i was reading a post by the lovely and talented "the beautiful kind" regarding first orgasms and after reading all those comments...whew!...seriously, go read all those hot HOT comments about first orgasmic experiences...
anyhow, i thought about my own early forays into the world of sexual stimulation...i must have been around 11 years old and i was utterly fascinated with my nether region...i didnt use my fingers to explore, i just humped an old pillow lol...
after several awkward attempts i finally figured out how to fold the pillow so that it formed a "firm" little mount for my pussy...i would move on that thing for the longest time...i never quite had an orgasm...i always had the feeling that i was searching for something but not sure what it was...
then, when i was in the sixth grade, it happened...i was going to town on that thing and i nearly came off the bed...what the hell was that??...did i hurt myself??...if i am quite truthful...all that moisture that i would notice before this was a bit disconcerting to me...now, the moisture that came after was even MORE of an issue lol...it freaked me out because i had no idea what it was...
thank you, judy blume for putting a name to what i was doing lol...if you have ever read any of her books geared toward an older child, you will know EXACTLY what i am talking about...i was utterly clueless about sex...i mean, i had seen things on television, but that stuff happened to other people..."grown up" people...
i will never forget the day that my mother walked in on me when i was 13...there i was..tshirt pulled up, me on my stomach, humping this pillow under the covers...she had been calling my name and i hadnt heard her...well, i was busy!...so opened the door and i FROZE...she asked perhaps the most ridiculous question "what are you DOING?"...i pretended like i had been asleep (yeah, i am thinking that she didnt buy it one bit!)...she quickly closed the door...and i kept right on lol...
the age of discovery...lol
cg
Monday, March 31, 2008
Sunday, March 30, 2008
numbers
i always have interesting conversations with people that prompt the little creature in my brain to start moving that wheel...this time it involved men...here was the question: is it possible to come up with some simple method for a single woman to gauge the "dateability" of a single man that calculates a range where all the men fall into?...i think we did...
here are the basics...there are four main categories...mind you, this is intended for a single woman who is looking for a single man...the categories include: attraction, personality, career/education (is he financially stable - can he take care of himself), and baggage factor.
you can rank from 0 - 10...0 being the least in the category and 10 being the absolute highest...then you subtract the baggage factor from the total and divide by three (the first three categories)...the baggage factor includes past relationships (psycho/drama with the exes), children (unfortunately, this can be baggage because a younger single woman is not normally prepared for this - but remember, you can rank that as high or low as you see fit...if you dont see a child or two as baggage because he gets along well with his ex and children, that affects your rating), emotional stability, career pitfalls, trouble with the law...you get the idea...
we used this formula for over 30 different men...and the results were remarkable...all the results fall into four categories:
* 0 - 3 "out of bounds"
* 4 - 6 "friend zone"
* 7 - 8 "first down"
* 9 - 10 "touchdown"
the interesting thing about this is that the guy who faired around a 5 in the attraction category, scored the highest at an 8.36...but he had no baggage....his personality and career were high scoring...the guys that scored in the first section (we had a few that were less than 1) were clearly unsuitable...they need to get their shit together big time....those in the second category were the guys who were good to hang out with but not there for the next level - if a few of them got on track, then they may elevate to the next level...
the third section is the ideal place...this is the guy who has a strong connection with you and is comfortable with who he is and is content with his place in life...he is clearly not in the friend zone and you are clearly interested...the extremely rare final section should be what the "first down" section should aspire to...this is the successful long-term relationship...you are both happy and compliment each other well...no major hurdles lie in wait...
this is purely for entertainment purposes, but it gave a quick snapshot of a friend's dating history...her experiences ranked so low (all but a tiny tiny few were in the lower two sections)...her stronger connections/relationships scored higher overall...
no one should be looking for that "touchdown"...it isnt too often that a return yields a TD...it is silly to pin your hopes on scoring that way...it's great, but you also need other components for success...
cg
here are the basics...there are four main categories...mind you, this is intended for a single woman who is looking for a single man...the categories include: attraction, personality, career/education (is he financially stable - can he take care of himself), and baggage factor.
you can rank from 0 - 10...0 being the least in the category and 10 being the absolute highest...then you subtract the baggage factor from the total and divide by three (the first three categories)...the baggage factor includes past relationships (psycho/drama with the exes), children (unfortunately, this can be baggage because a younger single woman is not normally prepared for this - but remember, you can rank that as high or low as you see fit...if you dont see a child or two as baggage because he gets along well with his ex and children, that affects your rating), emotional stability, career pitfalls, trouble with the law...you get the idea...
we used this formula for over 30 different men...and the results were remarkable...all the results fall into four categories:
* 0 - 3 "out of bounds"
* 4 - 6 "friend zone"
* 7 - 8 "first down"
* 9 - 10 "touchdown"
the interesting thing about this is that the guy who faired around a 5 in the attraction category, scored the highest at an 8.36...but he had no baggage....his personality and career were high scoring...the guys that scored in the first section (we had a few that were less than 1) were clearly unsuitable...they need to get their shit together big time....those in the second category were the guys who were good to hang out with but not there for the next level - if a few of them got on track, then they may elevate to the next level...
the third section is the ideal place...this is the guy who has a strong connection with you and is comfortable with who he is and is content with his place in life...he is clearly not in the friend zone and you are clearly interested...the extremely rare final section should be what the "first down" section should aspire to...this is the successful long-term relationship...you are both happy and compliment each other well...no major hurdles lie in wait...
this is purely for entertainment purposes, but it gave a quick snapshot of a friend's dating history...her experiences ranked so low (all but a tiny tiny few were in the lower two sections)...her stronger connections/relationships scored higher overall...
no one should be looking for that "touchdown"...it isnt too often that a return yields a TD...it is silly to pin your hopes on scoring that way...it's great, but you also need other components for success...
cg
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
(minor update)
btw - i did hear from g...and things are moving along...not as quickly as i had hoped...but schedules can be a bitch...oh, how he makes my head spin...bad thoughts go away...okay, nevermind...come back...
cg
cg
carrot sucking
remember that scene in "fast times at ridgemont high" where phoebe cates and jennifer jason leigh are in the cafeteria practicing blow jobs using carrots?...i was eating a carrot the other day and i thought...hmm..what makes fellatio so much fun?...
let's use the five senses to discover the answer behind this thought-provoking question, shall we?
sight - i enjoy looking at male genitalia in a variety of shapes, colors, sizes, and modifications...there is something utterly fascinating to me about the penis whether it is soft or hard...watching the progression from soft, vulnerable penis to hard, veiny cock never gets old...every penis looks very different as well...the obvious length/thickness differences, but even circumcised vs uncircumcised....the glans...that little ridge under the cock...the slit...so much to see...
smell - man smell can be a HUGE turn on for me...and i am not talking about stinky man-smell where an imminent shower is required...that heady scent of cock...i could close my eyes and have it right in front of me and i would know that smell....it is the scent that precludes the taste...like taking a long whiff of good brandy...
sound - i love to hear a man stroking himself...it makes me giggle...i LOVE that sound...the skin-on-skin contact...that soft sucking sound as his hand rubs his pre-cum up and around his cock...i especially like it when it is my hand that is making that sound on his cock...
touch - a soft penis is such a nice thing....i enjoy feeling that wrinkly mass in the palm of my hand...weighing it, feeling the skin...of course, it doesnt stay this way for long...the skin stretches...tightens...gets warmer....the veins become more pronounced....and every bit of this can be felt...that lovely bead of moisture the sits atop the cock begs to be touched...my grip always gets firm and excited...
taste - each and every penis tastes differently...some say you are what you eat...it's been my experience that what a person eats can make a difference, but this varies from person to person...the texture is amazing inside your mouth....it fills you up...pushes against your lips and tongue...the taste magnified by pre-cum...
for me, overall, the most satisfaction isnt just the enjoyment i receive, but the arousal i feel from the other person...but, i never did practice on carrots like they did in the movie...hmm...makes me curious about any especially bad or good experiences they have had with fellatio...anyone like to share?...
cg
let's use the five senses to discover the answer behind this thought-provoking question, shall we?
