Monday, March 17, 2008

a brief first

i've been reading some blogs by marcello , mrs kelley , and 24/7 , and they started me thinking about a similar experience that i had a few years ago...(btw, their blogs entail varying forms of bdsm)...

it had been a while since my last relationship and i met this guy, M, through a friend...very intelligent and in the medical field, i never in a million years would have guessed this guy to be into the whole D/s thing...i am very outspoken, when i choose to be, and i have a tendency for being slightly abrasive with my humor and expectations...that first night we met he shared a previous long-term relationship with me...he was the sub and he very much enjoyed it...after a lengthy description of some of the things they would do together (during which i will have to admit i was more than mildly aroused and curious) he asked if i had ever considered taking part in something like that...

i laughed and shook my head...but...i was very curious...curious enough to be rather bold...i leaned across the table and told him to pay the bill and to meet me out by the car...he had 3 minutes or i would leave without him (we arrived in separate vehicles)...

he came flying out of the restaurant, his face flushed and his eyes bright...he opened his mouth to say something to which i gave my sternest "teacher" look...he could not speak unless i gave him leave to...

we went to his place, i drove his car...i made him crawl inside his house and show me where he kept his "toys"...i was thrilled with the results...i am naturally very "dominant" in many ways...my brief experience with relationships usually had me as the "dominant" one and the guy tagging along somewhere behind...on more than one occasion i recall fighting back the urge to take things to a different level....but i didnt know how or why or anything else....

from that day forward, he referred to me as Mistress...he NEVER was allowed to use my given name under ANY circumstances...honestly, i was making it up as i went along...it didnt occur to me to look anything up...he completely followed my lead and never once offered any information, nor did i request anything from him...

if i felt he enjoyed something a little too much or had done something to provoke a certain action, i did something totally different or that i knew for a fact he did not like...i told him that he was not in control...if he thought sulking was a way to make me feel sorry for him, it did not work...and he would suffer the consequences....

i remember once, i was brushing my hair (i have a wooden boar bristle brush) and he asked if he could brush my hair...i made him kneel down and paddled him...this was not unusual...the fact that i turned the brush around mid-whack so that the bristles landed against his balls was....he howled but did not even try to move...his instant erection told me that he enjoyed it...

the odd thing about this relationship was that we didnt really have that much in common...it was very brief...only a few months...he ended up moving for his job and we parted amicably...it's been several years and i dont normally talk about it with any of the men i have talked to since that time, largely because i dont know what they would think and also because it isnt their concern...

i dont regret the experiences we shared...if i had to do it all over again i would change a thing...i learned a lot about myself and relationships during that time...he had complete trust in me...the idea of a "safeword" never entered our minds...could i have done it long-term?...i dont know...probably not...do i miss it sometimes?...yes...i feel as if i didnt finish learning whatever it is i was supposed to learn...to be honest, i had forgotten about it until reading some related blogs recently...i am amazed at the dedication, time, and commitment that couples like richard/amy and emma/scott have...

oh, the things that make me curious!

cg

3 curious people say...:

mnwhr said...

Living a BDSM lifestyle seems great, but I can't help but think there is even more to it than a vanilla relationship

curiousgirl said...

i think all relationships are what they need to be for that time being...i dont know if there is any such thing as "permanence" with regard to a relationship... i suppose they just naturally evolve ...or de-evolve...depending on those in it...

cg

the_beast_within said...

I'm very impressed with your boldness and how you let your curiosity lead you into new experiences without fear. Very few people can do that. And the whole story is very arousing, and I'm not even sub. ;0)