Sunday, December 28, 2008

missed opportunities and inspirations

last night i was supposed to meet up with musician...he was going to be somewhat in my vicinity and offered to hang out...but then i got busy with family and he got busy with his friends and then he had to go to a gig...

not sure how i feel about him...a friend of mine says that he can tell that we are attracted to each other and that it seems inevitable that something will develop...i am not so sure...i like that he has his own thing and doesnt call all the damn time and gives me space, but i dont like when ppl say "oh, hey, i'll call you tonight" or whatevs and they dont...eh, for a friend that's fine...sometimes...but all the time?...yeah, i lose interest...we'll see...

but i was talking to bi-guy last night...it had been a while since we'd chatted...he is friends with my sis too, but he and i are closer....he wanted to know if there were any cute guys...said he just wanted to find a nice, sweet guy for his first time...he thinks he just needs to get it out of his system...lol...ah, if he only knew!!...

i dont' know why the idea of him being topped by another man is so arousing to me...it isnt like i have always had that fantasy...it only developed through knowing him...we have a lot in common so that is the basis for our friendship...and he is very interested in women...but as i have mentioned before on here, he has long had a sexual interest in men that goes back and forth...the last few months he hasnt denied it as much and is actually wanting to find a woman that will both accept and encourage his interest in men...

aneris and i were talking about chb the other day (he posted a pic of himself in his undies and she was saying how cute he was and nice his legs were)...and i told her yeah, i just want to rape him!! hahaha...not literally, but you get the idea...

bi-guy and i have gotten into this little pattern where he brings up the idea of me choosing men ( i sometimes point out, oh look at that guy, he's your type)...and he gets excited and i get excited...so i create this fantasy for him based on the guy we focus on from afar...and he gets so hot that he uses our scenario to jack off to...

over the course of this blog i have come to realize that an individually our sexuality does not have to fit into a single mold and make sense to everyone...as long as it makes sense to ourselves in the fact that we know what arouses us...and how to arouse others who may share those stimulations...instead of fighting ourselves to accept what others press upon us as what "should" be stimulating...

cg

5 curious people say...:

Aneris said...

Yes, CHB is yummy.

I think it is such a personal decision, who and what we like, that attracts us. I am glad bi-guy is honest about his needs.

Merlin said...

Very true. Society tends to frown on manifestations of sexuality that do not result in healthy children ready to sacrifice their lives (working or, in the case of armed service people, actual) for the good of the state. But in truth any sexual activity between consenting adults makes them feel better and should be encouraged for that reason alone.

mnwhr said...

Being strong enough to act on attraction outside the conventional takes guts. It's good to have such friends.

curiousgirl said...

@aneris - he is becoming more comfortable with it...i dont know if he would ever be "open" but i do think he wants to find a girl that would be okay with his being attracted to men...

@merlin - such words of wisdom...and very true...

@mnwhr - he really is a good guy...i hope that he does find whatever it is he is looking for...

cg

my said...
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