sight - i enjoy looking at male genitalia in a variety of shapes, colors, sizes, and modifications...there is something utterly fascinating to me about the penis whether it is soft or hard...watching the progression from soft, vulnerable penis to hard, veiny cock never gets old...every penis looks very different as well...the obvious length/thickness differences, but even circumcised vs uncircumcised....the glans...that little ridge under the cock...the slit...so much to see...
smell - man smell can be a HUGE turn on for me...and i am not talking about stinky man-smell where an imminent shower is required...that heady scent of cock...i could close my eyes and have it right in front of me and i would know that smell....it is the scent that precludes the taste...like taking a long whiff of good brandy...
sound - i love to hear a man stroking himself...it makes me giggle...i LOVE that sound...the skin-on-skin contact...that soft sucking sound as his hand rubs his pre-cum up and around his cock...i especially like it when it is my hand that is making that sound on his cock...
touch - a soft penis is such a nice thing....i enjoy feeling that wrinkly mass in the palm of my hand...weighing it, feeling the skin...of course, it doesnt stay this way for long...the skin stretches...tightens...gets warmer....the veins become more pronounced....and every bit of this can be felt...that lovely bead of moisture the sits atop the cock begs to be touched...my grip always gets firm and excited...
taste - each and every penis tastes differently...some say you are what you eat...it's been my experience that what a person eats can make a difference, but this varies from person to person...the texture is amazing inside your mouth....it fills you up...pushes against your lips and tongue...the taste magnified by pre-cum...
for me, overall, the most satisfaction isnt just the enjoyment i receive, but the arousal i feel from the other person...but, i never did practice on carrots like they did in the movie...hmm...makes me curious about any especially bad or good experiences they have had with fellatio...anyone like to share?...
cg
Monday, March 24, 2008
boobie monologues #2 - the nipple wars
there i was...enjoying the lovely lazy lick...mmm...i could myself harden and i rose up proudly...the wet warmth bathing me...these are my favorite moments...i was just getting into it when it suddenly stopped..."oh yes!" i heard that grating voice...damn her...damn her to hell!
lately all he wants is her...i used to be the favored nipple...but no longer it seems...i have been replaced...now all i get is a few brief moments of licking...but no more sucking...he saves the sucking for HER....i know we are supposed to think of ourselves as sisters, but she gets all the attention now...it's just not fair!...
by the time he finishes with her she is so damn rosy and wet...i hate her!..*sobs uncontrollably*
(several days later)
oh great...i am so emotionally caught up in his rejection of me that i cant even enjoy his lovely ministrations...now i cant get hard...instead i remain soft beneath the warm wetness of his tongue...and it's all her fault!...this means wars...
(next day)
i began with subtle hints...planting ideas and thoughts...she thinks that he gives her so much attention because there is something wrong with her...hehehehe...i told her he ignores me because i am perfect as i am and i need no help...she, on the other hand, requires a lot of help to get her to look just right...oh and my plan is working well!...she is in such a state of despair that he...what?!?!...oh, so now she gets a little finger action AND mouth action??...wtf??
fuck her!....fuck that fucking nipple!....i hope you shrivel up and fall off!...do you hear me??...this isnt over...not by a long shot....and for all of you ABA members out there - fuck you, too!
hell hath no fury like a nipple scorned...
(cg)
lately all he wants is her...i used to be the favored nipple...but no longer it seems...i have been replaced...now all i get is a few brief moments of licking...but no more sucking...he saves the sucking for HER....i know we are supposed to think of ourselves as sisters, but she gets all the attention now...it's just not fair!...
by the time he finishes with her she is so damn rosy and wet...i hate her!..*sobs uncontrollably*
(several days later)
oh great...i am so emotionally caught up in his rejection of me that i cant even enjoy his lovely ministrations...now i cant get hard...instead i remain soft beneath the warm wetness of his tongue...and it's all her fault!...this means wars...
(next day)
i began with subtle hints...planting ideas and thoughts...she thinks that he gives her so much attention because there is something wrong with her...hehehehe...i told her he ignores me because i am perfect as i am and i need no help...she, on the other hand, requires a lot of help to get her to look just right...oh and my plan is working well!...she is in such a state of despair that he...what?!?!...oh, so now she gets a little finger action AND mouth action??...wtf??
fuck her!....fuck that fucking nipple!....i hope you shrivel up and fall off!...do you hear me??...this isnt over...not by a long shot....and for all of you ABA members out there - fuck you, too!
hell hath no fury like a nipple scorned...
(cg)
Sunday, March 23, 2008
messy messy
had an interesting time the other night...during an "intimate conversation" i found myself enraptured in the moment (not sure if it was the person or just the moment)...had a most explosive eruption...so explosive i made a big mess...and i didnt even realize it...the sheets were as wet as my thighs...had to change the sheets...the curiosities of the human anatomy are endlessly enjoyable...
cg
cg
Friday, March 21, 2008
boobie monologues
it isnt easy being some woman's breast...people just look at us and think "yeah, those are just some woman's titties"...but do you know how degrading it is for us to be called that?...we are a very important and recognizable physical aspect of the female anatomy...
we come in many shapes, sizes, and colors...we prefer the term "breasts"...we are a unique lot that have many varying interests...some of us enjoy light caresses....others of us enjoy teasing bites or squeezes...a growing number of us are coming out of the closet as fetish freaks...although it is a surprise for those on the conservative front...they are all breasts and whether they enjoy candlewas, nipple clamps, bondage....they are every bit as important as any other breast...
size is actually not important to us because we do not judge one another by size...for each and every breast is a proud and beautiful breast...the small ones that are lively and happy...the full ones that are shy at times and bold at other times...the large ones that proudly stand out and beg others to take notice...together we stand high and tall or low and heavy...
there is never discrimination about color....we are pale like porcelain with faintly hued nipples...we can be flushed with color...or like creamy butterscotch...melting in your mouth...or like dark chocolate....
we are all members of the American Breast Association...at the ABA we strive to educate others on the importance of breasts everywhere...we recently inducted our first non-natural members to our organization...because all breasts...natural and non-natural are breasts...
so, please, talk to your local representative about how you can help bring about more awareness of the female breast...admire them, for they live to be admired...
admire a breast today....you can make a difference!
cg
we come in many shapes, sizes, and colors...we prefer the term "breasts"...we are a unique lot that have many varying interests...some of us enjoy light caresses....others of us enjoy teasing bites or squeezes...a growing number of us are coming out of the closet as fetish freaks...although it is a surprise for those on the conservative front...they are all breasts and whether they enjoy candlewas, nipple clamps, bondage....they are every bit as important as any other breast...
size is actually not important to us because we do not judge one another by size...for each and every breast is a proud and beautiful breast...the small ones that are lively and happy...the full ones that are shy at times and bold at other times...the large ones that proudly stand out and beg others to take notice...together we stand high and tall or low and heavy...
there is never discrimination about color....we are pale like porcelain with faintly hued nipples...we can be flushed with color...or like creamy butterscotch...melting in your mouth...or like dark chocolate....
we are all members of the American Breast Association...at the ABA we strive to educate others on the importance of breasts everywhere...we recently inducted our first non-natural members to our organization...because all breasts...natural and non-natural are breasts...
so, please, talk to your local representative about how you can help bring about more awareness of the female breast...admire them, for they live to be admired...
admire a breast today....you can make a difference!
cg
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
sexual supreme
so, it's a friday night...feeling like a little something to order in...what you really want is sex at the door saying "hi, i'm ____, your sexual stud for the evening"...i mean, it isnt like you can call up a local delivery service and say..."yeah, i'd like a sexual supreme, no onions...and can it be here in like 20 minutes?"...
how would you like your sexual supreme?...curious minds want to know...
cg
how would you like your sexual supreme?...curious minds want to know...
cg
ride
shifting gears....sliding that stick into position...feeling the engine hum...no hurry...just easy sunday driving...salty skin beneath my hands...fingertips caressing my breasts...a low growl from my throat...i rise and fall at my own pace...i am the driver...you are my ride...cum ride with me...
cg
cg
Monday, March 17, 2008
hormones
okay, so this is a "whiner baby" post, forgive me...i dont know if this is at all related to my monthly hormonal parade (floats for hungry, horny, teary, cranky, giggly, pissy...in no particular order)....
