sexual lubricant

"god made alcohol as a sexual lubricant" - from the film "just like heaven"

ah, yes, the infamous sexual lubricant otherwise known as alcohol...countless websites are devoted to young men and women drowning themselves in fermented drink only to disrobe in front of a camera and perform various forms of sexual activities with/to one another....

at first taste, the cold liquid slides down your throat then shimmies into your stomach, releasing a trail of warmth...for some, an instant urge to purge the bladder follows...once the flood gates are opened, the full force of the alcoholic monsoon ensues...small sips give way to long, thirst-quenching gulps...everything seems louder, funnier, and you yourself seem waaay more intelligent than the average bear...every song is either you FAVORITE song that you absolutely must sing along with or so awful you howl and moan throughout the shitful piece of music...

somewhere in between the fire curling in your esophagus and the instant rock star you have just become, it hits you...you are damn horny...

for some, any warm body will do...for guys, if it's got tits, it'll do...for gals, if it's got an endless stream of drinks with coherent conversation, it'll do...

for others, all your horniness sings in a beeline straight for one person in particular...you can actually feel your pheromones emanating from you and making circles around your fuck target...oh, you do what you can to get their attention, but, alas, it doesnt always work...ten drunk texts, four phone calls, and one email later you arent horny, you are pissed...

so what do you do?...pass out, vow NEVER to send another drunk text again....then do it all over again...

cg