF it's warranted...lol)

cg

6 curious people say...:

Percy said...

very deep thoughts there.
those guys knew what they were doing buying a drunk girl more drinks... nobody expects 'bad' things to happen..
it is good you and your sister were there..
you can only do your best in any circumstance.

Sucre Bebe said...

They are in the mental space that whatever happens at a bar is fine. More drinks vomiting, inebriation, whatever.

Why would it be the fault of strangers, who do not care one whit about a strange girl that they do not know?

The story will be a sign of what a good time they had, when told the next day and the next.

You did the right thing. I am always the sober one, so I see similar things when I am out.

Of course, the party always goes on around the drunk girl.

Sad.

bdenied said...

alcohol is a dangerous substance....let us hope she survived

mnwhr said...

An all to frequent occurence, sadly enough. Some people are shit.

Merlin said...

Sometimes when more than one person is involved, it's easier for all of them to say "It's not my fault" and actually believe it.

NWO said...

It does make one think, but like you, I can't really come to any conclusions about this story. Except, as the others have said, it's way too frequent and it's just plain sad. Maybe in a small way, you changed the world for the better.