i havent heard from G in a while...makes me rather unhappy and shifting between insecure to flat out pissy...to tell the truth, my interest is beginning to wane...if it isnt there in front of me i tend to become easily distracted with the next set of rainbows...
yes...i am very attracted....on so many levels....yes...there is GOOD chemistry...but...there's always a but(t)...we go from regular (not necessarily constant) communication to nada...then it picks up outta nowhere...then...pfft!...nada...i dont want to be demanding, but dammit...i am high maintenance...i need space, yes....but a little attention does a girl some good...
today's whiner baby parade has been brought to you by curiousgirl hormones...
i promise to be in a better mood tomorrow...dammit....
cg
i havent heard from G in a while...makes me rather unhappy and shifting between insecure to flat out pissy...to tell the truth, my interest is beginning to wane...if it isnt there in front of me i tend to become easily distracted with the next set of rainbows...
yes...i am very attracted....on so many levels....yes...there is GOOD chemistry...but...there's always a but(t)...we go from regular (not necessarily constant) communication to nada...then it picks up outta nowhere...then...pfft!...nada...i dont want to be demanding, but dammit...i am high maintenance...i need space, yes....but a little attention does a girl some good...
today's whiner baby parade has been brought to you by curiousgirl hormones...
i promise to be in a better mood tomorrow...dammit....
cg
a brief first
i've been reading some blogs by marcello , mrs kelley , and 24/7 , and they started me thinking about a similar experience that i had a few years ago...(btw, their blogs entail varying forms of bdsm)...
it had been a while since my last relationship and i met this guy, M, through a friend...very intelligent and in the medical field, i never in a million years would have guessed this guy to be into the whole D/s thing...i am very outspoken, when i choose to be, and i have a tendency for being slightly abrasive with my humor and expectations...that first night we met he shared a previous long-term relationship with me...he was the sub and he very much enjoyed it...after a lengthy description of some of the things they would do together (during which i will have to admit i was more than mildly aroused and curious) he asked if i had ever considered taking part in something like that...
i laughed and shook my head...but...i was very curious...curious enough to be rather bold...i leaned across the table and told him to pay the bill and to meet me out by the car...he had 3 minutes or i would leave without him (we arrived in separate vehicles)...
he came flying out of the restaurant, his face flushed and his eyes bright...he opened his mouth to say something to which i gave my sternest "teacher" look...he could not speak unless i gave him leave to...
we went to his place, i drove his car...i made him crawl inside his house and show me where he kept his "toys"...i was thrilled with the results...i am naturally very "dominant" in many ways...my brief experience with relationships usually had me as the "dominant" one and the guy tagging along somewhere behind...on more than one occasion i recall fighting back the urge to take things to a different level....but i didnt know how or why or anything else....
from that day forward, he referred to me as Mistress...he NEVER was allowed to use my given name under ANY circumstances...honestly, i was making it up as i went along...it didnt occur to me to look anything up...he completely followed my lead and never once offered any information, nor did i request anything from him...
if i felt he enjoyed something a little too much or had done something to provoke a certain action, i did something totally different or that i knew for a fact he did not like...i told him that he was not in control...if he thought sulking was a way to make me feel sorry for him, it did not work...and he would suffer the consequences....
i remember once, i was brushing my hair (i have a wooden boar bristle brush) and he asked if he could brush my hair...i made him kneel down and paddled him...this was not unusual...the fact that i turned the brush around mid-whack so that the bristles landed against his balls was....he howled but did not even try to move...his instant erection told me that he enjoyed it...
the odd thing about this relationship was that we didnt really have that much in common...it was very brief...only a few months...he ended up moving for his job and we parted amicably...it's been several years and i dont normally talk about it with any of the men i have talked to since that time, largely because i dont know what they would think and also because it isnt their concern...
i dont regret the experiences we shared...if i had to do it all over again i would change a thing...i learned a lot about myself and relationships during that time...he had complete trust in me...the idea of a "safeword" never entered our minds...could i have done it long-term?...i dont know...probably not...do i miss it sometimes?...yes...i feel as if i didnt finish learning whatever it is i was supposed to learn...to be honest, i had forgotten about it until reading some related blogs recently...i am amazed at the dedication, time, and commitment that couples like richard/amy and emma/scott have...
oh, the things that make me curious!
cg
it had been a while since my last relationship and i met this guy, M, through a friend...very intelligent and in the medical field, i never in a million years would have guessed this guy to be into the whole D/s thing...i am very outspoken, when i choose to be, and i have a tendency for being slightly abrasive with my humor and expectations...that first night we met he shared a previous long-term relationship with me...he was the sub and he very much enjoyed it...after a lengthy description of some of the things they would do together (during which i will have to admit i was more than mildly aroused and curious) he asked if i had ever considered taking part in something like that...
i laughed and shook my head...but...i was very curious...curious enough to be rather bold...i leaned across the table and told him to pay the bill and to meet me out by the car...he had 3 minutes or i would leave without him (we arrived in separate vehicles)...
he came flying out of the restaurant, his face flushed and his eyes bright...he opened his mouth to say something to which i gave my sternest "teacher" look...he could not speak unless i gave him leave to...
we went to his place, i drove his car...i made him crawl inside his house and show me where he kept his "toys"...i was thrilled with the results...i am naturally very "dominant" in many ways...my brief experience with relationships usually had me as the "dominant" one and the guy tagging along somewhere behind...on more than one occasion i recall fighting back the urge to take things to a different level....but i didnt know how or why or anything else....
from that day forward, he referred to me as Mistress...he NEVER was allowed to use my given name under ANY circumstances...honestly, i was making it up as i went along...it didnt occur to me to look anything up...he completely followed my lead and never once offered any information, nor did i request anything from him...
if i felt he enjoyed something a little too much or had done something to provoke a certain action, i did something totally different or that i knew for a fact he did not like...i told him that he was not in control...if he thought sulking was a way to make me feel sorry for him, it did not work...and he would suffer the consequences....
i remember once, i was brushing my hair (i have a wooden boar bristle brush) and he asked if he could brush my hair...i made him kneel down and paddled him...this was not unusual...the fact that i turned the brush around mid-whack so that the bristles landed against his balls was....he howled but did not even try to move...his instant erection told me that he enjoyed it...
the odd thing about this relationship was that we didnt really have that much in common...it was very brief...only a few months...he ended up moving for his job and we parted amicably...it's been several years and i dont normally talk about it with any of the men i have talked to since that time, largely because i dont know what they would think and also because it isnt their concern...
i dont regret the experiences we shared...if i had to do it all over again i would change a thing...i learned a lot about myself and relationships during that time...he had complete trust in me...the idea of a "safeword" never entered our minds...could i have done it long-term?...i dont know...probably not...do i miss it sometimes?...yes...i feel as if i didnt finish learning whatever it is i was supposed to learn...to be honest, i had forgotten about it until reading some related blogs recently...i am amazed at the dedication, time, and commitment that couples like richard/amy and emma/scott have...
oh, the things that make me curious!
cg
more BOOBIES!!
okay, so check out comfydildo's cool response to yesterday's post...it is definitely an "eye-opener"!!!
cg
cg
Sunday, March 16, 2008
boobies
i remember about a year or two ago, a local radio station presented the notion that men dont giggle...unless their ears pick up one single word...."BOOBIES"...
was it true? i wondered...hmmm...so off i went in search of a way to find out how men respond to this childish word to describe the human female mammaries...oh, was this fun!...
i began with a few male friends...i asked them "is it true that a man will giggle when he hears the word..."BOOBIES"?...instantly, grins lit up their faces as they man-giggled briefly..."she said "BOOBIES" one them laughed...so i asked them, why do men smile and giggle when they hear that word?...
simply put, men will instantly envision a pair of lovely ripe breasts which, in turn, brings an involuntary smile to their faces...of course, it makes it even more pleasureable when a woman says those words...interestingly, other words dont have quite the same effect...
so i went off to do more investigating...(ladies, this is the funniest pick-up line EVER!!)...at a local alcoholic consumption establishment, i found myself and a friend in the company of two young gentlemen...without hesitation, i asked them..."is it true that men giggle when they hear the word "BOOBIES"?...they looked at each and it is as if that one word is full of magic...instant grinning and giggling..."um, did you just say what i think you said?"...i looked him dead in the eye, a little grin on my face..."BOOBIES"...oh was this ever fun!!...
