tmi tuesday #167 - happy new year!

(this is a bit late...i started it yesterday afternoon and just now got the chance to finish it)

1. Last week was "The Most Wonderful time of the Year", but what are your favorite 2008 memories?

my favorite memories of 2008...coming here in an effort to explore myself (both sexually and non-sexually)...re-connecting with an old friend or two...vacation time...yeah, boring i suppose, but that's like asking "what's your favorite reason for living?"...

2. What is the best thing you learned in 2008?

to keep certain thoughts to myself...either people see you differently and fault you for tarnishing the vision they created of of you or they twist things to suit their need of the moment...

3. On a scale of 1-10, how good was your 2008?

7...not terrible, but it was an emotionally charged year...but i have had a lot of work satisfaction so it all evens out...

4. What is your wish for 2009? What is your wish for someone else for 2009?

for myself...i really need to work on finishing what i start...i get all these ideas that i want to do and i get distracted with them so my ideas often stay in my head...

for someone else...i hope that this person never lets fear or despair cloud their view of life...it's brighter than you can imagine...

5. Where was the first place you ever passionately kissed?

on the playground...hey, it was passionate at the time in my mind!!...i dare you to say that a six-year-old cannot feel intensely...lol...

Bonus (as in optional):Do you make New Year's resolutions? What is/are your's for 2009?

i used to want to make resolutions...but then i realized it's like putting a starting point for goals...you shouldnt have to wait for the word "GO!" to know when to start making a change...change can happen at any time of the year, day and night...

cg

secret admiree(s)

the long and windy path of a blogger leads them to interact with others they normally would not for various reasons...but, nevertheless, a bond is forged through those interactions..and sometimes...a crush...ah, yes...boy meets girl...or boy...or boy and girl...you get the drift...

which made me think about my little blogger crushes...you may think you know, but you will never guess all of them...yes, more than one!...

do you have a secret blogger crush?...does someone have one on you?...i sound so adolescent, yet it is intriguing isnt it?...so many of us are like one great big afternoon tea...and a nice side of gossip is just the thing...

i wonder if you know that i have a crush on you...or you..or you...;)

cg

missed opportunities and inspirations

last night i was supposed to meet up with musician...he was going to be somewhat in my vicinity and offered to hang out...but then i got busy with family and he got busy with his friends and then he had to go to a gig...

not sure how i feel about him...a friend of mine says that he can tell that we are attracted to each other and that it seems inevitable that something will develop...i am not so sure...i like that he has his own thing and doesnt call all the damn time and gives me space, but i dont like when ppl say "oh, hey, i'll call you tonight" or whatevs and they dont...eh, for a friend that's fine...sometimes...but all the time?...yeah, i lose interest...we'll see...

but i was talking to bi-guy last night...it had been a while since we'd chatted...he is friends with my sis too, but he and i are closer....he wanted to know if there were any cute guys...said he just wanted to find a nice, sweet guy for his first time...he thinks he just needs to get it out of his system...lol...ah, if he only knew!!...

i dont' know why the idea of him being topped by another man is so arousing to me...it isnt like i have always had that fantasy...it only developed through knowing him...we have a lot in common so that is the basis for our friendship...and he is very interested in women...but as i have mentioned before on here, he has long had a sexual interest in men that goes back and forth...the last few months he hasnt denied it as much and is actually wanting to find a woman that will both accept and encourage his interest in men...

aneris and i were talking about chb the other day (he posted a pic of himself in his undies and she was saying how cute he was and nice his legs were)...and i told her yeah, i just want to rape him!! hahaha...not literally, but you get the idea...

bi-guy and i have gotten into this little pattern where he brings up the idea of me choosing men ( i sometimes point out, oh look at that guy, he's your type)...and he gets excited and i get excited...so i create this fantasy for him based on the guy we focus on from afar...and he gets so hot that he uses our scenario to jack off to...

over the course of this blog i have come to realize that an individually our sexuality does not have to fit into a single mold and make sense to everyone...as long as it makes sense to ourselves in the fact that we know what arouses us...and how to arouse others who may share those stimulations...instead of fighting ourselves to accept what others press upon us as what "should" be stimulating...

cg

ear candy

added a lil playlist..well, only part of it shows, but it works! lol...a more fun way to share my current ear candy...

