friday night lights (out)

i realized that i neglected to inform everyone of a mildly interesting event friday night...no, nothing remotely sexual...after dealing with the travails of womanly ails, my sister and i decided to have a little girls' night in...

we bought some wine and made a little picnic on her bed while we sat and watched terrible sci fi movies...do not EVER consume an entire bottle of wine in less than an hour...strange things happen....

we each had our own bottle of wine...but i was drinking a lovely red...in truth, i dont know what the fuck kind it was, i just liked the bottle...things got very funny and as i was shaking my head in laughter, my sister tipped my glass causing it to slosh around and spill onto my shirt...

or so we thought...

for some reason the ends of my ponytail were wet...and the back of my shirt had several wet spots...in my inebriation, i had splashed red wine all over her sheets and my shirt....with my hair...doh!...

she laughed and laughed so hard she fell off the bed with a THUMP!...i set my glass down on the chair next to her bed...."grab my hand! i'll save you!" i cry out as i extend my hand to the rolling girl on the floor...

"quick! take my hand! no! dont roll under the bed!"...suddenly i realize...i have to pee.."i'll be right back!"...off i race to the bathroom, not a moment to lose...hell, i had to pee AND i just spilled wine on my shirt...into the sink went the shirt where i let it soak over night ( yes, stains still there)...after taking care of business in the potty, i race back to my sister's bedroom...where she is STILL ON THE FLOOR...

yes, i saved her from the floor...and she was very grateful...until she saw the red spots on her pink sheets..."bitch! you spilled wine all over my bed!"..."wait! i have an idea!"...i stumble half blindly to the kitchen and found what i was looking for under the kitchen sink...without warning, i sprayed foaming carpet cleaner all over her bed...."what the hell are you doing?? that's carpet cleaner!!"...

oops...

for some reason i had the brilliant idea that a bottle of wine was sure to cure my sore throat...guess what...i woke up with my throat hurting worse than before...

moral of the story: a bottle of wine is no cure for a sore throat...

cg