i gathered all my results and tabulated them...men, irregardless of age or ethnicity, seemed to find it rather amusing to hear this particular word...it was an excellent conversation starter and the men seemed to enjoy a woman saying this word...
have any of you ever experienced this?...a friend of mine, now married, will whisper it into her husband's ear whenever he is getting cranky...he knows she is trying to soothe him...he just smiles and kisses her...
cg
was it true? i wondered...hmmm...so off i went in search of a way to find out how men respond to this childish word to describe the human female mammaries...oh, was this fun!...
i began with a few male friends...i asked them "is it true that a man will giggle when he hears the word..."BOOBIES"?...instantly, grins lit up their faces as they man-giggled briefly..."she said "BOOBIES" one them laughed...so i asked them, why do men smile and giggle when they hear that word?...
simply put, men will instantly envision a pair of lovely ripe breasts which, in turn, brings an involuntary smile to their faces...of course, it makes it even more pleasureable when a woman says those words...interestingly, other words dont have quite the same effect...
so i went off to do more investigating...(ladies, this is the funniest pick-up line EVER!!)...at a local alcoholic consumption establishment, i found myself and a friend in the company of two young gentlemen...without hesitation, i asked them..."is it true that men giggle when they hear the word "BOOBIES"?...they looked at each and it is as if that one word is full of magic...instant grinning and giggling..."um, did you just say what i think you said?"...i looked him dead in the eye, a little grin on my face..."BOOBIES"...oh was this ever fun!!...
i gathered all my results and tabulated them...men, irregardless of age or ethnicity, seemed to find it rather amusing to hear this particular word...it was an excellent conversation starter and the men seemed to enjoy a woman saying this word...
have any of you ever experienced this?...a friend of mine, now married, will whisper it into her husband's ear whenever he is getting cranky...he knows she is trying to soothe him...he just smiles and kisses her...
cg
the highwayman
"the highwayman" by alfred noyes is one of my all-time favorite poems...i remember having to read it aloud when i was in middle school for an english assignment...it wasnt a poem in our book, just one i had always enjoyed...being a procrastinator, i had not bothered to actually read it out loud... i had the poem memorized and didnt think it would be all that difficult...
boy, was i wrong...
the most driving part of the poem is in the repetition..."the highwayman came riding - riding - riding up to the old inn door"...as i was saying the words aloud i began to feel rather warm...i could hear my voice grow louder with intensity...several of the boys shifted in their seats, their eyes glued to me...it didnt help that words like "breast" "cock" "butt" were in the poem...
at one point, there is mention of Bess, the landlord's daughter...her finger is on the trigger...i never realized just how sexual anything can become...i was young and didnt fully realize just how aroused i had become...the teacher seemed slightly uncomfortable and thanked me for my "very passionate rendition"...the kids kinda giggled, but we moved on...
for the rest of that day i kept hearing my voice...the cadence and syncopation in my ears...the ebb and flow of the reading...i was thoroughly tied into the piece...and still am to this day...
loreena mckennitt put the poem to music several years ago...those words for some reason still have the power to arouse something within me that began all those years ago in a seventh grade classroom...
cg
boy, was i wrong...
the most driving part of the poem is in the repetition..."the highwayman came riding - riding - riding up to the old inn door"...as i was saying the words aloud i began to feel rather warm...i could hear my voice grow louder with intensity...several of the boys shifted in their seats, their eyes glued to me...it didnt help that words like "breast" "cock" "butt" were in the poem...
at one point, there is mention of Bess, the landlord's daughter...her finger is on the trigger...i never realized just how sexual anything can become...i was young and didnt fully realize just how aroused i had become...the teacher seemed slightly uncomfortable and thanked me for my "very passionate rendition"...the kids kinda giggled, but we moved on...
for the rest of that day i kept hearing my voice...the cadence and syncopation in my ears...the ebb and flow of the reading...i was thoroughly tied into the piece...and still am to this day...
loreena mckennitt put the poem to music several years ago...those words for some reason still have the power to arouse something within me that began all those years ago in a seventh grade classroom...
cg
Friday, March 14, 2008
contact
a few weeks ago i made mention of a friend of mine, S...he is leaving soon and called me twice...i hesitate to answer because i honestly do not know how to respond...he finally left a message that indicated his distinct irritation with being the instigator of our conversations...
the problem with coming out and telling a person how you feel about them is that the words do not go away...he is hurt and angered by my reaction to his honesty...he has only been friendly and never prone to outbursts...he is having them now...
i do not appreciate drunken phone calls in the middle of the night for the purpose of arguing or pressuring me for intimate conversation when you are obviously angry and bitter...but he is hurting...i have made it clear that i do not return his affections, but the damage is done...
i dont quite know what he expected when he told me how he felt...perhaps that i would welcome him with open arms...i question now whether or not i sent messages or signals that indicated i was receptive to a more emotionally intimate relationship...is this my doing, however unintentional?...honestly, i do not think so...i think his indicative of many men that i have encountered that have a need to be nurtured...but i am not his mother nor do i want to take care of anyone else right now...
harsh as that may sound, it is the reality of the situation and of my life at the moment...
he needs someone who is sweet and will put him in the center of her world...and i am not that person...
i wish i could come up with some sort of lie to tell him that would encourage him to move on yet would not be hurtful...unfortunately, i was never good at that...
cg
the problem with coming out and telling a person how you feel about them is that the words do not go away...he is hurt and angered by my reaction to his honesty...he has only been friendly and never prone to outbursts...he is having them now...
i do not appreciate drunken phone calls in the middle of the night for the purpose of arguing or pressuring me for intimate conversation when you are obviously angry and bitter...but he is hurting...i have made it clear that i do not return his affections, but the damage is done...
i dont quite know what he expected when he told me how he felt...perhaps that i would welcome him with open arms...i question now whether or not i sent messages or signals that indicated i was receptive to a more emotionally intimate relationship...is this my doing, however unintentional?...honestly, i do not think so...i think his indicative of many men that i have encountered that have a need to be nurtured...but i am not his mother nor do i want to take care of anyone else right now...
harsh as that may sound, it is the reality of the situation and of my life at the moment...
he needs someone who is sweet and will put him in the center of her world...and i am not that person...
i wish i could come up with some sort of lie to tell him that would encourage him to move on yet would not be hurtful...unfortunately, i was never good at that...
cg
one
one -
kiss and then i shall leave,
for you, my darling, have my heart
a single kiss, two mouths meet
lips that stretch and strain to touch
one -
touch and then i shall leave,
for you, my darling, i long to hold
a single embrace, my arms ache
hands that stroke and touch
one -
sigh and then i shall leave,
for you, my darling, i long to hear
a whisper, a moan, a breathy shudder
ears that long to hear your voice
one -
night and then i shall leave,
for you, my darling, i long to see
in my arms, bodies entwined, love's delight
pleasure i long to give
one -
lifetime and then i shall leave,
for you, my darling, have my heart
at first sight, at first touch,
i was yours and you became mine
cg
kiss and then i shall leave,
for you, my darling, have my heart
a single kiss, two mouths meet
lips that stretch and strain to touch
one -
touch and then i shall leave,
for you, my darling, i long to hold
a single embrace, my arms ache
hands that stroke and touch
one -
sigh and then i shall leave,
for you, my darling, i long to hear
a whisper, a moan, a breathy shudder
ears that long to hear your voice
one -
night and then i shall leave,
for you, my darling, i long to see
in my arms, bodies entwined, love's delight
pleasure i long to give
one -
lifetime and then i shall leave,
for you, my darling, have my heart
at first sight, at first touch,
i was yours and you became mine
cg
Thursday, March 13, 2008
playground love
will you come play with me?...in my delightful garden of lush hills and valleys...the warm sun upon our skin...our joyful laughter as we embrace the beauty that is our bodies...together...
touch me...stroke me...see the smile upon my face as your hands and mouth bring me to this aroused state...this state of yearning...let me taste your tongue on my lips...feel the gentle pressure of your teeth bearing down on the tender flesh of my lips...my fingers eagerly caress your face, chest...my arms wrap around your neck, pulling you closer...i want you...