(am i the only one who totally hears the bruce springsteen influence on sex on fire??...ppl tell me i'm crazy, but i swear it is old school bruce!!)

cg

who am i?

i was reading up on a couple of older posts that aneris had on her blog and i ran across one about women and friendships...anyhow, mnwhr commented "i am one of those who believes the company you keep says a lot about you, but i think it's good to keep around those folks who balance you"

what do the people i associate with in "real life" and in blogger land say about me?...hmm...to make things more interesting, i chose at random three people i know in "real life" and three i know here in blogger land...i wont give out names i will just do numbers...

"real life" homies

#1 - he is extremely exasperating with an IQ totally off the charts...and the husband of a friend...sometimes i hang out with both, sometimes just me and her, and sometimes just me and him...weird?...he whines and complains about the evils of society and conformity...he worries about the roots of all evil...he is disdainful of modern technology...he has the social graces of both a player and a tree...he can be rude as hell and thoughtful to a fault...

#2 - she pulled on me for so long...calling me for this or that (emotional neediness)...then when she got her shit together flew away with the birds...when we talk it is like none of that time has gone by...we can go months without talking and then suddenly pick back up again and have the best time...we always have a great time...we are total opposites...she thinks porn is an evil thing...

#3 - he is the closest thing i have to a best friend...we admit that we must have known each other in a former life...purely platonic...we are like brother and sister...he is so driven and yet cant let go of things in his past...he is too methodical and cynical at times...we share the same love of reading, music, and movies...intensely so...we often write together...he is one of perhaps two or three people i know that know me so well...he would be both surprised and not surprised at all i have done and considered in my life...

blogger land weirdos

#1 - she is both fun and wickedly intelligent...we do "get" each other too much at times...she is both open and closed...open-minded and closed off...she is creative and worldly, yet appreciates the quiet life...we different, yet the same...

#2 - she is insanely funny and just amazes me with her shenanigans...i havent known her all that long, but we seem to have certain things in common...i am able to explore new ideas through her blog...

#3 - he is thoughtful and intense...his words and ability to communicate are strong and have a nice flow...there is an openness and decisiveness about him...he does not make excuses and sees no reason to...his life is what it is...

i should mention, that of all 6 -
4 of them are very sexual
3 of them enjoy a good drink (i dont really know about the bloggers)
1 of the "real lifers" smokes; 1 of the "real lifers" has a self-piercing from when he was younger
1 has experienced sex outside of marriage
1 has been cheated on
1 has a desire to have sex with me (my friend's husband) he has mentioned this once or twice and says his wife would be okay with it
2 are younger than i am
2 are my age within a year or two
2 are at least ten years older

so, anyone care to analyze who i am based on who i hang out with both here and outside of the blogger world??

cg

i effin hate holidays

i tried this year to get into the whole christmas spirit...jingle bells, santa smells and all that jazz...but the fact is this: i want to be alone on christmas...i have always felt that way...no, i am not depressed...i just dont like all the hoopla it comes with...

people are cranky, stupid presents that dont mean anything, people that think they know you and dont...

i just wanted to be alone...but can i have that one little thing?...of course not, people put that pressure "oh, it'll be fun" or "but we havent seen you in a while, i was hoping we could catch up"...why the fuck for?...if you really wanted to "catch up" you wouldnt have dropped from existence, thus necessitating a need for "catching up"...you would already have been there all along or at least drifting in and out periodically...

then...with no time (literally) to do anything for myself, let alone do the stupid christmas shopping, i sent my sister to do the deed...and she did well...but...it's christmas eve...and she forgot to get things to put the gifts in...what, should i be like fucking santa and carry it all in a big red sack and say "oh, hi, i am being eco-friendly, so no wrapping paper/bags this year!"...yeah, they would so not get that...

then...all i wanted to do was blow dry my fucking hair...and i said...i am going to blow dry my hair...she saw me doing it...so what does she do...she goes and turns hers on...after the fourth time of the dryer stopping, i throw it on the floor and go to her room "tell me when you're done so i can do my hair" ...so i was snappy...i am pissy dammit...

dont ask me what's wrong...it doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure it out...you didnt do the things i asked you to do, i have a headache, i am hungry, i want to blow dry my hair but cant...and if you are a woman, you know this...once your hair dries naturally, what the fuck point is there to fucking blow drying your hair??...so now, with less than two hours before we have to leave, i have to re-wash my hair...why re-wash...because i had already put other hair products into my hair and when it gets re-wet it never works...i've tried...

i want to scream and cry and say "fuck off" to christmas...

sonofa...

cranky bitch (formerly known as cg)

tmi tuesday #166 - merry christmas!

