the ponderance of men

men are endlessly fascinating to this common observer of the world...how they can seem so sure of themselves one minute and so unsure of themselves the next...how they can be so hard, rough, incapable of any kind of flexibility at all and yet, like the sea, they moving soft and low then hard and deep...they project such an outward appearance of no concern regarding the opinions or thoughts of others that it may be easy to underestimate the complexity that lies beneath...

i read a comment on court's blog recently by the fascinating keats...court questioned if men at times feel that little knot of worry that can niggle, wiggle into a woman's mind, heart, and soul when feeling a lover has mentally moved on...that lack of attention or concern we perceive when we havent heard from that special person can fester into irritation, anger, sadness, and even fear...

keats replied with:

Of course men think the same.

“Where is she?”
“How come she hasn’t emailed me yet today?”
“She’s not in chat. She wouldn’t be avoiding me, would she?”

Sound familiar? The difference is that men are often egotistical non-communicators, meaning when we aren’t confident about what we want to say or how it will be received, we simply don’t communicate. I know, it’s a stupid avoidance tactic that serves to keep our fragile egos intact, but the unintended benefit is that so much just magically gets cleared up prior to us reaching our breaking point.

“Hey, babe, so you were at your sister’s all day? Yeah, I emailed once but when you didn’t respond I just figured you were off doing something. I knew you’d email when you were free. No worries.”

We’re just really really good at not letting you women see us sweat.

i thought about this for a while...it lingered in my brain and sat comfortably in a tiny nook, settling...are we as women so concerned with ourselves that we forget the humanity that, even if only a little!, lies buried beneath this exterior that men portray to us?...we scheme on attention seeking behaviors (oh, how we praise ourselves for our subtlety that surely no one else can see!) in order to captivate, enchant, and beguile our men...it reminds us of our femininity and our power to capture the heart (if only for a brief moment!) of our prey (for make no mistake, gentlemen, you are the prey and we are the huntresses)...

when i told keats that i was inspired to create a post on his comment, he seemed somewhat amused that perhaps my post would be about something that had caused me to become distraught, upset...how very wrong you are, sir!...

i do not think my pendulum will swing so far to the extreme that i will overcompensate and flood my lovely interest(s) with undying attention (after all, who would want THAT 24/7) to make sure he knows i am thinking of him...however, i will endeavor to remember that men do enjoy those special notes, gestures, and tokens of attention as well...they may not show their appreciation in the same way as a woman would, but that increased ardor in the bedroom (or hallway, living room, bathroom, kitchen table) will their way of saying "hey, babe, thanks for that email today, that made my day!"

(ironically, i cannot STAND the word "babe"...not quite sure why...has always bothered me...but only when someone uses it with me, i could care less when other people use it with each other)

cg