your knee shifts between my legs...you let me rub my pussy against your leg and i feel you smile against my mouth..."do you want me?" i whisper..."yes, i want you now"...i feel the head of your cock rubbing against my pussy juices, tickling me...teasing me...
you pull your mouth away from mine and slide your head down to my breasts...your tongue traces a circle around my nipple...i pull your head onto my breast....towards that aching, firm nipple...you suck on it, hard...you know how much i like it...first one then the other...until they are both so tender and so red from sucking that you grin that ridiculous grin of yours...
finally i feel that delicious thick cock stretching me...i rise up to meet every thrust...this isnt tender and sweet...this is fast...hard...full of passion and intensity..."dont stop" i whimper..."god, you feel so good...my dick is so hard"...the sound of our bodies fucking fills my ears..the soft sucking sounds i adore...
i feel the spurt of you as you cum inside...my pussy clenching around your cock...my nails against your ass as i squeeze it...my tongue flicking across your neck and ears...mmmm...together in my playground, love...
cg
touch me...stroke me...see the smile upon my face as your hands and mouth bring me to this aroused state...this state of yearning...let me taste your tongue on my lips...feel the gentle pressure of your teeth bearing down on the tender flesh of my lips...my fingers eagerly caress your face, chest...my arms wrap around your neck, pulling you closer...i want you...
your knee shifts between my legs...you let me rub my pussy against your leg and i feel you smile against my mouth..."do you want me?" i whisper..."yes, i want you now"...i feel the head of your cock rubbing against my pussy juices, tickling me...teasing me...
you pull your mouth away from mine and slide your head down to my breasts...your tongue traces a circle around my nipple...i pull your head onto my breast....towards that aching, firm nipple...you suck on it, hard...you know how much i like it...first one then the other...until they are both so tender and so red from sucking that you grin that ridiculous grin of yours...
finally i feel that delicious thick cock stretching me...i rise up to meet every thrust...this isnt tender and sweet...this is fast...hard...full of passion and intensity..."dont stop" i whimper..."god, you feel so good...my dick is so hard"...the sound of our bodies fucking fills my ears..the soft sucking sounds i adore...
i feel the spurt of you as you cum inside...my pussy clenching around your cock...my nails against your ass as i squeeze it...my tongue flicking across your neck and ears...mmmm...together in my playground, love...
cg
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
another first
since i recently expounded on my first sexual intercourse experience, i thought it might be fun to re-visit my first oral experience (receiving)...i remember that as much as my boyfriend and i at the time had discussed it, i was very nervous about the whole thing...what if i laughed?...what if i didnt like it?...what if he didnt like it?...when two virgins get together for sexual experimentation the results can be very interesting...
i remember i thoroughly enjoyed wrapping my lips around his cock...i have always enjoyed the stimulation of others...it arouses me to no end...he was soft and sweet and sensitive...but then one day he told me to lay back because he said he really wanted to go down on me...hmm...okay i thought...immediately i started laughing from nervousness and anticipation...we kissed for a while at first...long, wet kisses...i do so love kissing even today...pushed my shirt up and tongued my nipples through my bra, nipping them with his teeth...the sensation of the fabric and his teeth on my nipples was incredible...so intense...i could feel the wetness building between my pussy lips...
he lowered his head and slipped my panties down a bit...at the time i was much younger and i trimmed but was not shaved...my hair has always been very soft and he loved it...he said it wasnt rough like his...i remember him just smelling me...his breath rippling across my pussy lips...the desire to feel his mouth on me was driving me insane...yet i was still so hesitant...the tip of his tongue traced the line between the lips and i giggled...it tickled yet felt really good...i couldnt help but shift my body closer to his mouth..."you taste incredible" he moaned...his tongue felt warm and wet and soft as it traveled from the bottom to the top...his tongue slipped further inside this time...
i nearly came off the bed when his tongue grazed my clit...his fingers were cool as he spread my lips slightly and again i could feel him smelling me...it was awkward for me yet so arousing..."god, you are so wet" he whispered...his tongue delved deeper and i could hear the wetness and his licking...my hands were in his hair wanting to just slam his head down...
he was smooth or experienced...but it was so sweet and tender with no expectations...he explored me with his tongue, my senses reeling...my clit became engorged and he marveled at its transformation..."everything is just so wet and slippery...your clit is huge"...his words continued to fan the flame of my arousal..."can i put my finger inside?"...i laughed....it sounded so funny to me, but it was a very innocent time...i told him "okay" and felt his finger slide up and down the wetness and slip in a bit...the sensation was very nice...i asked him to slide it in more...slowly he eased it in a little more...not really doing anything other than feeling his way around...he took his finger out and licked it...it was very hot to see that...
for the next several minutes he tried out various ways to lick, suck, tongue, and stroke my pussy...some i enjoyed others were just a bit awkward...he flicked his tongue repeatedly over my clit and i came in a wave...he loved the extra wetness that came with it...he licked and licked until i said it was too much...then he moved up to face me and kissed me...i could taste myself on his lips...on his tongue...it was very heady...
it wasnt my best oral experience, but it was one of the sweetest...together we learned what felt good and the timing of it all...sexual innocence...
cg
i remember i thoroughly enjoyed wrapping my lips around his cock...i have always enjoyed the stimulation of others...it arouses me to no end...he was soft and sweet and sensitive...but then one day he told me to lay back because he said he really wanted to go down on me...hmm...okay i thought...immediately i started laughing from nervousness and anticipation...we kissed for a while at first...long, wet kisses...i do so love kissing even today...pushed my shirt up and tongued my nipples through my bra, nipping them with his teeth...the sensation of the fabric and his teeth on my nipples was incredible...so intense...i could feel the wetness building between my pussy lips...
he lowered his head and slipped my panties down a bit...at the time i was much younger and i trimmed but was not shaved...my hair has always been very soft and he loved it...he said it wasnt rough like his...i remember him just smelling me...his breath rippling across my pussy lips...the desire to feel his mouth on me was driving me insane...yet i was still so hesitant...the tip of his tongue traced the line between the lips and i giggled...it tickled yet felt really good...i couldnt help but shift my body closer to his mouth..."you taste incredible" he moaned...his tongue felt warm and wet and soft as it traveled from the bottom to the top...his tongue slipped further inside this time...
i nearly came off the bed when his tongue grazed my clit...his fingers were cool as he spread my lips slightly and again i could feel him smelling me...it was awkward for me yet so arousing..."god, you are so wet" he whispered...his tongue delved deeper and i could hear the wetness and his licking...my hands were in his hair wanting to just slam his head down...
he was smooth or experienced...but it was so sweet and tender with no expectations...he explored me with his tongue, my senses reeling...my clit became engorged and he marveled at its transformation..."everything is just so wet and slippery...your clit is huge"...his words continued to fan the flame of my arousal..."can i put my finger inside?"...i laughed....it sounded so funny to me, but it was a very innocent time...i told him "okay" and felt his finger slide up and down the wetness and slip in a bit...the sensation was very nice...i asked him to slide it in more...slowly he eased it in a little more...not really doing anything other than feeling his way around...he took his finger out and licked it...it was very hot to see that...
for the next several minutes he tried out various ways to lick, suck, tongue, and stroke my pussy...some i enjoyed others were just a bit awkward...he flicked his tongue repeatedly over my clit and i came in a wave...he loved the extra wetness that came with it...he licked and licked until i said it was too much...then he moved up to face me and kissed me...i could taste myself on his lips...on his tongue...it was very heady...
it wasnt my best oral experience, but it was one of the sweetest...together we learned what felt good and the timing of it all...sexual innocence...
cg
Monday, March 10, 2008
breakdown or breakthrough?
times have changed so much over the last hundred years...we have seen the dominance of men shift as women have been pushed/pushed themselves into the forefront of daily life, work, entertainment, and virtually everywhere...although other changes have occurred with regards to the social and cultural integration of our nation...today i want to focus on the emergence of women and the effects of their taking a larger slice of life out of the pie...