1. What do present do you hope ends up under you tree?

honestly...just quiet...gift cards for barnes and noble, itunes...i'd love a few things to be done to my car, but that is something else entirely!

2. What present are you most psyched about giving (PLEASE be vague or ignore this question if the recipient reads your blog)?

nothing really...i get things during the year for people as the whim strikes me...but i am rather pleased with a gift for my mother that i know will make her cry...but then...she ALWAYS cries for everything...

3. DO you prefer to give or receive?

i like giving gifts to people...i am not too keen on receiving because i think i can be hard to shop for...it's true, and i will admit it!...sometimes people will give me gifts and i think...wtf gave this person the idea that i would be even remotely interested in this???...

4. What is your favorite part off a sexual partner's body?

havent i answered this somewhere before??

5. What is your favorite part your body - the one you hope a sexual partner will find or pay the most attention to?

i really enjoy having my hair brushed and played with...it is the softest, most stimulating thing...makes my nipples hard and makes me tingle in so many places ;)...and my neck..although i have a habit of laughing because it is my most ticklish spot!...

Bonus (as in optional): [Idea blatently stolen from Os and hist HNT wishes.] What Christmas wishes would you grant to whom?

i wish that all of you get your wishes this christmas...

cg

minor changes

made a few minor changes...i am updating my links list...and...i actually have a follower...everybody give her a wave, lol...so i added that to my side bar and i put my top links that i visit the most under "addictions"...if yours isnt on that list, it isnt that i dont love you...i do!...but there are some i check out first and they come to my blog a lot as well...

i am also thinking of other changes, but not sure what...it's like i want to paint the walls...but i have no idea what color...bleh...

cg

soldier boy drama and dreams

he may/may not be here in two weeks...his temper has gotten him into trouble and he's frustrated with himself and now in anger mgmt...honestly, i feel bad for him...this is what happens when the country is so immersed in all these worldly struggles...the "losses" are the mental stability of our people...their emotional faculties are compromised...but, hey, at least someone didnt let his convictions suffer so that he could be more popular...

actually, how soldier boy got to this place is his own fault and he knows it...he has a mouth and he let it rip one too many times...not smart...

i had a dream last night...that i was trapped in a convenience store and i couldnt get out...i wasnt exactly trying to get out, and there was an entire "community" living in there...but i was aware that there was something beyond the glaring glass of the windows...every time i tried to look closer at the "glowing" windows, something distracted me and i was once again lost in the aisles....

my distraction was always the same...this man....he was a bit taller than myself...dark hair, kinda wavy and a bit on the long side...his skin was darker than mine, but he wasnt black...just like that darker tan from being out in the sun a lot...he had this soft, enticing voice that lured me back with a single word...

oddly enough, i do not know anyone that fits that description...ah, well...every woman has her dream of a "tall, dark, and handsome man"...maybe my mind subconsciously planted it in there...

then again, i have also dreamt that i was in a large pool of water with vampires at the bottom of castle but they didnt want to bite me, they were my friends...go figure...

cg

how you move me

i am sitting here waiting for the polish on my toe nails to dry before we head out for the night...and i thought i would share (for those who would like to know! - and if you dont, go fuck yourself) the songs that are currently the soundtrack of my life...some old, some new...enjoy! (or not!)...

"lollipop" - framing hanley (this is a super-fun version of lil wayne's "lollipop" song - i like both versions, but this one is on my current playlist)


"white rabbit" - jefferson airplane (this song makes me feel strong and defiant - grace slick's vocals are cool)


"always where i need to be" - the kooks (just pure uk pop - love it, love it)


"nine 2 five" - the ordinary boys/lady sov (older song, but another fun song - originally by lady sov)

(embedding disabled - here is the link )

"cookie jar" - gym class heroes (all you pervs should like this one)



"green light" - john legend/andre 3000 (i absolutely love john legend - he has such a sexy voice and his music is both sensual and full of life)



"let it rock" - kevin rudolf/lil wayne (just a fun song)

(again, no embedding here is the link)

"i dont care" - apocalyptica/adam gontier (embedding disabled again, here's the link )

damn, that's all i can do...i am being summoned!!

cg

"santa baby"

santa baby,
flip me over onto your knee,
just me -
i've been an awful bad girl,
santa baby,
and hurry up and fill me tonight!

santa baby, several bottles of lube will do, not two
you can tie me, my dear
santa baby,
and hurry up and thrill me tonight!

think of all the times you slipped,
that great big cock inside me, i hope you fit!
tomorrow will be just as good,
if you'll just tease my little clit!

santa baby,
i want a lot of really hot sex, that's not
something not once a year
santa baby,
so hurry up and bang me tonight!

santa baby,
there's so much that you could do to me,
you'll see,
we could have so much fun,
santa baby,
so hurry up and screw me tonight!

happy holidays!

