Monday, October 20, 2008

skim, 2%, or white russian?

seems that the topic for today in the blogosphere has been vanilla sex talk with both percy and miss i making references to it in their blogs...so it got me thinking...how vanilla can a person get...and i have come up with a handy-dandy reference chart for those times you are in bed with your SO (sexual other) and wondering..."what is vanilla sex??"

here we go!

Skim milk - this is the barest of the bare...we are talking no love words or sex talk, no foreplay, just push up the old lady's flannel nightgown, stroke a couple of times, cum once then roll over and snore...this is ALWAYS missionary position....there is NEVER oral sex or any kind of holding or kissing...porn is a four letter word here...masturbation what??...

2% milk - this is a for those totally Christian lovers that hold true to their church's teachings (do NOT send in hater-ade comments, we are all here to learn - even you Bible humpers, er, thumpers...this category is for those that do enjoy kissing and some amounts of holding...married women of thirty years will reach for their husband's schtick only if they have to...they may TRY an alternate sexual position...MAYBE doggie-style...there may be some soft words in the "afterglow", but nothing risque...porn is still a four-letter word but you KNOW he secretly checks out porn while at the office at work or when wifey isnt home or asleep in bed...and he jacks off when he can...she might, too, but not too often...oral sex happens once in a very blue moon...when the moon is as blue as his balls...

whole milk - here is where things will get a little more interesting...we are still very much in the realm of vanilla, but this couple will check out porn together...nothing too heavy and never anything kinky...just straight up couples fucking (although he will definitely check out tons of other kinky shit when she isnt around)...they are okay with masturbating in front of each other and they enjoy oral sex...they will opt for missionary, doggie, 69, cowgirl/reverse cowgirl...that is kinky for them...he is still the one in control for the most part...we begin to see a few sex toys in a special box...

baileys on the rocks - now we are skirting the edges of vanilla...this is where there are blurring of lines...this is where some edge play takes place...they experiment in some role play, maybe a role reversal where she is taking the lead...this couple has a modest assortment of sexual accessories...he may even be interested in some anal stimulation...there may be light bondage and some definite talks of more intense fetishes or fantasies...they may toy with the idea of a sexually open relationship, but chances are, this is just a part of the fantasy mode because they really arent up to this...this couple has definite streaks of exhibitionism...they are just one more splash of baileys away from having an open relationship...

bailey's and kahlua - they have taken things to a new level...they are open sexually to a point (this isnt about cuckolding...yet...that will be more kahlua and less bailey's lol...) and they both enjoy more serious edge play...they dont have a toy box...they have a fucking closet...they enjoy vanilla sex, but they need more edgy activities here and there to keep things interesting...they enjoy pushing that envelope...their sexuality is not just an extention of their relationship...it reflects who they are...they are getting into darker realms with candlewax on the nipples, spankings, fucking in public places, the idea of getting caught is a big arousal factor at times...

white russian - this is it...this couple pushes the limits knowing that one day they may push too far, but they cant stop because they are so turned on by it...there is a huge emotional factor here...because they push to the limit but there is a concern at times that they are going to go too far...they have extensive sex accessories...they have invested time and money into their sexual actitivities and they may enjoy sex in front of others, cuckolding, orgasm withholding, CBT, heavier bondage, more intense spankings, etc...there may also be interests in humiliation...they may have a more permanent relationship with D/s or something along those lines...this is a part of who they are...it isnt just something that they play around with...it is real and not for plain milk drinkers...

did i leave anything out?...this was just a quick overview...so, where do you fall in line...i would LOVE to hear everyone's thoughts on this one...lol...

cg

10 curious people say...:

wingnut said...

I like milk

curiousgirl said...

yes, but what kind of milk?..hmm?...

cg

NWO said...

How about a milkshake? Vigorous jackhammer sex, lasting 3 minutes but rocking the room while it lasts.

Aneris said...

I alternate between heavy cream and kahlua.

Percy said...

very nice the continuum you came up with there.
where I am with wife.. that is said on my blog. where I am in other places.. well... somewhere else.

mnwhr said...

This is nice! In my current relationship, definitely whole milk, for now.

curiousgirl said...

@nwo - 3 minute jack hammer sex, huh...so i guess it lasts as long as the batteries do? hehehe ;)

@aneris - nice answer!

@percy - ah, but based on my little chart, where do you fall?...

@mnwhr - glad you liked it!...whole milk...thick and rich...;)

(gives whole new meaning to the "got milk?" campaign lol)

cg

Percy said...

well with wife.. whole milk..

Pronto said...

well, here's a new thought,

whipped cream?

what say you?

comfydildo said...

hmm... darling definately wants nothing to do with my ideas lately but I'm ready to go for a white Russian. We're probably somewhere in between no sex at all at our worst and Baileys on the rocks at our best.