families are "breaking down" according to numerous studies done over the last couple of decades...women are leaving their children at younger ages to pursue careers out of both necessity and choice...gone are the days when the majority of young children stayed home with mom while dad zoomed off to work to keep the family movin' and groovin'...a breakdown in family values has many conservatives concerned that our country is headed for social and moral destruction...
but is it really?
the turn of the last century has seen women casting aside tradition in favor of new ideals and new beginnings...women stayed in marriages and relationships that were unfulfilling or even dangerous all because society deemed it to be taboo for a woman to be on her own...jacqueline susann's "valley of the dolls" showcased several women who played by a combination of rules...these were the women who were on the verge of creating a world where they could be successful in a male-dominated world by playing the rules when the needed to and by establishing their own...
some of that has not really changed...in today's world we have major porn stars walking the red carpet and appearing in mainstream media...they have played the rules and now are pushing at the ceiling to break out...not always with success...sometimes they find themselves scrutinized more with clothes on than they were without...
in a time where hannah montana and jenna jameson are equally valid parts of today's pop culture, this breakdown becomes more apparent and leads me to pose a simple question...where does a breakdown end and a breakthrough begin?...
a breakthrough cannot happen without a breakdown...so, essentially, yes, there has been a breakdown in the traditional values and beliefs that have guided generations of families...but tradition does not equate to better or healthy...it simply means routine and ritualistic...
this breakdown had to occur so that other values and beliefs and morals can be created...we are a country that focuses more on the individual...it makes sense, then, for all of those hinges and screws that hold the family together be tailored to the needs of that family...
today, women feel more comfortable in their own sexuality than ever before...it is no longer a man who can feel free to share a sexual life...women can enjoy it as well...porn isnt something just for men...ironically, women are more sexually responsible than men...they want to enjoy those sexual moments and know how to do so safely...
with young adults, education is key...new rules are being made...people are beginning to understand that having a prepared, well-informed teenager is a lot better than a naive, ignorant one...
life is no longer black and white...the varying shades in between mean that a woman may choose to embrace her sexuality or reject it...she has the choice...she has the power to control her satisfaction in that area now more than ever...others feel, however, that this search for sexual fulfillment comes at a cost of the family...i disagree because a fulfilled woman is more likely to do things because she can focus...she doesnt have that "i am unhappy and unfulfilled" cloud hanging over her head...her batteries full she can move about her daily life with a clearer vision because that has been crossed of her to-do list...
so what brought all this on?...not sure really...i spoke with a friend who has very traditional views and when i made the comment that tradition had more to do with routine she didnt have anything to counter it...what if traditions still said if your wife gets out of hand you can smack her around?...what if traditions still said women should not go to college?...what if traditions still said that men should never cry because it makes you less masculine?...traditions are important...they provide cohesion during times of chaos...but sometimes old traditions need to be put aside to make way for new, healthier traditions...and sometimes it takes a much needed breakdown to make way for a much needed breakthrough...
cg
families are "breaking down" according to numerous studies done over the last couple of decades...women are leaving their children at younger ages to pursue careers out of both necessity and choice...gone are the days when the majority of young children stayed home with mom while dad zoomed off to work to keep the family movin' and groovin'...a breakdown in family values has many conservatives concerned that our country is headed for social and moral destruction...
but is it really?
the turn of the last century has seen women casting aside tradition in favor of new ideals and new beginnings...women stayed in marriages and relationships that were unfulfilling or even dangerous all because society deemed it to be taboo for a woman to be on her own...jacqueline susann's "valley of the dolls" showcased several women who played by a combination of rules...these were the women who were on the verge of creating a world where they could be successful in a male-dominated world by playing the rules when the needed to and by establishing their own...
some of that has not really changed...in today's world we have major porn stars walking the red carpet and appearing in mainstream media...they have played the rules and now are pushing at the ceiling to break out...not always with success...sometimes they find themselves scrutinized more with clothes on than they were without...
in a time where hannah montana and jenna jameson are equally valid parts of today's pop culture, this breakdown becomes more apparent and leads me to pose a simple question...where does a breakdown end and a breakthrough begin?...
a breakthrough cannot happen without a breakdown...so, essentially, yes, there has been a breakdown in the traditional values and beliefs that have guided generations of families...but tradition does not equate to better or healthy...it simply means routine and ritualistic...
this breakdown had to occur so that other values and beliefs and morals can be created...we are a country that focuses more on the individual...it makes sense, then, for all of those hinges and screws that hold the family together be tailored to the needs of that family...
today, women feel more comfortable in their own sexuality than ever before...it is no longer a man who can feel free to share a sexual life...women can enjoy it as well...porn isnt something just for men...ironically, women are more sexually responsible than men...they want to enjoy those sexual moments and know how to do so safely...
with young adults, education is key...new rules are being made...people are beginning to understand that having a prepared, well-informed teenager is a lot better than a naive, ignorant one...
life is no longer black and white...the varying shades in between mean that a woman may choose to embrace her sexuality or reject it...she has the choice...she has the power to control her satisfaction in that area now more than ever...others feel, however, that this search for sexual fulfillment comes at a cost of the family...i disagree because a fulfilled woman is more likely to do things because she can focus...she doesnt have that "i am unhappy and unfulfilled" cloud hanging over her head...her batteries full she can move about her daily life with a clearer vision because that has been crossed of her to-do list...
so what brought all this on?...not sure really...i spoke with a friend who has very traditional views and when i made the comment that tradition had more to do with routine she didnt have anything to counter it...what if traditions still said if your wife gets out of hand you can smack her around?...what if traditions still said women should not go to college?...what if traditions still said that men should never cry because it makes you less masculine?...traditions are important...they provide cohesion during times of chaos...but sometimes old traditions need to be put aside to make way for new, healthier traditions...and sometimes it takes a much needed breakdown to make way for a much needed breakthrough...
cg
Sunday, March 9, 2008
my island
the world is moving around me, fast and blurry...but i dont see it, i dont care...for you, are my island...i come to you, you come to me...together we close off the world...the warm sun of your gaze burns my skin, melting away the layers of the day...the cool water of your hands rubbing along my body...the gritty sand of your stubble as you delve between my legs...the soft breezes of our whispers and moans...
my mouth travels down your body, my tongue snaking around your nipples, carving a wet path of pleasure down your stomach...and there...i feel your cock as i rub my cheek against it, my hair falling around...the tiny bead of moisture i taste with a gentle flick of my tongue...my hands feel you harden, my lips grazing the soft glans...my lips curve around your cock as i slip it inside my eager mouth...you jerk your body against my mouth...long minutes of soft sucking, hands stroking...you push me onto my back...
you stare into my eyes, holding the gaze as you rest the head of your cock against my wet lips...slowly you slide into me, never moving your eyes from mine...
pure pleasure...you stretch me slowly, filling me deeply...whispers of "fuck me"...you continue stroking me with that thick delicious cock...in and out...my hands clutch your shoulders as you begin plunging deep and hard...faster..."please" i whimper...you lower your mouth to my nipples...taking one into your mouth and tugging on it with your teeth...my nails rake up and down your back...
with your words, telling me come...i explode in your arms, my muscles contracting around your cock...squeezing every last drop out of you...
i close my eyes...and revel in the island that is mine...
cg
my mouth travels down your body, my tongue snaking around your nipples, carving a wet path of pleasure down your stomach...and there...i feel your cock as i rub my cheek against it, my hair falling around...the tiny bead of moisture i taste with a gentle flick of my tongue...my hands feel you harden, my lips grazing the soft glans...my lips curve around your cock as i slip it inside my eager mouth...you jerk your body against my mouth...long minutes of soft sucking, hands stroking...you push me onto my back...
you stare into my eyes, holding the gaze as you rest the head of your cock against my wet lips...slowly you slide into me, never moving your eyes from mine...
pure pleasure...you stretch me slowly, filling me deeply...whispers of "fuck me"...you continue stroking me with that thick delicious cock...in and out...my hands clutch your shoulders as you begin plunging deep and hard...faster..."please" i whimper...you lower your mouth to my nipples...taking one into your mouth and tugging on it with your teeth...my nails rake up and down your back...
with your words, telling me come...i explode in your arms, my muscles contracting around your cock...squeezing every last drop out of you...
i close my eyes...and revel in the island that is mine...