;)

cg

why do boobies...

...hurt when you get cold...
...feel like they are going to pop sometimes...
...look great in bras but feel better out of them...
...have special names (mitties - man titties; moobs - man boobs) btw, mitties are smaller than moobs...

cg

tmi tuesday #164

1. Do you consider sexy underthings a present for you or your partner?

hmm...good question...truthfully, men in sexy underwear dont always turn me on...i dont like him picking things out for me though, i'd rather get it myself...picky, picky, i know...

2. What are 3 characteristics of "your type"? Have you best relationship(s) been with your type or when you have gone against it?

three characteristics, huh...well, i'll be generous...i will give both physical and non-physical characteristics...

physical - dark eyes, strong hands, nice lips

non-physical - great mind, great voice (it has to do with the way how he speaks...typically he doesnt rush...he could have an accent or not...i cant explain it...interestingly enough, a lot hinges on the voice), sense of calm (goes well with my spritzy nature)

3. What is on your Santa list this year?

damn my indecision...

4. Generally speaking, who has historically had a higher libido, you or your partner(s)?

hmm...i would say myself...yet i also historically take forever to get to that point...

5. The unsculptured female bush seems to have passed from fashion. What about men, do you think they need to trim and shave "down there"?

well, it depends...on how long the trip to the cottage is and how dense the forest grows...i actually prefer some hair down there on a man...aesthetically, it just appeals to me more...plus, more stuff to play with...

Bonus (as in optional):What are a few of your favorite things (both sexual non-sexual)?

this is a dumb question...i wont answer it...i refuse to...let's see how many of you pay attention around here...what do YOU think a few of my favorite things are based on my loopy rants and raves...

cg

morning wake up calls...good or bad?

musician has taken to calling me in the mornings before he heads off to work (and before i even wake up!)...he works late nights and just calls every so often to touch base and stuff...

i havent yet decided if i like the calls, though...at first they were sweet...but now...eh...i like my sleep...

early morning i sound like a croaky frog while mr chipper chats it up...

when do those early morning calls go from "aww, that's so thoughtful" to "leave me the fuck alone so i can get some friggin sleep!"...

cg

hungry??

please, please, please go see mrs. candy's current posting ...she has a clip she found about a restaurant that specializes in penises...it is both interesting and hilarious!...

cg

"soldier boy, oh my little soldier boy!"

so he has been calling and texting and calling and texting...enough!...i told him he needs to focus and not call me at ridiculous hours of the morning, noon, and night...i dont always have my phone on me...or it is on silent...

then...musician called...honestly, he is really nice...there is a nice, quick-witted banter between us that i havent felt in a long time...i enjoy that fast-paced teasing and joking around, but people are either too silly or not quick enough...

will it develop into anything more?...not really sure...he has a seriously hectic schedule and i know he really loves what he does...

and, no, nothing sexual or anything like that...perhaps because when we met things were a bit different so getting into anything serious would feel strange...

the holidays are upon us...what is on my wish list...

hmm...some movies, some music, some books...weird, i cant really think of anything major that i want...it always comes and goes...

what's on your "secret" santa list?...

curious minds want to know...

cg

tmi tuesday #163

1. What are your turn-ons?

intelligence, when a guy can use his hands to create or build things, grill skillz, when a guy will just let me be who i am and accept that i am absolutely insane without trying to figure me out

2. What are your turn-offs?

telling me what to do...it'll never work and i will never listen, being clingy and needy, not liking football, someone who loves the mall

3. Not counting your turn-ons, what's the best trait a person can have?

the ability to make me smile...even when i dont feel like it...and not by "campy" humor

4. Not counting your turn-offs, what's the worst trait a person can have?

no passion...for life or anything...even if there is one thing that moves a person...but to have no passion...is hard for someone like me...

5. What's your biggest pet peeve?

hmm..i dont know really...i'll have to think on this one...


Bonus (as in optional):Describe your best and worst experience. (experience of what???)

cg