cg
Saturday, March 8, 2008
letting go
because g and i dont live near one another, it isnt too often that we get to see each other...he is more than amenable to scheduling in more visit days, he is just letting me do what is comfortable for me...we do talk on the phone fairly regularly and the last two nights have been...wow...um...just wow...
i love how he has this slightly "dorky" quality to his voice...it is so endearing to me...it just makes me grin every time when i think about him because of that voice that go from dork to powerful in no time...
he has a very strong personality...strong yet not overbearing...a heady combination of relaxed control and quiet charm that has me reeling at every turn...every intimate experience is always about me...never questioning, never threatening, never dominant...gentle pressure that exposes my vulnerability and somehow feels safe and warm and cradled...i never knew i needed or wanted that...
he is very quiet during those times...he knows just when to exert that last final push on my barriers so that i shatter into a thousand pieces...
we talked about this last night and he was very forthcoming with how he wants those experiences to be the best that he can make them for me because in doing so he himself is fully pleasured...he also mentioned that the moment he senses a hesitation in me that is more than just holding back he shifts...he does not want me to think about how to say no to something i may or will never be ready for, so he just glides over it with a skill i have never known...
i am blown away...how unexpected...how delightful...how utterly frightening...
letting go has always been my greatest downfall in all areas of my life...i hold on with every breath within me...my heels dig in the more i am challenged...perhaps that is why my heels dont dig in...he doesnt challenge me in that area...although everywhere else he is quite eager to challenge my views which makes more for some fun mental foreplay!...
there are just a few issues that i am not quite ready to deal with yet...emotional baggage costs a lot to check in...some arent ready to pay that price...even the most patient have their limitations...we'll see...
in the meantime...i have to find that one thing to keep my eye on so that i dont lose myself and fall into the spin...
cg
i love how he has this slightly "dorky" quality to his voice...it is so endearing to me...it just makes me grin every time when i think about him because of that voice that go from dork to powerful in no time...
he has a very strong personality...strong yet not overbearing...a heady combination of relaxed control and quiet charm that has me reeling at every turn...every intimate experience is always about me...never questioning, never threatening, never dominant...gentle pressure that exposes my vulnerability and somehow feels safe and warm and cradled...i never knew i needed or wanted that...
he is very quiet during those times...he knows just when to exert that last final push on my barriers so that i shatter into a thousand pieces...
we talked about this last night and he was very forthcoming with how he wants those experiences to be the best that he can make them for me because in doing so he himself is fully pleasured...he also mentioned that the moment he senses a hesitation in me that is more than just holding back he shifts...he does not want me to think about how to say no to something i may or will never be ready for, so he just glides over it with a skill i have never known...
i am blown away...how unexpected...how delightful...how utterly frightening...
letting go has always been my greatest downfall in all areas of my life...i hold on with every breath within me...my heels dig in the more i am challenged...perhaps that is why my heels dont dig in...he doesnt challenge me in that area...although everywhere else he is quite eager to challenge my views which makes more for some fun mental foreplay!...
there are just a few issues that i am not quite ready to deal with yet...emotional baggage costs a lot to check in...some arent ready to pay that price...even the most patient have their limitations...we'll see...
in the meantime...i have to find that one thing to keep my eye on so that i dont lose myself and fall into the spin...
cg
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
body parts
here is my personal review of the human male anatomy...let's begin with the feet and work our way up, shall we?
feet - nothing very impressive about feet, except i do like when a man's feet has a bit of hair on them...it just makes them look ever so much more masculine...oddly long toes are a fascination, but they just look uncomfortable to me...no long toe nails, please, let's keep those puppies trimmed to a respectable length...
legs - eh, i dont know if i ever look at a man's legs for too long...but again, i do like the appearance of hair...hairless men's legs are a bit creepy to me...hairless mean are a bit creepy to me...makes me question my femininity...
balls - mmm..yum...one of my favorite parts...i love nice, heavy balls...but i dont want to go bobbing for apples in a rainforest...a little trim goes a long way...but dont take all the hair away...i find a bit of hair in the nether regions sexy...tells me this is a man not a little boy...my mouth is watering thinking about taking a nice full pair into my mouth...
cock - my personal prefernce for a circumcised cock is only due to the fact that i have only been with circumcised men...but i find all cocks to be beautiful and simply delicious...the soft glans...the rigid shaft...mmm...i like them soft as well...i enjoy stroking a soft cock, it's so cuddly...rubbing it against my face...i almost expect it to purr like a kitten...and i am utterly fascinated with that juicy little slit on the head...makes me want to press my tongue against it...
ass - i am all about grabbing a man's ass...squeezing it and giving it a playful smack just because...and i have yet to find a man who did not like having his ass rubbed and stroked...
back - i love skin...the skin on a man's back can be so hot (to the touch) and full of a kind of power...hair or no hair doesnt bother me, so long as i dont feel like i am touching bigfoot, we are good to go...
stomach - man bellies are so cute...yes, i said cute...i love how a man will make soft sounds when you rub his tummy in soft circles...
chest - yeah, a little hair here is a lot of fun...and the nipples...i love to play with a man's nipples...you never know, though, how some men react...some love it, others are too sensitive...
arms - just a pair of nice arms to wrap around me...nuff said...
hands - what is it about strong solid hands that get me everytime...i love looking at a man's hands...they say so much...
neck - okay, i have a thing with smells and i absolutely love love love the manly scent you find around the sides and back of a man's neck...wow, i get so aroused just with that scent alone...
lips/mouth - i have kinda full lips and i love kissing...but no onions...they just do not leave your mouth no matter how well you brush and rinse and flosss...and all i can think about is...it's like i am eating the damn onion...bleh...and guys, a little chapstick goes a long way...dont slice and dice my lips...i like them just fine the way they are...
ears - mmm...another yummy thing to nibble on...hehehehe...earrings or no earring...not sure if i have a preference...just so long as i can nibble..i think probably no earrings would be a preference...but its not exactly a deal breaker...
nose - never really thought about it...hmmm...now i will have to consider this a bit more...
eyes - without a doubt, dark eyes get me every time...its like they just pull me in...something dark and mysterious...ironically, i have only dated one man with dark eyes...i will keep dreaming of my dark-eyed seducer...although, my current interest does have dark eyes...
hair - hair or no hair, doesnt matter too much...
mind - oooh...my favorite part!!...lol...seriously i love a man who isnt afraid to use his brain and will have heated discussions with me...intelligence is a huge turn on...let me in so i can crawl inside your head and make it my island getaway...if you dare...
so there is my little review/overview of the male anatomy...i am sure it was a rather brief outline...but you get the picture...
still thinking about those nice balls...mmm...
cg
feet - nothing very impressive about feet, except i do like when a man's feet has a bit of hair on them...it just makes them look ever so much more masculine...oddly long toes are a fascination, but they just look uncomfortable to me...no long toe nails, please, let's keep those puppies trimmed to a respectable length...
legs - eh, i dont know if i ever look at a man's legs for too long...but again, i do like the appearance of hair...hairless men's legs are a bit creepy to me...hairless mean are a bit creepy to me...makes me question my femininity...
balls - mmm..yum...one of my favorite parts...i love nice, heavy balls...but i dont want to go bobbing for apples in a rainforest...a little trim goes a long way...but dont take all the hair away...i find a bit of hair in the nether regions sexy...tells me this is a man not a little boy...my mouth is watering thinking about taking a nice full pair into my mouth...
cock - my personal prefernce for a circumcised cock is only due to the fact that i have only been with circumcised men...but i find all cocks to be beautiful and simply delicious...the soft glans...the rigid shaft...mmm...i like them soft as well...i enjoy stroking a soft cock, it's so cuddly...rubbing it against my face...i almost expect it to purr like a kitten...and i am utterly fascinated with that juicy little slit on the head...makes me want to press my tongue against it...
ass - i am all about grabbing a man's ass...squeezing it and giving it a playful smack just because...and i have yet to find a man who did not like having his ass rubbed and stroked...
back - i love skin...the skin on a man's back can be so hot (to the touch) and full of a kind of power...hair or no hair doesnt bother me, so long as i dont feel like i am touching bigfoot, we are good to go...
stomach - man bellies are so cute...yes, i said cute...i love how a man will make soft sounds when you rub his tummy in soft circles...
chest - yeah, a little hair here is a lot of fun...and the nipples...i love to play with a man's nipples...you never know, though, how some men react...some love it, others are too sensitive...
arms - just a pair of nice arms to wrap around me...nuff said...
hands - what is it about strong solid hands that get me everytime...i love looking at a man's hands...they say so much...
neck - okay, i have a thing with smells and i absolutely love love love the manly scent you find around the sides and back of a man's neck...wow, i get so aroused just with that scent alone...
lips/mouth - i have kinda full lips and i love kissing...but no onions...they just do not leave your mouth no matter how well you brush and rinse and flosss...and all i can think about is...it's like i am eating the damn onion...bleh...and guys, a little chapstick goes a long way...dont slice and dice my lips...i like them just fine the way they are...
ears - mmm...another yummy thing to nibble on...hehehehe...earrings or no earring...not sure if i have a preference...just so long as i can nibble..i think probably no earrings would be a preference...but its not exactly a deal breaker...
nose - never really thought about it...hmmm...now i will have to consider this a bit more...
eyes - without a doubt, dark eyes get me every time...its like they just pull me in...something dark and mysterious...ironically, i have only dated one man with dark eyes...i will keep dreaming of my dark-eyed seducer...although, my current interest does have dark eyes...
hair - hair or no hair, doesnt matter too much...
mind - oooh...my favorite part!!...lol...seriously i love a man who isnt afraid to use his brain and will have heated discussions with me...intelligence is a huge turn on...let me in so i can crawl inside your head and make it my island getaway...if you dare...
so there is my little review/overview of the male anatomy...i am sure it was a rather brief outline...but you get the picture...
still thinking about those nice balls...mmm...
cg
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
first times
if we could go back and change the first time we had sex...would we change anything?...the person?...the place?...not sure what has me thinking about that first time...except perhaps that i have just had a lovely, juicy masturbating session and as i was flipping around for a little porn to peruse, i came across the supposed "first time" between two young lovers...the one thing i will always remember...i never came...he did...twice...he cried the first time...i was like..um, is that it?...well, i didnt exactly say those words but i sure as hell was thinking them even while i was patting/rubbing his back trying to soothe him...
we had been together for about a year...he had always been on the emotional side...we had discussed sex for a while before we actually did anything about it... we were both virgins and he said even if we broke up (i think he could sense my growing lack of interest) he wanted me to be his first...
he started by going down on me...he was pretty good at this, i will give him credit...i remember thinking...i wonder if it will hurt...so, he puts on the condom and then tells me how much he loves me and that he is so happy we are doing this...blah, blah, blah...too much talking...hurry it along now...
right before he enters me, his cock is right on my outer lips when it goes soft lol...he whispered (in a rather high-pitched squeal) "oh no!"...he looks at his soft dick and says "you have to help me, do something!"...for some reason i thought he was talking to his dick...when i didnt say/do anything he looked in my eyes..."do something!"...(evidently he got really nervous and was afraid he would be bad...he was)...so after a few strokes from my hand and a few soft whispers he was good to go again...my last thought was...hmm...i wonder if what they say is true about size...
it was...he was panting and huffing and puffing..."it's in!"...i stupidly asked...are you sure?...lol...he said, cant you feel it?...um, no, dumbass or else i wouldnt have asked...moron...
he tells me he wants to be gentle...so he going really slowly...really...really slowly...i felt him push through my hymen and it hurt...but he never pushed hard enough so it was like a constant bump against it...i said just do it!...
i didnt think he would take that to mean "just ejaculate"...
tears slid down his cheeks...that was so beautiful, he whispers as he looks into my eyes...um...what was beautiful...those 45 seconds of awkwardness?...
did you come, he asks...i wonder if your face can relay the whole dot dot dot thing...no, i told him...so he says, i'll be right back..
20 minutes later he emerges from the bathroom...he is determined to make me come....so heeere we go again...
less than five minutes later he is crying because he "selfishly had an orgasm while you didnt"...whatever...
the whole process was so ridiculous that i dont even think it would be funny to watch...just...awkward or painful...
so if i could go back and change anything...would i?...i dont know...as terrible as it was probably not...at least i can say that i have had really really really bad sex that no one could ever top...sometimes i do wonder if he was secretly gay-waitin-to-happen or just bi-curious-waiting-to-happen...
so there...first times...never what you think they will be...you know...it really was horrible sex...i wonder what's worse...bad sex or no sex...and yes, there is such a thing as BAD sex...
cg
we had been together for about a year...he had always been on the emotional side...we had discussed sex for a while before we actually did anything about it... we were both virgins and he said even if we broke up (i think he could sense my growing lack of interest) he wanted me to be his first...
he started by going down on me...he was pretty good at this, i will give him credit...i remember thinking...i wonder if it will hurt...so, he puts on the condom and then tells me how much he loves me and that he is so happy we are doing this...blah, blah, blah...too much talking...hurry it along now...
right before he enters me, his cock is right on my outer lips when it goes soft lol...he whispered (in a rather high-pitched squeal) "oh no!"...he looks at his soft dick and says "you have to help me, do something!"...for some reason i thought he was talking to his dick...when i didnt say/do anything he looked in my eyes..."do something!"...(evidently he got really nervous and was afraid he would be bad...he was)...so after a few strokes from my hand and a few soft whispers he was good to go again...my last thought was...hmm...i wonder if what they say is true about size...
it was...he was panting and huffing and puffing..."it's in!"...i stupidly asked...are you sure?...lol...he said, cant you feel it?...um, no, dumbass or else i wouldnt have asked...moron...
he tells me he wants to be gentle...so he going really slowly...really...really slowly...i felt him push through my hymen and it hurt...but he never pushed hard enough so it was like a constant bump against it...i said just do it!...
i didnt think he would take that to mean "just ejaculate"...
tears slid down his cheeks...that was so beautiful, he whispers as he looks into my eyes...um...what was beautiful...those 45 seconds of awkwardness?...
did you come, he asks...i wonder if your face can relay the whole dot dot dot thing...no, i told him...so he says, i'll be right back..
20 minutes later he emerges from the bathroom...he is determined to make me come....so heeere we go again...
less than five minutes later he is crying because he "selfishly had an orgasm while you didnt"...whatever...
the whole process was so ridiculous that i dont even think it would be funny to watch...just...awkward or painful...
so if i could go back and change anything...would i?...i dont know...as terrible as it was probably not...at least i can say that i have had really really really bad sex that no one could ever top...sometimes i do wonder if he was secretly gay-waitin-to-happen or just bi-curious-waiting-to-happen...
so there...first times...never what you think they will be...you know...it really was horrible sex...i wonder what's worse...bad sex or no sex...and yes, there is such a thing as BAD sex...
cg
Monday, March 3, 2008
my muse
oh, how you inspire me...you make me want so much...more..."jump!" you cry out...i dont ask why or how high...i revel in the joyful abandon of letting you lead me to silvery inspiration...a thousand times i float in your gaze...feeling your energy feed me...oh, how you inspire me...
cg
cg
Sunday, March 2, 2008
speak to me only with thine eyes
there is something about a person's eyes that can be quite unnerving under certain conditions...that silent hold of a strong gaze can leave one quite breathless...without even the slightest touch...
it is the most intimate encounter, more so than any physical contact...perhaps that is why so many people falter under a strong stare or cannot look others' in the eye...eye contact can you feeling naked, vulnerable, defenseless...cold and hot at the same time...
so why do i look away when he looks at my eyes...i want to stare forever...but even the slightest brush of the eyes sends me stammering and flushing like a teenage virgin...
cg
it is the most intimate encounter, more so than any physical contact...perhaps that is why so many people falter under a strong stare or cannot look others' in the eye...eye contact can you feeling naked, vulnerable, defenseless...cold and hot at the same time...
so why do i look away when he looks at my eyes...i want to stare forever...but even the slightest brush of the eyes sends me stammering and flushing like a teenage virgin...
cg
resolution
i went to see a friend over the weekend...we had been on the outs for a while...our first major disagreement in years...ever, actually...sometimes we forget that while it is so easy to burn bridges, it takes so much work to build them...then, of course, some bridges are in need of burning...
cg
cg
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